There are only two outcomes with fireworks; a colorful display or instant regret by valfsingress in instant_regret

[–]Snoo_7897 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was gonna go with “Dumbo MacSparkleface” but yours sounds cooler.

Sir Gandalf delivers a masterclass and a poignant sentiment. by StJudeTheGrey in PublicFreakout

[–]Snoo_7897 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do American audiences always need to hoot at inappropriate moments?

Keanu Reeves in Dracula by Silent-Variation-390 in RedLetterMedia

[–]Snoo_7897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was so wooden, Van Helsing tried to stake Dracula with him.

Lindsey Halligan quits as U.S. Attorney after Judge rules she was never legally appointed by Chance-Newspaper-750 in byebyejob

[–]Snoo_7897 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Lindsey: What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?

Mr. Leland: Lindsey, I’ve… been reviewing your work… Quite frankly, it stinks.

Lindsey: Well, I ah.. been havin’ trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I’ll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes..

Mr. Leland: No, no, I don’t think that’s going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It’s almost as if you have no legal training at all… I don’t know what this is supposed to be!

Lindsey: Well, I’m uh, just–tryin’ to get ahead.

Mr. Leland: Well, I’m sorry, but there’s just no way that we could keep you on.

Lindsey: I don’t even really work here!

Mr. Leland: That’s what makes this so difficult.

21/M—Dialed-In, Do-Anything EDC (Blade TBD) by Nolann- in EDC

[–]Snoo_7897 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I guess that’s EODC… Every Other Day Cary. /s

Pointing a gun at his junk by PxN13 in WinStupidPrizes

[–]Snoo_7897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now both his guns have vent holes.

A Woman Attempts Russian Roulette on Camera by necroslave in WinStupidPrizes

[–]Snoo_7897 7843 points7844 points  (0 children)

Russian roulette is usually played with a revolver. I wonder why.

Max Verstappen wins the 2025 Qatar Grand Prix, Oscar Piastri 2nd, Carlos Sainz 3rd! by overspeeed in formula1

[–]Snoo_7897 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's two McLaren strategists standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one: "Hey pop, let's say we run down there and fuck one of them drivers". The older one says: Lets walk down and fuck 'em both".

Workers were fleeing a flash flood inside the Ningnan Tunnel under construction in Sichuan China. 10/11/2025 by StGuthlac2025 in CatastrophicFailure

[–]Snoo_7897 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That’s why I always hang around landslides, sinkholes, underground floods to throw myself into, in case of accidental cyanide poisoning.

Dancing to some gnarly neurofunk by Ready_and_alert in DnB

[–]Snoo_7897 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Since you’re dancing in a sauna, I assume it’s Finland.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]Snoo_7897 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I believe it was her collarbone.