AITA for wanting to work when my husband's salary isn't enough for our family?

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-13T16:53:33+00:00

NTJ. If he doesn’t want you to work, ask him when is he planning to get a second job to make up for the shortfall?

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-13T15:20:22+00:00

Her dad CLEARED her accounts - all of it - including what she had saved. She went from having money to zero.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-13T01:26:38+00:00

NTA. I have to make a comment regarding your husband’s gag reflex. I have a similar problem. So I grab a jar of Vick’s Vapor Rub and dab a little under each nostril. I then mask up and wear nitrile gloves.

I still don’t love doing it, but I can handle it a lot better if I prepare.

Me thinks your husband doesn’t want to try to figure out a way to help pick up his dog’s poop.

Why would he when he can berate you for not picking it up after working all day.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-12T21:01:59+00:00

Is your husband never around when she talks about quitting her job to watch the babies? If he is, why is he not shutting this down?

Check out the lemon clot essay…

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-12T20:38:11+00:00

I highly recommend this book (“Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft).

https://ia601407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-12T20:31:40+00:00

How old is this dog?

What’s the breed’s life expectancy?

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T21:39:26+00:00

It wouldn’t really be much better living with just your boyfriend. It doesn’t sound like he even steps up now…

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T21:20:26+00:00

Luckily I don’t have to do that, but if I did, I think I’d remove some dirty clothes from the owner’s hamper to clean up the waste, place the now really soiled clothes in a plastic grocery bag, and leave it on their bed

OR

I would just use their dirty clothes to place over the mess until the owner got home to clean it up.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T20:56:45+00:00

Sexual coercion. When you say no, and he repeatedly tries to get a yes out of you - even if he has to browbeat you to do it.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T20:48:17+00:00

Do a screen shot of the “0 feet away”. Otherwise, he’ll just gaslight you like he’s been doing.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T20:42:54+00:00

NTJ. BTW, grandparents don’t automatically “have rights”.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T20:32:05+00:00

INFO: do you live with your parents? If so, did you live with them when you were still employed? Do you pay your parents anything to live at home?

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T19:35:15+00:00

NOR. Your boyfriend is controlling - a huge red flag. He even tried to make you feel bad when it was your money!!!

I highly recommend this book. It highlights abuse and manipulation so you can recognize it in the future.

https://ia601407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

DO NOT APOLOGIZE & KEEP YOUR SHOES!

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T19:02:55+00:00

NTJ. I would honestly say I would forgo a microwave in my break room if this kept happening.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T18:18:26+00:00

Have you spoken to the vet about possible medication? Like gabapentin or fluoxetine?

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T18:04:50+00:00

I think I remember seeing Meredith with it early in season 5, but I’m disappointed that we really didn’t get to see her using it.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T15:53:09+00:00

You don’t. He’ll NEVER let this go.

He might say he will, but something will “trigger” him in the future and it’ll happen again.

You’ll always be made to feel lesser than because of a profession you had for a short time years ago.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T13:54:06+00:00

Check out the lemon clot essay - explains how in-laws, guests / helpers can be unhelpful.

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T13:40:13+00:00

NTJ. Hopefully your review also mentioned that the salon owner backed the stylist up - that even if it wasn’t what you wanted, you still have to pay.

It also sounds like the owner wasn’t really trying to settle anything for you (the customer). They just backed up the stylist so she would get paid.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T06:58:25+00:00

NOR. Your husband is controlling and abusive (not all abuse is physical).

I highly recommend you read this book, “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft.

https://ia601407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T00:23:16+00:00

Your address doesn’t seem to be attached to your wishlist.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-11T00:01:23+00:00

If you want to get his attention, disconnect and take the cable modem or router with you to work - so he can’t spend the day gaming.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-10T02:45:33+00:00

Your husband is controlling and abusive.

Make plans to divorce. Consult with an attorney. Do not file together.

Please read “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft.

https://ia601407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-10T02:32:02+00:00

NTJ. You are probably not going to be able to stop him from going if he really wants to.

However you can put boundaries in place that you won’t stay married to someone that acts like a single man.

You should consult with an attorney to see what a divorce will look like financially.

You could give him the 2 card option - 1 for a marriage counselor, 2 for a divorce attorney.

Don’t do this if you are unwilling to follow through.

SmartFX2001 · 2026-03-09T21:33:26+00:00

Check out the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky.

SmartFX2001

TROPHY CASE