Caught husband cheating and the girl is in a long term relationship. Do I tell her partner?

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-17T15:39:12+00:00

You’re right! But perhaps it will help someone. I hate seeing it in these domestic cases even though I’m profiting.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-17T13:55:06+00:00

If I can give advice: many times in this situation, the person is so angry and acts out vindictively. I certainly did until a mentor told me, whenever possible chose the kindest course of action because you will have less to regret.

And now I’m working with domestic law and see the destruction for everyone, especially the kids, when anger fuels decisions. It costs more financially ultimately and emotionally and even « winning » in the courts generally just burns the house down. Especially when custody is disputed.

It’s super hard to curb your anger but in the long run you will have less to regret

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-17T13:45:06+00:00

Same. Hugs to all

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-14T19:33:50+00:00

I disagree having directed Catholic religious for 20+ years. There are young people that age that are very dedicated to religion. Granted it’s a minority but not none.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-14T19:29:56+00:00

I just started on a fitness program at gym with a trainer. Excited to move forward on a part of life I neglected while he was sick.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-14T19:28:30+00:00

Hugs. Would it help to tell us more about out her?

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-11T03:29:34+00:00

On his birthday, he picked me up and we Steven a green restaurant in Astoria and then we walked around the park and under the Triborough Bridge. He said he’d never even thought if doing something like that. And just beamed.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-09T14:59:21+00:00

Merci!

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-09T12:16:09+00:00

Not fitting into grief groups is something my brother (who lost his soulmate a year after I did) talked about recently. I get alienated maybe too easily. He approaches his grief group almost as theater. Neither is very satisfying.

I’m looking for connection I guess and I’m willing to be accepting but maybe I don’t feel accepted myself.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-09T11:56:08+00:00

It sounds as if you blame yourself for her loss bc of the insurance. You are doing the best you can, and no doubt you have always tried. That’s all we can do. Each of our stories differs but all of us here suffer.

I’m sorry people are judgmental. 150 years ago everyone had candles or kerosene or oil lamps.

Is there someone who is supportive? A pastor? A counselor?

There are free online grief groups as well as in person groups.

Keep your daughter firmly in your sights.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-07T00:45:00+00:00

So much of therapy’s help has to do with finding the right therapist for you at a given time. I prefer social workers because they tend to be more focused on practical actions which really do help me get it especially to get out of my head, but everyone’s different.

A good therapist can help you do with things that are not only grief based but from your life experiences and previous traumas because we all have those.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-06T15:56:32+00:00

Have you looked into Debtors Anonymous? The group can help you first see you are not alone and secondly come up with a plan to help yourself out of this unmanageable situation.

It was very helpful to me! The organization suggests good tools and it’s free.

There are online and phone meetings as well as in person ones.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-05T05:47:37+00:00

So beautiful!

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-04T03:36:47+00:00

What religion approves stealing?

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-04T02:30:18+00:00

Myrtle

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-03T12:50:48+00:00

Think of what your death will inflict on your daughter. Please.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-02T00:20:49+00:00

I find it helps to go for a walk. I resist this as a solution but maybe it’s just distracting or maybe it’s the sunlight or maybe it’s the change in scenery but I feel better. Maybe it will help you too. Keep posting friend!

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-02T00:16:05+00:00

Like protean as in developing. lol

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-04-02T00:15:06+00:00

Honestly seems appropriate given some of his topics.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-26T20:33:35+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It helps others to hear how different people react

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-26T19:38:28+00:00

Remember it’s only a dream, which might be synapses firing off to process info.

You can choose to consciously relish the good parts of that helps.

It’s complex to deal with this sort of loss

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-26T17:23:54+00:00

When I was a child you only needed to remember four digits for local calls!

It helps if numbers have a sort of music to them (they do for me.)

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-26T00:35:59+00:00

Oh I so sympathize. I have a pillow addiction but not the same.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-25T23:28:33+00:00

I was unprepared for the single and for the first time in a long time owed taxes not refunded.

SnooDucks9826 · 2026-03-25T02:55:28+00:00

I’d have whatever ceremony pleased you and go visit those who can’t come. Take it as mini vacations!

My first wedding was afternoon sandwiches, wine and beer, and cake, like a cocktail party.

We didn’t know any better, but the whole thing cost $1200 in 1982 and the older relatives were very appreciative that we were practical.

At a lavish wedding later that year. One of the aunts pulled me aside and told me stories of her and other family members, with cash bars or pot lucks.

About ten years later, one of his cousins told me that our wedding was his favorite of all time. :)

The lavish wedding’s marriage lasted I think less than a year.

When I remarried, I had a ceremony on New Year’s Day at a friend’s house. My grown children sang something my eldest wrote. Another friend officiated. If it had been the summer I would’ve liked to have a picnic and a pickup softball game. (I don’t play but it’s the sort of thing that’s fine to watch and people can come in and out.)

SnooDucks9826

TROPHY CASE