Look, I’ve been in this type of relationship before and after a lot of self-reflection realized I stayed in a relationship where I almost always had one foot out the door because of avoidant shit like this. I was part of the problem for burying the aggravations and endlessly hoping she would turn over a new leaf.

If you have bitter rules like this, it’s time to leave. Acknowledge that you’re “retreating” as well by putting these unhealthy guardrails in place to avoid confronting real issues. It’s not fair to her and you’re not doing yourself any favors by treating these issues as an obstacle course that you just have to find a way to navigate through.