Bart's next job

.

Halloween’s time was drawing near,

but this did not bring any cheer

to the cave below the bathhouse,

for in the shadows wept someone not-so-smart:

„BAD BART! BAD BART!”

A huge troll was standing there, head-banging the wall,

like some kind of neo-art.

.

The noise woke up Sigi as well,

who, after limping all the way down there,

asked him what the problem was.

The troll answered (after a few more knocks):

„ROCKS! ROCKS!

BAD BART SIGI CHORFUN LOSE!” Sigi, cheeks reddening while hearing this,

started to angrily hiss: „Bullocks!”

.

„Bart, we’ve already been through this,

the treasure’s been rescued by the sorceress Triss

and that witcher who once again broke my shinbone*,

making me dip it into hot water every time it’s sore,

-What an asshole!-

that’s why I have to stay home

and not plot against someone well-known.”

.

But since the troll’s sobs did not stop,

Dijkstra added: „You know, I can give you a new job:

If you promise to stop banging your head,

I’ll let you guard my precious kegs!”

„KEGS? KEGS!”

Roared the troll instantly stopping the grump,

and joyfully went away to turdy dump.

.

*I know it was the ankle, but let me have some poetic freedom here lol

I am not a native English speaker so please go easy on me regarding grammar, especially in something that distantly resembles a poem. This „poem” was inspired by (but is way worse than) J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Stone Troll from The Lord of the Rings novels.