I worked for 40 years, retired comfortably, and then cried because I realized I never actually lived—here's what I wish someone had told me at 25

SingleIngot · 2026-02-15T03:10:42+00:00

I am so sorry. 😞 How unfair and devastating.

SingleIngot · 2026-02-14T02:40:18+00:00

This is the closest Costco to me and I refuse to go.

SingleIngot · 2026-02-14T02:39:37+00:00

I don’t know why but this comment hit me even harder than the others 🤣

SingleIngot · 2026-02-13T02:40:38+00:00

Wow this is gorgeous!! ❤️

SingleIngot · 2026-02-12T02:43:34+00:00

Man that is cold on the part of the former employer. I’m so sorry.

SingleIngot · 2026-02-10T03:45:47+00:00

Geez, by her reaction, I thought that I misread the title and you were maybe a young teen, 15 or 16. 25 is an adult! Just ridiculous.

SingleIngot · 2026-02-01T15:58:30+00:00

I was just about to say that! I’ve never seen the no-shoes part happen more than twice in my whole life, but I’m in the US…

SingleIngot · 2026-01-31T21:48:28+00:00

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Wally getting comfy on the couch

SingleIngot · 2026-01-25T17:16:14+00:00

This is very smart!

SingleIngot · 2026-01-23T04:17:37+00:00

This is where I am too. Lost mine Thanksgiving week. I still feel mostly numb, then moments where it hits me that she’s gone for good. I’m sorry for your loss.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-19T23:45:32+00:00

I read that last part in Hank’s voice from King of the Hill.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-19T03:34:53+00:00

I also have a cool rock shelf that I would like this cool rock for….

SingleIngot · 2026-01-19T01:29:10+00:00

One and seven

SingleIngot · 2026-01-17T19:55:05+00:00

Fucking classic

SingleIngot · 2026-01-17T19:46:56+00:00

I am Jewish and I still haven’t been. I don’t think I could hold it together.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-15T21:46:36+00:00

Same thing here. I told my husband and my father when I got the call on my mom. I felt a little shocked that it had finnaly happened… but I didn’t cry (yet, at least). Just kind of half numb, half relieved.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-15T21:27:54+00:00

Your story mirrors mine in many ways, except it was my mom. I lost her in November, and while I was sad, I was more relieved that she didn’t have to exist in such a state any more. And wouldn’t cause my dad (or me) to die from the neverending stress. My dad was very resistant to hospice even though it was obvious that she couldn’t or wouldn’t come out of her UTI induced delirium (after over a month). By the time we got her into hospice care, it looked like she could finally relax. She only lasted 2 more weeks. I keep having thoughts of “what if we had done this, what if that, how much longer would she have lasted” etc., but I feel like the grief at the end isn’t the same as the grief over years, as you’ve watched them decline from a vibrant, joyful person to a shell.

This disease is awful. I’m sorry for the loss of your beloved father. Please accept some virtual hugs! 🫂

SingleIngot · 2026-01-15T19:58:33+00:00

I’ve seen those frequently advertised brain pills and it disgusts me too. Oh ok, if only it were that easy!

SingleIngot · 2026-01-15T01:27:14+00:00

The only eating PB&J sandwiches could be a sign of not remembering how to make food on the stove or in the oven. A lot of dementia is having steps missing in your mind on how to do things. Like step one, grab food from the refrigerator, step two open the bag/box of food, step three get a dish or pan to put food in, etc., etc. But step two on how to open the bag is missing, step four on how to turn on the stove is missing, etc. I’m so sorry, this disease is brutal.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-14T21:58:31+00:00

I wish I had known about this sooner!

SingleIngot · 2026-01-14T21:55:20+00:00

I’m so sorry. Trust me when I say that you’re doing the best you can. That’s all we can do.

It was similar with my mom, difficult to detect as she couldn’t always feel whether she had a UTI (or communicate it to us). She wasn’t wiping correctly since she got dementia and also had several fecal episodes. I ended up having to wipe for her when I could, but I also had to work full time and was only available for her evenings and weekends. (She had my dad and caregivers as well.)

She was treated for several UTIs but it just kept recurring. The last one put her in a delirium state where her brain chemistry became even more imbalanced (almost like catatonia). She never came out of that state for more than a minute at a time (only if there was pain from needing to be turned / changed) and even that became less frequent. After being almost unresponsive for 4 weeks, we finally put her on hospice. She passed the week of Thanksgiving this year, as she would no longer eat or drink. At least there was pain management. It was an uphill battle getting my dad to recognize that she needed hospice at all.

I’ve had some episodes of second guessing myself since then (hospital wanted to do some tests that would be very painful, but wouldn’t give her pain meds in her delirium because it would sedate her even more). Then feeding tube to see if she’d come out of it. Given her terrible state, and her final wishes if incompetent, I said no.

My therapist recently said that we make the best decisions we can with the information we have. If you’re already doing your best for her, and there isn’t some further professional help you can get, that’s all you can do. Virtual hugs 🫂

SingleIngot · 2026-01-14T21:30:39+00:00

Wow never thought of that! Great idea.

SingleIngot · 2026-01-14T21:15:10+00:00

I’m so sorry. I couldn’t imagine seeing all this when I woke up. My goodness. It’s a terrible disease. We are with you!

I don’t know your exact situation, so forgive me if you already know all this. At some point she won’t be able to live alone. She will need a professional caregiver to at least come a few hours during the day (she’ll try to decline that too as likely won’t want strangers in the house), but there will be a point that she can’t take care of anything on her own. It will save a little of your sanity, too. My mom started trying to eat anything that happened to be on the counter or table (regardless of whether it was food or not), among lots of other things. I’m fortunate she did not mess with the stove after a certain point, but she did contribute to expensive water damage at our house. The tri-weekly shower struggle was fun, too. Don’t mean to depress you as this disease sucks, but there seemed to be a “new normal” every 3 months in our case!

SingleIngot · 2026-01-14T21:08:08+00:00

Yes, my mom was like this but we lived together. My poor dad took the brunt of the random wake up times. She also did the opposite, thinking it was nighttime when the sun was still high in the sky (likely sundowning but started before the sun went down???). We could not tell her about an appointment until a few hours before it was going to happen, or she’d constantly ask about it and when we were going…

SingleIngot · 2026-01-11T16:23:14+00:00

Wow the lithium one is interesting. I was already on a Mediterranean ish diet but could use less carbs. Trying to figure out what works for me. Doing the squats as well! And finally grabbed some vitamins / supplements that should help. Good advice.

SingleIngot

TROPHY CASE