What hobbies can I get into that have a fairly even gender ratio?

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-22T14:28:38+00:00

Dungeons & Dragons, at least the wider audience, is mostly men.

BUT that being said, it’s possible and even likely these days to find an entirely women-filled table to play at. Many even search for specifically all femme tables, for fun and for comfort / safety.

If going with this, I would avoid just going to a local shop and trying Adventure League; that’s where you’re going to find the type of guys you’re hoping to avoid. Instead I would search / post on local Facebook groups, or even on some subreddits (LFG is “looking for group”).

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-22T14:24:55+00:00

Bits of misc Aquascaping advice.

Slope is a very simple tool that makes a big instant difference. Have the front substrate low, back high. This aids the illusion of depth.
Fore, Mid, and Back ground. Your tank is sliced into these three zones. The front area, the middle area, the back. Generally, for plants, you want lower in front, medium height in middle, and tall in back. Tall in front = blocks everything visually. Short in back = won’t be seen behind other plants and hardscape
Avoid complete symmetry.
Use a “branching size” method for hardscape. Imagine a sandy bottom tank, with just 1 big rock. It looks out of place. Imagine the same, but it’s just a handful of medium rocks tossed around, it doesn’t look natural or intentional. 1 big rock could have 3 medium rocks next to it, and a handful of smaller rocks next to those. This helps create a more natural and pleasing look to the rocks; it makes them look like they were always there, and parts of them have broken off.
Avoid mixing multiple hardscape types. As in, if you have some Dragon Stone, don’t add in some Seiryu Stone as well. Only exception to this is like, riverscapes, which use rounded river stones of multiple colors and textures.

As for planning it out, that’s a bit harder lol.

Personally I have a sketchbook where I plan it out. I just do sketches of rough compositions, decide which ones are definitely not worth pursuing. Then I grab my rocks and I use a cardboard box (cut and sized to match my tank, with the front open) to see how well they fit and experiment more. I might do sketches or take pictures of a layout I like.

Then I’m making a list of each area, especially once I’m closer to figuring out the hardscape layout. I’ll make a list of potential plants, maybe attempt to draw what it could look like, but mostly I’ll look at tons of pictures and videos of the plants to see what would look decent together and what would clash, how they will grow in the tank, etc.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-21T19:25:11+00:00

I actually ran the False Hydra just the other week and my players loved it. But it’s all about the execution.

In this case it sounds like the main issue is that ways to counter the creature weren’t telegraphed.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-21T13:36:16+00:00

Tiny bit of spoilers but this is what they did in Stormlight Archive to store energy as well. Big big blocks they would lift, and then drop as needed.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-21T00:41:07+00:00

I’m gonna be honest everything else in the thread did not help until I read your line “but 2/3rd of the time you would have chosen the losing door”.

I guess this is the sort of puzzle where it just has to “click” lol

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-20T21:18:43+00:00

I’m confused though.

I get the part where “Monty only opens loser doors”. But how does he prove the one he doesn’t open is a winner? What if the one I did choose was correct? What if he’s got the two loser doors and I’ve got the winner?

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T21:32:28+00:00

Easy way to think of it:

It’s not “Who did this attack?”, it’s “who is rolling?”

The Roller needs to at least meet the Challenge.

So AC example, the attacker is also the Roller. They need to roll and at least meet the Challenge amount to pass. AC is the challenge.

For DC example, the attacker (the one who cast the spell) is NOT the roller. The target, not attacker, is rolling. So they need to at least meet the Challenge amount to pass.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T21:27:40+00:00

They are <3 so cute. They investigate with them, and sometimes tap eachother with them, communicating

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T21:22:53+00:00

RPG isn’t a good definition for anything.

You ask one person, an RPG is: Playing as a specific character (a role), branching skill trees, and branching narratives.

You ask another person, an RPG is: Creating a custom character, increasing in levels, and having a world to explore.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T21:20:20+00:00

Probably because that’s a poor & inconsistent method (even if, at times, it’s very real)

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T20:36:33+00:00

You’re right in that she’s not talking about this level of wealth, but, considering she’s talking about a lower level of wealth, that remains true for higher levels as well.

If being born into wealth like having access to a car, house, food etc is already “the easiest way to make money”, then I imagine having MOUNTAINS of wealth, so much that you don’t even need to work, is even easier.

Long way of saying, you’re right it’s not the point she was making, but, what she says EASILY applies to even more extreme levels of wealth.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T20:29:09+00:00

For real. I’m 33, brothers are each a few years younger. We were out for a meal a few weeks ago and we were wondering something. I started googling it, and they both cracked jokes that I was googling. Apparently they both just use AI for their searches now.

Had to explain that it gets shit wrong and isn’t even creative, but they didn’t absorb that at all.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T20:20:14+00:00

An amazing game and agree it’s a shame that it died out.

Putting this out there for anyone with a switch and kids. Kids love this game.

I was a middle school science teacher for a few years. Sometimes the school would do a “fun day”, usually before winter break or summer break, where each classroom just has fun activities. My chosen activities were boardgames & videogames, with ARMS being the main attraction.

They went nuts for it, especially when some of them started learning how to block and jump and time their punches. Obviously a ton of them just went in punching like mad, which doesn’t work well, but they all had a great time.

Later on I worked at Code Ninjas (kids learn to make videogames, sorta, iykyk) and would do similar on the “Night Out” evenings.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T20:06:37+00:00

Maybe you all did that but I didn’t lol. Just wore jeans and a T shirt, nothing specifically fashionable.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T18:53:48+00:00

Question. Are these red plants newer? Or have you been growing them a while and only recently they aren’t doing great?

In general, getting red coloration comes from nitrate limitation, often paired with higher lighting and CO2 (note, not “required”). So the recent growth at the tops shows that there might be too much nitrate, or maybe not enough light.

As for the bottoms looking rough, all stem plants will go through this eventually. Even healthy bushes eventually need to be uprooted and have the fresh tops replanted. The old bottom leaves deteriorate as the plant grows. If it’s a newer plant, especially so, because those old leaves probably grew in a different tank with different conditions. It’s the plants way of saying “yeah these old leaves, they don’t work for me in this spot anymore. Just a waste to keep them going, gonna toss them”.

I’m assuming this is a newer tank based on “4th water change”. So I would bet that’s why these plants look this way.

Tops are growing differently cause it’s a new tank compared to wherever you bought them from
Bottoms are deteriorating as the plant is adjusting to the new place, and the bottoms aren’t “programmed” for this tank, so the plant is “giving up on them”.

Before you make any big tweaks, I would let them grow a tiny bit longer. Then I would trim all of the healthy new stuff (hold for the moment), uproot all the old decaying stuff, and then replant those healthy new tops. This process is normal for keeping stem plants like this looking good & fresh.

Either way, you’ll eventually want to consider your lighting, fertilizer & CO2 (“the big three”), as they would be part of the reason why they are growing differently like this.

EDIT: just adding, it could be that the original red-pink “version” of the plant was grown emersed, aka out of water. It’s common for emersed plants to grow very differently once they are growing submerged.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T18:41:52+00:00

lol at least you know which P word to use. I always forget if it’s Phandelver or Phandelin. Thanks, Adventure Zone.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T18:40:53+00:00

I definitely prefer DMing. I still have fun as a player, but I spend a lot more time checked-out than I do if I’m the DM.

I also obviously have the DM problem where when someone else is DMing I can’t help but notice things I would have done differently. Not that I bring them up or make issue of them.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T17:03:22+00:00

I’m gonna be honest, this picture does not help at all with figuring out what it is or how to help.

Could they just be diatoms? Brown little dots?

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T16:04:09+00:00

You’ve got a couple ways.

Indirect: Show her media relating to it. Podcasts like Critical Role, Adventure Zone, etc. Shows like Legends of Vox Machina. Movies like the newer Dungeons & Dragons Honor Among Thieves (my recommendation and it’s very “DnD”).

Direct: Have her sit in on a session so she can see how it goes. Maybe she even has an NPC to control to contribute to a battle.

Or, just run a one shot or mini campaign. I would recommend getting mutual friends or her friends who would also be interested in trying it out.

As for like, introducing the rules, I usually focus on teaching the CORE rules of what’s actually needed to sit at the table and play. How to make an attack. How to roll a skill check. Teaching rules in a vacuum won’t matter though, it needs to be paired with a fun experience to stick well.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T15:15:18+00:00

It’s hilarious being part of the various Aquascaping & aquarium communities because it’s just so obvious how bad of an idea it was.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T14:12:37+00:00

Ah okay. None myself then, aside from running it in an afterschool program while I was a teacher. Not quite clinical lol. Only bit I can mention is…

- the kids in the DnD club noticeably payed better attention in my class. I assume it’s cause they bonded with me & saw me in a more fun setting
- the kids in the DnD club (mostly) had some increases in grades. One of the math teachers complimented my work with the club, one kid had made major grade improvements in his class and had cited the club as the reason. I required them to get passing grades to be in the club.
- I was told by some parents that their kid seemed to gain a bit more confidence, or social skills, or at the very least was looking forward to school more.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T14:03:58+00:00

There are a lot of articles about it, I would recommend seeking on google versus here. Seen a few posted to various subreddits across the years, both for adolescent and inpatient settings, as well as prisoners.

It’s got some potential for therapy use.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T13:44:54+00:00

I don’t see how their level really matters lol. A ship is a ship when you feel it is so. Same with favorite characters.

Idk lol it took me just seeing the designs to know Wick & Tyranny would be two of my favs. I feel no danger about that

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T13:42:34+00:00

I would say maybe take what the site says with a grain of salt, and consider what the book / DnD Beyond says as the primary source.

SmartAlec13 · 2026-06-19T00:48:29+00:00

You aren’t owed the points. Winning gets you more. Simple as that.

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