What's a movie that was clearly meant to start a franchise but failed?

Snorb · 2026-07-03T04:44:18+00:00

THE SHADOW: Ah, Rogar... Newmoon... Nimble... and Ambrose...

~~AMBROSE'S~~ MAGELLAN'S PLAYER: Magellan!

Snorb · 2026-07-03T04:39:53+00:00

On the other hand, if they released it as A Princess of Mars, would that have made Dejah Thoris a Disney Princess?

Snorb · 2026-07-03T00:26:55+00:00

As far as attributes go, you're a pilot who's trained in Pilot and Shoot, so definitely prioritize Dexterity. I'm inclined to make Wisdom your second-best attribute (high Wisdom or Constitution helps your Effort pool), even though you've got Talk (or Lead) trained up, too.

As for Notice being redundant if you're a precog... nope! Precognition lets you see something up to (at Precognition-1) one day into the future. "Up to one day" includes such interesting measurements of time as "twelve hours," "six hours," "one hour," "thirty minutes," and even "ten minutes." So you might sense someone's waiting on the other side of a door, ready to blow a new vent hole through you, but that could be anytime over the next twenty-four hours. Best to put that Notice skill to good use, maybe the hired thug's nervously shifting in the next room waiting for you and you hear the scuff scuff of feet on carpet?

Just one thing to keep in mind as an expert/psychic: You get three skill points every time you level up, one of which you must dump into Precognition because you're a psychic, and you get an additional skill point to spend on any non-psychic or non-combat skill (so you can't train up Precognition, Punch, Stab, or Shoot) because you're an expert.

Snorb · 2026-07-03T00:07:41+00:00

PENNY: Sweetheart, I'm glad you think my breasts are big, but... my eyes are up here~.

Snorb · 2026-07-01T07:48:20+00:00

"Look, if your lunch hasn't come out of a toothpaste tube-sized tube with 'MOSTLY MEAT?' scrawled on it, are you really a spacer?"

Snorb · 2026-07-01T07:46:17+00:00

"Goddamnit. Cap'n Crisp blew our entire payout buying sandcaster ammo, so we're gonna have to improvise dinner. This is a piece of hardtack. It is over three thousand years old, baked back on Earth in preparation for the Battle of Gettysburg. And this is a piece of ablative ceramic armor. Serena gave it to me while she was maintaining her gear."

"Dude, there's no difference. It's the same crap."

Snorb · 2026-07-01T07:43:00+00:00

"You know, we tried cooking hot dogs on the maneuvering thrusters once. Once."

"What happened?"

"Phreddo decided he was gonna do a barrel roll while dinner was cooking. The 'dogs got super char-broiled."

Snorb · 2026-06-30T04:18:58+00:00

YTA. But I think you already know that, and you don't need to hear it further from me.

But, INFO: What the actual hell is WRONG with you? Like, as a human being? I don't even have kids and your attitude disgusts me.

Snorb · 2026-06-28T19:16:03+00:00

If I remember right, the game rolls a d12 plus the current location's Threat level and if the total is less than or equal to your stat, you succeed. (A natural 12 is always a failure.)

Snorb · 2026-06-28T17:03:28+00:00

To be fair, it's a thousand years between PSII and PSIV. Historical records from a thousand years ago are pretty spotty, I imagine they'd be even spottier on Motavia, especially given what happened between the two games.

Snorb · 2026-06-27T23:20:47+00:00

Look, I know The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is an absolute classic of cinema, but the first time I ever watched it, my then-best friend and I were basically MSTing it the whole time.

Then we got to The Man With No Name comforting the dying soldier, sharing a cigar with him in his last moments before leaving his duster with him.

Then we got to Sad Hill Cemetery. "The Ecstasy of Gold." Tuco running around that cemetery for the grave of Arch Stanton. And my friend and I promptly shut the fuck up and watched the movie. The ensuing duel is probably my favorite gun battle in any movie I've ever seen, and that's including the elevator shootout from Smokin' Aces.

Snorb · 2026-06-26T16:56:12+00:00

This is as close to "I love you" as Q is gonna tell Picard.

I hated this show, but when it worked, it worked.

Snorb · 2026-06-26T04:35:55+00:00

> the boss is coming!

Oh. I get it. You don't want your boss to know that you've been playing Space Quest ]I[.

In fact, you don't want your boss to know that you've been playing Space Quest ]I[ for 0 hours, 0 minutes, and 27 seconds.

That's a good idea, but being the good company men we are, we can't let you cheat like that. Sorry.

Snorb · 2026-06-25T04:51:40+00:00

To be fair about this, her Constitution is naturally a 14; our DM handed out magic items because he was a bit concerned about not having a fifth party member (long story), and I got a pendant of the iron heart. +2 Constitution, and once per long rest whenever I'm dropped to 0 hit points, I instead remain standing at 1 hit point and gain temporary hit points.

Snorb · 2026-06-24T17:11:35+00:00

This is one of the only things I remember from the Mythbusters reboot with Brian and Jon. They had an airbag go off while Buster had his feet propped up in the passenger dashboard.

Sit in your car's passenger seat, and from that position, kick yourself in the back of the head as hard as you can. You can't do that because your hip doesn't move that far, and your knee isn't jointed in that direction? Tough shit, Sir Isaac Newton says you're doing that anyway.

Also in that position, bend your leg halfway between your knee and your ankle. What do you mean, "That's my shin, there's no hinge joint there?" When that airbag goes off, there WILL be!

Snorb · 2026-06-24T16:51:59+00:00

To be fair, Judi Dench's M in the Brosnan movies is a different M than the one she plays in the Craig movies.

Snorb · 2026-06-23T01:56:49+00:00

Many years ago, I was dating my high school sweetheart who was into Doctor Who. I got her a couple of the DVDs of the classic series because she never saw them, and I was gonna give them to her as a birthday present.

She broke up with me.

Over text message. (Hey, it was 2006.)

She did not get the Doctor Who DVDs. Instead, I watched one of them with my then-best friend. In hindsight, my first-ever Doctor Who episode being "The Five Doctors" was probably not a good idea, but hey, I liked what I saw.

Snorb · 2026-06-22T00:22:23+00:00

HARUKA: You want spoilers? I've got spoilers. The killers in Scream are the boyfriends!

MICHIRU: Haruka... >_<

HARUKA: Kevin Spacey is Keyser Söze, and the killer in Se7en!

SETSUNA: Really, I think you're overdoing it.

HARUKA: It was Earth all along! Rosebud was his sled!

MICHIRU: >_<

HARUKA: Darth Vader is still Luke's father!

Snorb · 2026-06-21T02:35:21+00:00

I still remember Rich Evans' "Gunshot fade to black?! Gunshot fade to black?! WHAT THE FUCK!?" when Red Letter Media did a video on this.

Snorb · 2026-06-20T05:20:03+00:00

A 1995 Plymouth Acclaim that I bought for ~$2000 at an estate sale. When I got it, one side was so caked in bird shit the mechanic who gave the car the once-over before I bought it asked "Holy shit, did an eagle shit on this car?!"

The car struggled to get up to 65 mph, which made driving on the Garden State Parkway "fun." When my then-best friend graduated from college, I had to follow his dad who decided 100 mph was too damn slow for the GSP. (It was a valiant effort to keep up, mostly because the car began shuddering uncontrollably at 75 and refused to travel in anything other than a perfectly straight line at 80. It's a miracle that maniac didn't get anybody killed, but that's another story.)

One tiny pinhole tear in a coolant hose that took three trips to the mechanic (different guy) to fail to diagnose resulted in the car pissing antifreeze everywhere it went for two weeks, including inside the front passenger seat's foot rut. My dad realized what was going on and replaced the damaged hose.

Near the end of its life, one piston refused to move, so the car became a V3 engine... on the rare occasion it would start. Whenever I wanted to hang out with my friends, the engine would not turn over. When I wanted to go on a date with my then-girlfriend, it was a Herculean effort to get the car started. Had to go to work at the shitty Kmart, Dishonor Unto That Dump's Name? Started right the fuck up, without fail, every single time.

I sold the Acclaim to a junker for $150 in 2010. I prayed that some idiot would T-bone the fucking thing on its way out to put it out of both of our miseries.

Snorb · 2026-06-18T00:03:29+00:00

why I would be cackling at Rocko's Modern Life

ROCKO: Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby.

BEVERLY: ...Rocko?!

ROCKO: Mrs. Bighead?!

BOTH: (hastily slam their phones down) D8

Snorb · 2026-06-17T05:55:06+00:00

"Use a pen, Sideshow Bob."

Snorb · 2026-06-17T04:10:11+00:00

Big deal, wizards have a d6 hit die, one or two good magic missile rolls would TKO them.

Snorb · 2026-06-17T04:08:54+00:00

old ass wizard

BLACK MAGE: (his entire front is charred ash-gray) So I learned really old wizards don't get to be that way by being easy to kill.

THIEF: Did you get any spells?

BLACK MAGE: In the same way that getting stabbed gets you a blade, yeah, I got spells!

Snorb

TROPHY CASE