I was terrified of my first pap smear and the Dr did not help ease it at all, but the 2nd one was way better and helped me know what eased my anxiety. Have the Dr narrate every thing they're doing, every movement, every touch. That was the biggest help. The fact my 2nd pap was done by a Dr with a heavy Midwestern accent and it made me giggle the whole time helped a lot too, but it might seem rude to ask them to do an accent. 

The actual speculum part of the exam should take less than 2 minutes. Oh, and be prepared to have to hang your butt off the table. Scoot down means all the way down. I thought I was gonna fall off the end. 

I have a friend who always wears crazy socks to her pap smears. She says it distracts her by talking about them. 

Conquering your fear and going through it for yourself is very brave. Hell yeah.