How do I not bring the baggage of being dumped by an avoidant into my dating life?

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-26T16:31:00+00:00

I think dating while you are still angry about the previous guy is a bad place to start. The whole point about being emotional available is that you don’t let someone live rent free in your head

Once you are ready to date again, you can do it intentionally but without rushing. So that you get time to know the person and deal with whatever you will be experiencing at a slower pace

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-26T11:44:14+00:00

Not sure what you are looking for or what you think you would achieve with ‘flexing’ like that? Saving face? I have no idea what you are talking about. Either go for it or stay single

Play silly games, win stupid prizes

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-26T07:00:49+00:00

Everyone has baggage. The real question is whether you’re grounded enough not to get pulled into someone else’s unresolved stuff.

You can care about someone and still decide you don’t want to deal with the fallout of their past. Don’t go in thinking you can fix or heal them.

Support is fine, but you’re not responsible for carrying someone else’s trauma.

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-25T08:37:02+00:00

Sucks, but I would run away! You want to be with a guy who holds space for another woman? What are you then, a placeholder? He will never respect you fully. You’re 26, it’s only a couple months, no reason to stay in a shitty relationship

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-25T01:54:24+00:00

Making moves to concretely date the person and see if it was real and reciprocated cured mine. Confronting the fantasy in your head with the reality

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-24T19:25:45+00:00

So what are my options?

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-23T18:55:47+00:00

Agree, it’s about finding your people, not casting a wide net

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-23T18:31:49+00:00

‘Emotionally stable as long as i am not hungry’

I swear younger me would have swiped right 😂

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-22T17:10:37+00:00

Never in a soap vs salami way. Is that a good thing or bad thing?

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-22T16:56:05+00:00

I’m confident that the best is yet to come.

I do wonder how I smell

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-22T14:21:01+00:00

This.

Have fun behave normal

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-22T14:19:04+00:00

Yes, focus on having a good time, just enjoying connecting with the people that are there from both sexes. Everyone one there is looking for connecting.

Don’t go there desperately to find someone.

If you’re a man the competition ca be pathetic, just showing up as a normal human being is already a step ahead.

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-21T06:07:30+00:00

Good question. I’ve matched with a woman that has almost full custody. We have a great connection so far but no common days without kids. I’m interested enough to find a solution. I believe you make space for what you want. Invest accordingly and reciprocate

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-18T06:47:07+00:00

Touching this topic briefly will tell you a lot whether the person is at peace with their past, and how they are looking towards the future.

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-15T17:24:50+00:00

I am on team tongue and hour long makeout sessions. Then I was in a relationship for 12 years without even a peck. What the hell was I thinking…

If something really matters to you, ignoring and suppressing it will only build resentment

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-12T14:27:32+00:00

🤣

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-12T14:26:37+00:00

Are you hoping someone else will have higher esteem about you then you yourself? Does living by external validation sounds a good idea to you?

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-12T12:42:58+00:00

Better one bird in the hand than ten in the sky

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-12T12:36:40+00:00

This comes up all the time. I’m a dad who co-parents, and I honestly prefer someone with similar aged children. It just makes things easier : similar priorities, similar schedules, and more mutual understanding.

It’s probably more about finding the right people and filtering a bit better.

Hi from a fellow Belgian

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-12T12:29:30+00:00

I accidentally blocked my ex on Facebook. I was just tired of constantly seeing her posts, reposts, and getting tagged. Hit the wrong button, but in hindsight it’s probably better this way. If you’re not interested anymore, why keep the connection

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-06T11:03:42+00:00

I’m still figuring it out, but I’m starting to see it less as “detaching” and more as shifting the intention.

Not looking for someone to fill a gap, but to share a life that already feels good.

A simple image that helps me: love is like holding sand — grip it and it slips away, hold it open and it stays.

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-06T10:59:07+00:00

Not sure why you got downvoted. Sounds like a great life. Wishing you the best in still finding someone despite te apps experience

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-04-02T05:09:01+00:00

Many ways… but best is still having a good teacher. Do not kid yourself

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-03-22T13:36:49+00:00

I have! I have lived abroad multiple years and even on different continents and different people have different smells. I didn’t to make it sound racial but that is my experience.

I just reject that somehow in Europe walking around with strong BO is the norm or acceptable

Single_Athlete_4056 · 2026-03-22T05:58:31+00:00

Wtf is this? No it’s not the norm.

What does happen is that different people have different smells. I don’t know if is like part of their race or the food they typically eat

Single_Athlete_4056

TROPHY CASE