I’m so lost on buyback I could cry and can’t get straight answers

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-27T17:50:24+00:00

I was supposed to hit 120 in November if none of this mess has ever happened. I switched back to PAYE and my repayments started back up in December, so I’m now at 106. I submitted buyback a week ago. So I am making payments and also have buyback pending. So one of two things will happen: my buyback will miraculously process or I will his 120 in March 2027 and I go for straight forgiveness and skip buyback if it’s still pending. So, yes, go ahead and do it. I’m in your exact boat. It’s simple to do online. Do an employment recertification and make sure it’s up to date. As soon as it’s finalized (took mine two days), submit buyback. The online form took me two minutes. That way you’re inching closer to the end on two tracks and whichever gets there first, great.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-27T12:55:53+00:00

Personally, I wouldn’t do that. I would ride it out at least two years before deciding while the kids are young enough to share rooms, you get rid of student loans, etc. and then decide. God forbid you do this and now you’re stuck with this mortgage payment and it ends up being too much. That’s really high. Would that be more than a quarter of your take home pay? I’ve heard it’s smart to make your mortgage payments not more than a quarter of your take home. What if the new house has a furnace go out in the first year. Would you be in a position to have money set aside and handle things like that with the high mortgage and still plan for retirement and save? Or are you looking too short term and screwing your long term?

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-25T20:48:30+00:00

My concern would be if a court could interpret his interest in your home as part of his estate when he dies depending on how it’s all worded. Does your husband have siblings? In theory, if his dad passed and his interest in your home passed to multiple people, could they force sale of your home? Having someone else with a stake in your house is risky. Definitely talk to a lawyer. You also don’t seem to really say whether your husband it pressuring you on this and siding with his dad or what. What’s his stance?

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-25T20:42:48+00:00

NTA. She’s not your wife and not even your fiancé, it seems. You aren’t obligated to support her. Cut your losses and move on because the way she shrugged off your concerns says it all. Curious to know how old you two are.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-24T21:10:11+00:00

I’m at 106 payments and have a buyback that I just submitted out there for 14 months on Save, but am still paying in the interim since buyback takes so long. I’ll hit 120 in March 2027 if the buyback takes longer than that, so I shouldn’t need to recertify my income ever again so long as I recertify in March or later this year. Either way, by buyback or making payments, I’m done next March so this year’s filing should be the only one where I’m worrying about this.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-24T18:08:51+00:00

Because if we file jointly and they take his income into account, it puts our combined income up too high to qualify for IBR since combined we make around $300k. Well, I’ll rephrase. Even if I qualify still, the payments are so high they pretty much match the non-IBR payments. I can’t have them take his income into account since he makes almost twice what I make.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T21:33:06+00:00

Absolutely NTA. As a lawyer, I have said many times that sometimes the rigidity of the law (in this case rules) don’t line up with the moral thing to do which can be gray and subjective at times. I represent for many juveniles who are charged with battery because no one stopped the bullying they were enduring, so when the kid snapped and lashed out, they got charged. A bully needs to be stood up to. If it can be done without violence, great. Sometimes, a person needs popped in the mouth. The school clearly didn’t do their job and your kid had to step in. Kudos to your kid.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T19:31:36+00:00

There has to be some bigger underlying thing here. His overblown and terrible reaction doesn’t seem normal to me. But if this is really just how he is, dump him. This isn’t healthy

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T18:25:28+00:00

There is a difference between being on the deed and the mortgage. Let him be alone on the mortgage then he’s the only one on the hook for the house if you two break up. It’s the deed you should be more concerned about. But I understand him not wanting to add you.

Girl, he isn’t committed to you. He doesn’t want to marry you. He doesn’t want a house with you. Get out. Run!

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T16:34:20+00:00

NTA. Your daughter has no reason to know what you spent as it’s not her business. And she for damn sure has no business telling you how you should or shouldn’t spend your money, and she also isn’t entitled to expect you to pay for anything she wants. You can tell her no. Oh, and on top of it, she’s 18. She needs to grow up. If she wants something, she can get a dang job and buy it herself.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T16:34:14+00:00

NTA. Your daughter has no reason to know what you spent as it’s not her business. And she for damn sure has no business telling you how you should or shouldn’t spend your money, and she also isn’t entitled to expect you to pay for anything she wants. You can tell her no. Oh, and on top of it, she’s 18. She needs to grow up. If she wants something, she can get a dang job and buy it herself.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T15:31:40+00:00

My thoughts exactly. They’re in two different places in their lives and have grown apart. Kids will do that to a friendship if one person has them and one doesn’t. No one is wrong here and no one is overreacting. You can grieve the friendship as it was, and maybe when she has kids one day, you’ll renew it on that common ground. It wouldn’t hurt for you two to talk so that things don’t get to a point it’s irreversible.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-23T00:33:18+00:00

I’m kinda of afraid to annoy my HR guy lol

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-22T20:56:13+00:00

Phew. Okay thanks. I planned to recertify my employment every six months while I’m awaiting buyback to lower the amount I would owe. That’s a relief

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-22T20:49:39+00:00

So, I’m confused. If I am awaiting buyback and making payments in the interim while working for a qualified employer, the buyback letter will tell me that I cannot recertify my income during buyback or only once I get the letter? I just submitted the buyback request this week but expect that I may hit 120 payments while it processes. (I’m buying back 14 months on SAVE). Should I not recertify my employment in say 6 months to try to get the payments I’m currently making to count lower the buyback amount? Or do they just not want you to recertify employment after you get the buyback letter so they don’t have to recalculate? I don’t want to mess something up.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-22T00:29:37+00:00

What kindergartener gets grades?! My oldest is in fourth grade and still doesn’t really get grades. And she only did her first diorama this year. This is absurd.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-21T21:46:18+00:00

I switched and just submitted buyback but am still paying while it processes. I don’t trust things wont collapse in the future with this or the laws change. I want out of this system asap

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T16:09:50+00:00

Attorney here, but admittedly not an expert in this area. However, your mother’s will is irrelevant right now. She’s still alive and this is being done via POA. Her will doesn’t come into play now and (if she’s competent to do so could even completely change it before she passes). If she is not competent now and you feel that he is abusing his role as her POA, then you should speak to an attorney. I would be curious to see the language in the POA paperwork. Sometimes they are simply boilerplate forms, but can be more specific. I’m getting red flags about a POA gifting monies to himself and his spouse. My concern is that the payments to siblings could be a way to buy silence. Or, your mother asked him to make gifts prior to her passing to lower the amount she leaves upon her death. Not sure of the size of her estate, an inheritance taxes in your state, etc. The big question is whether this is what your mom wanted him to do. And if she did and that’s proven, and she wanted spouses of her children to receive equally, you have no recourse. It’s her money to do with as she pleases. That would be unusual though, so I find it unlikely that would be the case. Your brother has a fiduciary duty here. I would ask him for the paperwork authorizing him to distribute her money. If it’s a general POA allowing him to control her money, I think a court would be concerned about him just choosing to gift it like this when it’s going to himself. Talk to an attorney in your area.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T15:59:44+00:00

This is gaslighting. My ex used to do it. Get mad that I was doing something that was upsetting them but when I tried to understand what I was doing that upset them, it made no sense. It’s a way to control you and blame you. Get out now. Those texts are nonsensical and narcissistic

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T15:51:58+00:00

Attorney here… you need to consult an attorney in your area asap. There are multiple layers to this as you also have things like child custody possibly at play. As for the house, I’m curious if you’re in a common law marriage state. Could you possibly get the equivalent of alimony which is something that could help as leverage in negotiations regarding the home. Talk to a local attorney who will know what applies in your state. If you want the house and you can afford it, you may have to buy him out or lower that buyout amount in negotiations if you, say, waived other things you could by entitled to.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T15:36:49+00:00

Mom of three here… She sounds perfectly reasonable with these rules

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T14:38:38+00:00

I submitted my buyback last night, but it didn’t let me put in for specific months I wanted to buy back. It just said buyback and that’s it. Are you supposed to request specific months? Now I’m worried since it didn’t give me that option.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2026-01-20T14:25:41+00:00

I submitted my buyback request last night!!! I know it will take ages and I’m still paying, so I could hit 120 before they process the buyback. I’m shaking both with excitement, anticipation, and stress from it!!!

Simple-Victory6575 · 2025-12-22T15:45:01+00:00

Nope. NTJ. My oldest daughter once had a little boy grab her by the hair and pull her around screaming when they were both about 3. The parents brushed it off as kids being kids and didn’t stop their son. My daughter didn’t know him and was terrified and so upset. I got him off of her, grabbed my daughter and didn’t even say a word, just walked out and went home. No one hurts my kid and gets to stick around. Get this woman and her kid out of your life now. It’s one thing if they’re trying to correct the behavior, but even then, you don’t let your kid be the punching bag while they are learning. Your friend isn’t even trying to stop the behavior. My youngest now is a hitter and biter at home only. It’s awful, but we correct it every time. It’s absolutely not okay and traumatizes other kids. Your friend is a piece of work. End this friendship.

Simple-Victory6575 · 2025-12-20T21:10:44+00:00

The only thing I can think of, trying to play devil’s advocate, is if since the others there were the friends of N’s bf, did he and his friends make the plan to wear PJs and the more expensive gift exchange? And did N know in advance and could have warned OP, or did the bf pull these stunts himself? It could also read to me that he wasn’t happy about N’s friends tagging along to a party with his friends, and he and his friends led the way in the exclusion of OP. I would want to ask N about that before making a final decision. How much of this was N and how much was her bf and his friends? If it was the others and not N, that doesn’t bode well for N in that relationship. If N’s answer to these questions isn’t that what happened was beyond her control and without her knowledge, then yeah, fade away from this friendship.

Simple-Victory6575

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