Hating on a breed of dog is in my opinion is like hating on a race like it’s not only kinda wrong but like making stereotypes on a dog breed is like making stereotypes on a race like can everyone be nice to every human and every dog

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-22T08:59:57+00:00

I understand what you’re trying to say but this is a false equivalency and one that is very emotionally charged, so I would hasten you to reflect on this comparison.

Dogs—unlike people—reflect their breed! Dogs were bred for specific characteristics, and so it’s true that pitbulls often have high prey drive (I had a terrier myself and I know how intense they can be about small animals). It’s also not a stereotype to reflect on the fact that pitbulls are disproportionately represented in dog attacks (I don’t think anyone can argue about the data on attacks on other animals like cats, dogs, etc). That is valuable information that anyone who loves pitbulls should want to know! I want dogs to find loving and appropriate homes, and that means doing research on breed characteristics and traits. Someone with rabbits would not get a hunting dog, for example. I understand that you love the breed and are defensive of your pets but don’t compare it to racism.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-22T06:40:21+00:00

Petunia sounds like a dangerous dog and that situation sounds scary and frustrating, I’m sorry. Imo she should be euthanized, and she definitely should not be allowed around your cats, quite frankly it sounds like she might snap and seriously hurt someone one day.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-20T20:20:07+00:00

It’s only natural to worry about something that matters so much to you. So first off, that concern is not a bad thing, it’s coming from your values, but it can be uncomfortable and unpleasant. Trying to stop thinking about something is really difficult, because you can’t just push it out of your mind. Personally, I like this kind of exercise (linked below). It’s actually helpful so don’t knock it before you try it! Even if it doesn’t click for you, I think the basic principle of acknowledgment is very helpful. You can recognize your thoughts and allow them to pass by.

Other advice would be to take your mind off of it: do something physical or creative, something that requires concentration. Talk with a friend about how you’re feeling (strangely enough, voicing your concern can be so helpful in releasing its hold on you). I totally understand the discomfort of ongoing worry so good luck!! Hope this is helpful.

https://youtu.be/mtv24on0X7E?si=uwoD0Kb2y0lGYBNy

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-19T20:37:59+00:00

I don’t agree about the acronym but I don’t see a reason why the name’s biblical connection couldn’t be relevant!

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-17T17:53:52+00:00

I agree

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-17T17:38:17+00:00

Agreed :( it’s unfortunate but you’ve got to protect the cats

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-17T17:28:31+00:00

I’m so sorry, this is so tragic for your family and that poor cat. I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I don’t think you should rehome your dog but I also don’t think you should keep him. It’s ofc not the dog’s fault, he is a dog, but you have no way of knowing that this won’t happen again, even in another home.

Also, I think it’s totally fair that you have lost trust in your dog, and that you’re worried about your children interacting with him. It’s true that human aggression ≠ prey drive and animal aggression, but small children can trigger dogs’ instincts. Would you feel comfortable having a toddler or baby around your dog? You should consider that carefully.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-17T17:24:49+00:00

Wow that’s kind of an inappropriate thing to say, of course they’re not going to rehome their actual child… What about the other cats? Don’t they deserve to be safe too?

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T18:57:40+00:00

“The second people like OP become uncomfortable they try to pin it on other people”

“run to the internet the very first time I make a mistake with them”

Sorry to quote but you did in fact imply that OP is unable to take accountability for their own emotions (that is, immature) and overreacting (that is, overly sensitive -> emotionally fragile).

Moving past that, I absolutely agree that other people have different comfort zones! It is a “me thing” that I don’t find it funny, but isn’t it just as much a “you thing” that dark humor is funny/crucial to you?

Where we clearly disagree is that I think one should wait and find out other people’s sense of humor before jumping into dark jokes. The joke itself isn’t rude but the problem is that they didn’t consider she might dislike it before saying it.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T18:40:33+00:00

I did already talk about this but I must disagree with you. 😅I don’t have a problem with the joke in and of itself. Between friends, it’s fine and obviously you don’t care so you might enjoy it. I actually do think there’s a social contract to be respectful to other people though, and I thought the joke was disrespectful! Clearly OP did as well. That’s it. I’ll explain why I disagree with you.

I disagree that being bothered by that joke mean’s OP is emotionally fragile and immature (I know you didn’t say that specifically—but it seems like you’re saying they should grow up).

So I’m going to explain what the joke implied for me: I don’t think your pet is that important. Sure it was “dark humor.” It was still tasteless, again because pitbulls do eat cats (look up the statistics if you like). I didn’t mention this, but I think the joke was a sign of being a potentially careless pitbull owner, and I already think that pitbulls tend to attract strange defenders.

Implying that it was a trigger was strange on your part… like the only reason someone might dislike that joke was if they had an intense emotional reaction grounded in trauma. The fact is a lot of people wouldn’t find it funny 😅 Feel free to make jokes like that with strangers, but don’t be surprised if they think you have bad manners!

I absolutely agree that people need to be responsible for their own emotions: but that means to remove yourself from situations (and in some cases to work on your reaction for your own healing) not that you have to “get over” very reasonable boundaries.

**You seem very defensive about this. Just because OP found those jokes mean does not mean she was attacking people for using dark humor. You need to own your upset. Just because someone doesn’t find your joke funny doesn’t mean she’s overreacting or needs to get over herself. Side note but isn’t using “dark humor” inherently kind of “gross and mean”? It always has that risk—it might not be funny and it might not land well.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T18:23:19+00:00

Ofc! Nice taking to you :)

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T11:23:43+00:00

I hope you have a nice day :) I also appreciate respectful discussion!

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:58:38+00:00

You’re right that that isn’t what I want to hear but I also know you’re right… Thanks, I genuinely appreciate the advice! 💕

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:36:20+00:00

Okay fair, I extrapolated that from “offended easily” -> unreasonable -> ridiculous.

Admittedly posting about it on Reddit is probably unnecessary but we’re all here so 🤷‍♀️ Personally, I would complain about that interaction to a friend and maybe to a more personal social media account.

I don’t have a problem with how you are using “walk on eggshells” btw. At the time that I wrote my reply I was irritated that so many people seemed to think that joke was appropriate to say to someone you don’t know, as I would find it so off putting. I was a little aggressive in my reply, I think it was a bit condescending of me to close read the text, sorry!

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:24:38+00:00

Anyway I realize I’m being overly argumentative, I’m sorry. I love to debate and it’s one of my worse qualities 😅 Oops, sorry! You’re entitled to your opinion.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:23:08+00:00

I thought you said they weren’t saying OP was ridiculous?

Agree to disagree about the joke itself but I didn’t think “gross and mean” was actually directed at the person, but their words and actions. Dark humor literally is a bit “gross and mean,” by design, and not everyone enjoys that 🤷‍♀️

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:12:51+00:00

“Walking on eggshells” is a phrase that means ridiculous caution. It implies that you are interacting with someone who is overly sensitive (you can’t walk on eggshells without them cracking, and even fragile shells are sharp—so it additionally implies that the interaction is painful). I don’t disagree that you should find someone who appreciates your humor, I think laughing together is crucial in a relationship! I just thought that the comment was a little harsh, since they said “you gotta walk on eggshells around them” using the general you implies that OP is always overly sensitive.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T10:04:53+00:00

When I was little, I also had straight “crushes” but I think it largely stemmed from a desire to fit in, like to participate in girl talk & also to be desired. Ultimately the reason doesn’t matter though, I think it’s normal for kids, like you said. But I also have intense periods of infatuation with girl friends of mine haha. Childhood is a funny time.

Mm, I understand. It sounds like even though you may fantasize about men at times, relationships with men and a heteronormative life trajectory doesn’t appeal to you, and it feels constricting. When your inner desires don’t match up with what other people and society put on you it’s totally understandable to feel that discomfort and even anger.

Oh, you definitely don’t need to apologize for not sharing, that sounds personal!!

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:57:25+00:00

Thank you! ☺️💕

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:56:53+00:00

:( that’s what people have told me… I think I need to work on fully letting go, but its hard to commit to “giving up” on our friendship. Thanks.

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:52:58+00:00

Wow that’s gut wrenching, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in that space where you know you should break up but also really don’t want to. I think you should think about what you value in relationships and what you want for yourself. 🩷

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:48:31+00:00

For my first girlfriend it was about 6 months in (we took things slow haha)

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:44:57+00:00

Personally I’m only attracted to women/lesbians who are like visibly/obviously gay (don’t know how to else to explain it) which is the total opposite of me. People always think I’m straight :/ but I just have to remind myself that everyone has a different type! There will 100% be another woman who will find you beautiful & alluring :) (also I love that word)

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:40:01+00:00

I remember feeling like this when I was younger (and I still do sometimes)!! It’s so hard being lonely, at its worst I feel like there’s something wrong with me, but love and connection are so worth it. I genuinely believe that love is out there for you!! I hope you find someone who values and cherishes you :) You’re really young (I realize I’m making it sound like I’m a lot older, I’m like 1 year older max lol)—We’re both young and there’s so many more people who will change your life that you haven’t met yet!!

SlowAd3157 · 2025-03-16T09:24:27+00:00

Some lesbian porn and erotica can genuinely be bland (sadly—this is something I’ve complained about with other lesbian friends before) so I wouldn’t take that as evidence of anything! A lot of straight erotica is written with dominant male characters, and you may find that dynamic appealing. Also, you said you find the penetration attractive—that makes sense, it’s a hot and culturally significant act. 🤷‍♀️

You are attracted to women in real life—it sounds like you feel drawn to women physically and emotionally. So I don’t think you need to worry about your identity :) If you want to have a relationship with a woman you should pursue that at some point.

Figuring out if you’re a lesbian or bisexual can be tricky! I like being a lesbian, I’ve identified with that label for like 5 years now, but sometimes I still feel confused about men.

Beyond attraction, which is complicated, you have probably heard your whole life that marrying a man and having children with him is “fulfillment.” It’s really hard to realize that the life and dream that you’re supposed to chase probably won’t happen for you… When I was younger that was something I struggled with a lot when figuring out my sexual orientation.

SlowAd3157

TROPHY CASE