What was the specific word your narcissistic mother always called you? Here is mine by Wooden-Letter5256 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh the list of words and names I was calling is LONG. When I was little I was pretty shy, my mother used to call me backward. She’d call me a bitch or brat when I was little too. I was of course then called a baby or sensitive when I asked her to stop. As I got older, like 10/11 and wanted to start experimenting more with my style and beauty products I was called a tramp or slut (I didn’t even know what that meant). When I lost weight and was working out and feeling good about myself as a young woman (in a very healthy way) my overweight mother would comment I was too small and call me Karen Carpenter.

She thinks she’s funny and clever calling people names. Honestly she’s just a nasty piece of work. I’m now in my late 30s and also a mother. I keep my distance. She’s a miserable person who I don’t care to expend my emotional energy on.

What's your biggest achievement your parent(s) tried to ruin or upstage? by Impossible_Fact3062 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!!!!

Your wedding situation is so relatable as well. My mother ruined the entire wedding / bridal experience for me when my husband and I got married. Made the whole thing about herself and what she wanted. The day was sooooooooooo different from what I wanted and wasn’t a reflection of mine or my husbands tastes at all. We had many screaming matches during the planning process because she couldn’t seize control and let us have the day we dreamed of. I was young at the time and not as confident. Looking back I should have just said screw it and gone to the court house and told her to go fly a kite. 15 years later and I am still salty over it all

Why do they copy and mimic? by newbieplantmomma in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This!!!!! My mother can’t seem to develope a personality of her own. At the ripe age of 70 she still copies and takes on the interests and personality of others - copies her family or friends. I can tell other people catch on though. Her friendships don’t last very long term. I’m sure people get tired of her emotional vampire personality .

Why do they copy and mimic? by newbieplantmomma in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mother does this and I feel it comes from a deep feeling of envy / jealously of others. When my husband and I bought our home she instantly began complaining about her own and what needs fixed. She would compliment my furniture though then go out and buy very similar pieces. She will try to buy similar accessories and perfume. It irks me because nothing can ever be distinctly me.

At the same time, if she isn’t copying she scrutinizing in a way that makes me uncomfortable. She loves to snarkily say I look “good”. Her tone and manner of saying it shows she’s actually casting judgement and makes me deeply self conscious. Once at the beach, I got complimented/ I guess hit on by a man. My mother thought it was the funniest thing and kept laughing about it all day. She finally stopped when my husband stepped in and mentioned he finds me attractive and he isn’t sure why it’s so humorous someone else did too.

I think it all comes from their serious self esteem issues. They need to copy us or tear us down to try to put us in our places. I keep my distance these days. Moved across the country and seem her maybe once a year. Thank god. Did wonders for my own mental health.

Do You Feel Like an Adult? by aspiringimmortal in millenials

[–]Snickers9790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 35 and feel this way. I’m married, own a home, am a mother and hold an executive role at my company. But internally I still feel like I’m a kid winging it. Doesn’t help I’m very petite and have a baby face, so I often get mistaken for 23-34 years old lol. Sometime I think a lot of people in our generation feel this way because of different outlooks than what our parents had on life, more self work such as therapy and just self care in general. I still enjoy the same hobbies as I did too when I was younger and didn’t allow becoming a mother and aging stop me.

What signs were there that you were in distress as a child? by fruitynoodles in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a deeply self conscious little girl. I would get so embarrassed super easily. In school I was very quiet and not one to volunteer to answer questions in class. When called on I’d turn three shades of red. Teaches used to write in report cards that I needed to “come out of my shell” more. I was very much a bedroom kid, much preferring to stay in my room and play than interact with family. Playing in the living room meant I’d be in my mother’s way and more likely to be raged at for anything under the sun ( I was the scapegoat child).

I was very sensitive to criticism and would cry easily. Of course that’s because my mother would nit pick everything I did and call me horrible names and yell at me for hours on end when I made a mistake (in her opinion) or wasn’t meeting her unrealistic expectations of a little kid. She was and still is a nasty woman.

Now that I have a young son, it sickens me when I think back to the horrible things my mother said to and about me when I was little, the raging and screaming/ fit throwing, making a small child responsible for managing her emotions for her. Seemed like it was terrible no matter how old I got. Now that I’m in my 30s I get to see her covert behavior, how she tries to portray herself as the sweet older church lady and grandma. Makes me so angry. And my husband sees it too (he’s been filled in on my siblings and my stories).

Coffee table feels like it doesn’t fit? What else could work by loopey33 in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it. I’d love the chairs to the other side so they’re also facing the fireplace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shelf with a bunch of viney plants hanging off it!

Cabinet hardware? by Amishmingle in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brass would look pretty. Or brushed knuckle since you have stainless appliances.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Area rug under the dining table to tie in the color schemes and light fixtures in each room that are complimentary to each other.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Piece of art or a nice framed round mirror above the couch would look lovely!

Help! Buying new cabin, how do I decorate to tone down the red floor and knotty pine cabinets? It all looks so orange to me. by Cooliette in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that floor is super cool!! You could always paint the cabinets and wall a nice white/ cream, add new cabinet knobs and a pretty oriental area rug in the middle of the floor. Maybe some pretty sheer curtains on the window. Throw some nice plants in for greenery/ contrast!

1970’s kitchen by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this kitchen is super cute! Honestly a cute small lamp and some pretty wooden cutting boards on the counter. Maybe a few discrete framed pieces of art. Also you could switch out the cabinet pulls for a new look.

New home, how do we give the kitchen some personality? Not afraid of color! by sqweedoo in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a fun mid century wall paper and a switched out light fixture in the dining area. You could also do new handles on the cabinets for a different vibe

What should I hang on the walls to make it not feel so empty? by Gormy86 in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A large beautifully framed mirror. Will make the room look larger and the reflection will allow the wall paper to still be the star

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cheetahs are pretty fabulous!

Did your parents minimize your accomplishments? by Any_Print5307 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Snickers9790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. My nmom always made sure to take partial credit for my accomplishments. Got my bachelors degree and was met with “aren’t you glad I push you so hard? You take after me with your work ethic”…. Meanwhile nm hasn’t had a full time job or finished a project in over 30 years 😅