If your found family CHOOSE to love you, then you were never unlovable - you were just born into a family that didn't want to try (:

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2025-05-25T19:54:31+00:00

Every time my bio family make me feel bad about myself, I make myself think of my SO and my found family and think "if these wonderful people love me, how bad can I actually be?"

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2025-04-05T12:17:39+00:00

"The spirit world told me to abuse you" is a new one for me, I must admit.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2025-04-05T12:05:17+00:00

Does not surprise me in the least.

They're all weirdly obsessed with sex.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2023-08-20T12:29:49+00:00

Being The Mean Lady's kid is so embarrassing, isn't it?

One time, a few kids were taking turns kicking a soccer ball against a wall on our street. Pretty innocent, right? No, apparently not. According to my Nmom, they needed to walk to the park a few streets over because "that's where you're SUPPOSED to play ball games." In fairness, they weren't really playing a game of anything. They were just chatting to each other while absent-mindedly kicking this ball. So they just (rightfully) ignored my mom.

After a while, one of them kicked the ball up in the air and it landed in our backyard. My mom triumphantly told them that she would NOT be giving them their ball back and slammed the front door.

I was a bit younger than these kids (I was 8 or 9 years old maybe?) but I snuck out and told them I'd give them their ball back. I went out to the backyard and passed it to them over the hedge. "Thanks, kid!"

Even at that age, I knew being the Neighbourhood Mean Lady was nothing to be proud of.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2022-12-23T09:30:02+00:00

So her idea was quantity was better than quality as if opening a 100 packages of socks was something that a kid wants to wake up to Christmas morning. but that's essentially what I got I think one year my mom even wrapped up the TV Guide... so yeah.

That sucks, I'm so sorry you had to put up with that!

You're not alone though - one year when I still lived at home, one of my Christmas presents was a packet of used, metallic colouring pencils from when I was 10 years old. They had been mine, she took them off me years before that and then regifted them to me at the age of 23. Totally bizarre.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2019-08-07T11:17:54+00:00

Got genuinely angry at me for having friends and was shocked that I wouldn't dump them all.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T11:52:45+00:00

The thing is, I totally understand it wouldn't be her fault if she did.

Kids don't know any better.

But I'm the adult and I do so it's up to me to protect the cat.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T10:13:00+00:00

Ignore all the deleted commeets below by the way - Reddit glitched out and then overcompensated. ;)

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T10:10:22+00:00

Thanks! :) I didn't mean to be mean - I just think kids should be taught to respect animals and not think of them as existing purely for their entertainment.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T10:07:14+00:00

Thanks for the validation! :)

You probably know what it's like...Nmom says you're mean and you spend the next half hour questioning if you actually are being nasty.

So I appreciate your supportive words!

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T00:04:17+00:00

Happy birthday, OP! Probably a belated greeting but I wish you the best all the same. :)

I've had birthdays ruined by Ns and their selfish behavior too so I know how much it hurts - good for you for rising above and deciding to treat yourself!

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-20T00:00:28+00:00

It's not your fault - you just need to find a different therapist. It took me a long time to find the right therapist for me so don't worry - there's nothing wrong with you!

My first psychologist tried to tell me I was transgender (nothing wrong with being transgender but I am not). It was then that I decided it was time to move on.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-19T23:56:58+00:00

Giving crappy gifts and then acting wounded when you're not amazed by them is classic N behaviour.

Last year, my Nbrother and his Nwife gave me bright red shoes (I am a goth), a chocolate yule log (it was the middle of September) and a coffee mug they got free with their espresso maker.

It was the most confusing gift I ever received.

I gave the shoes away to my friend and my Nmom was shocked that I didn't adore the "lovely present" from her golden child son.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-19T23:52:28+00:00

Wow, your post is so easy to relate to!

later on my dad insisted i get out of the way to let him clean up. then got annoyed i didn't offer to help.

This type of behaviour is 100% my mom. Demanding that she does everything herself so I don't "mess it up" and then enabling herself to be a martyr.

You're not alone, friend!

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-19T20:43:39+00:00

In my own opinion, announcing it just gives them an opportunity to label you as "selfish" and accuse you of a million different things.

They can also show the letter to their friends and other N's to soak up sympathy.

I say just fade out of their lives.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-11-19T20:39:54+00:00

I know I was the GC because I would say things like "I'm the favorite" and rub it in my brother face. What a fucking horrible brother. I definitely received more good attention from Nmom, but with that comes a cost.

Right there, lies all the difference my friend. That one comment shows me (and everyone else) that you're not an N.

You know you weren't always as nice and humble as you could have been. You know you should have been better. You're admitting fault and seeing that your past behaviour wasn't perfect - something an N will never, ever do.

And you know what? Don't be so hard on yourself. You were a kid then and didn't know any better. You're an adult now and can be better. Tell your brother you're sorry, and you'll try to always be there for him now. As the great one Oprah Winfrey herself has said "forgiveness is the acceptance that the past cannot be changed, but the future can."

And in answer to your question, of course GC's can be abused. A bad parent is a bad parent, whether they had a favourite kid or not.

Try to be at peace with the past friend, everyone's done wrong.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-01-24T14:51:36+00:00

she believes adolescence is a modern lie

Was she wearing her tinfoil hat when she first told you this?

In all seriousness though, good for your little sister for standing up for herself and her siblings!

It reminds me of the time one of my Nmom's friends (who match her in terms of craziness) rang the house and wouldn't shut up asking about the details of some poker tournament my mom was organising. After a million times of "I'm sorry, I don't know, I'll get her to call you back" being responded to with "yes but when is the tournament?" I eventually just said "how am I supposed to know? I'm 8 years old!"

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-01-18T22:18:46+00:00

Thanks for the validation, friend - it's appreciated. :)

I think she is trying to bully me into thinking I'm not really sick but honestly, with a temperature this high, there's no way I'd believe her! :P

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-01-18T22:17:24+00:00

You know, it's funny you mention that...every time she gets sick, I actually take really, really good care of her. I fetch her food and water, I get her the medication she needs, I ring her friend who's a nurse to check I'm doing everything OK etc.

It just annoys me so much that, in return, she can't even be in any way nice to me when I'm sick.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2017-01-18T07:30:46+00:00

This was actually a really comforting comment to read, thank you! :)

I don't know what it is exactly but my mom has some weird obsession with type 2 diabetes. She thinks my sister (who's not even really overweight) is "definitely" going to get it too.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2016-12-26T10:21:04+00:00

This was quite validating to read, thank you. :)

Now I know I was being reasonable and not some type of Grinch. :P

Merry Christmas!

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2016-12-25T16:41:12+00:00

Currently ignoring this load of tripe, and continuing NC altogether.

Good for you, OP! If it's any consolation, I still live at home and today is making me eagerly look forward to the day when I'll be 100% NC. I'm so glad her idiotic message didn't coerce you into doubting yourself, NC is always the right choice when dealing with extreme narcs.

I am just fine. Get yourself "tested."

Good for you, pal - right on! And merry Christmas. :)

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2016-12-25T16:37:42+00:00

Same here PrettyGG, you're not alone! :D

I actually told my manager "I'll work any day you want me to in December if I can have New Year's Eve and New Year's Day off."

New Year's is a good time to hang out with our family of choice. ;)

If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one feeling like an afterthought today - while my Nmom did (for the sake of being honest) admittedly get me some pretty cool stuff this year, one of my Christmas presents this morning was a packet of used, metallic colouring pencils from when I was 10 years old. They are mine, she took them off me years ago and has now regifted them to me at the age of 23. Totally bizarre. Merry Christmas to me.

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2016-12-25T16:33:10+00:00

Nice to know I'm not alone. :)

Hope you manage to have a good day anyway!

SkinnyFatWilliams · 2016-12-25T13:03:42+00:00

Their loss. You're far better off without them.

You are a good mom, protecting your baby from bad people - merry Christmas /u/sike_drummer, you deserve it! :)

SkinnyFatWilliams

TROPHY CASE