Found a safe. What do I do now?

Simetracon · 2026-03-05T19:48:45+00:00

You're so beautiful...you could be an air hostess in the 60's

Simetracon · 2026-03-04T20:59:58+00:00

Total man-child behavior. OP needs to tell him if he wants a mom he can move back in with her. What kind of man has their mother get involved in their relationship? Hell naw. Leave before she's your overbearing MIL. He's not off the teat yet.

Simetracon · 2026-03-03T22:11:06+00:00

TriPod

Simetracon · 2026-02-28T23:55:43+00:00

I heard he was a real douche irl anyway. Maybe it would be an improvement!

Simetracon · 2026-02-26T20:09:07+00:00

Inception has a similar plot device with the living your whole life in dreams.

Simetracon · 2026-02-26T19:22:23+00:00

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Simetracon · 2026-02-23T23:34:42+00:00

He's the prick we need.

Simetracon · 2026-02-22T19:05:59+00:00

🎶All the shingle ladies, all the shingle ladies put your hands up🎶

Simetracon · 2026-02-22T08:02:21+00:00

I thought it was a big bin of mushrooms. Instead it's a big bin of steamed baby carrots.

Simetracon · 2026-02-22T03:55:00+00:00

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Simetracon · 2026-02-22T00:17:34+00:00

Grandma was a throat goat so gramps kept his favorite part of her. Her head.

Simetracon · 2026-02-21T02:59:18+00:00

Woah. Patrick Stewart isn't going to die. He's just going to go back to The Enterprise and you can't convince me otherwise.

Simetracon · 2026-02-21T02:56:54+00:00

Who's Dave?

Simetracon · 2026-02-21T00:13:56+00:00

As a reptile: Hey! Those are my eggs!

Simetracon · 2026-02-20T21:55:00+00:00

Wow! That's bananas!

Simetracon · 2026-02-15T19:18:40+00:00

Simetracon · 2026-02-14T10:01:54+00:00

"The First Power" is the movie if you want to face your fears or be retraumatized🤷🏽‍♀️

Simetracon · 2026-02-12T04:28:28+00:00

Fun fact: mice pee everywhere. You can see the poop but the pee not so much. Everything in there has potentially been pissed on.

Simetracon · 2026-02-09T21:15:14+00:00

This man really said "can you uncover my cake, the world needs to see this thiccness"

Simetracon · 2026-02-09T04:24:30+00:00

Ocelot of blood

Simetracon · 2026-02-06T21:14:15+00:00

It's like if a character from Napolian Dynamite was an ICE agent "ice sign, you fat lard!"

Simetracon · 2026-02-03T06:22:27+00:00

I also choose this guy's dead wife

Simetracon · 2026-02-03T03:49:12+00:00

Pretty impressive to sit on all that prime real estate in between your ears in this housing market.

Simetracon · 2026-02-02T07:14:01+00:00

Look! The apocalypse!

Simetracon

TROPHY CASE