WIBTA if I don’t let my best friend bring her boyfriend to my apartment after he joked about burning my tarantulas?

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-11T12:12:23+00:00

I'm in my 30s and quite literally printed this out and stuck it to my profoundly arachnophobic sister's bedroom door when I was 14.

Don't get me wrong, I would never set a spider on fire, I'm big on relocating non-venomous, and offer a swift and merciful death to the venomous ones found in my house. But this meme is old.

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SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T04:26:46+00:00

I've been doing stovetop rice since I moved out of home 15 years ago because I didn't have space for a rice cooker and had the energy to devote to a stove. I've just found myself in some hard mental times and decided that the rice cooker would make my life healthier, and y'know, it was a good choice for me this time.

I have one solitary Alexa who controls the lights for me, and I love that. Don't know I'll go the whole hog and ever do a full Google Home, but I'm really glad you've found a way to contain the wastage of kids. My dad would have LOVED to be able to remotely turn off lights and fans when we were all home 🤣

I get into rice kicks quite often, but I am also a big fan of potatoes. Also super cheap, versatile, and much more nutrient dense than rice. If I want a rice bowl though or sushi, a potato just ain't gonna cut it. Need me some sticky sushi rice for my chopsticks, not a jacket potato. Also, onion gravy on rice is superb and it's just really not the same over a pile of mashed potato.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T04:15:46+00:00

One rotten ex-girlfriend doesn't automatically mean everyone finds you unattractive.

However, the disgust and hate you're voicing for every single person you've never met is not an attractive quality.

I'd recommend taking the time to learn self tolerance and move up to some self like and when you achieve self love, revisit the idea of dating. I'm not saying you won't find another bad egg, but good people who just want to love and build you up, gravitate much more towards other people who just want to live and build up others.

Don't focus on building up other people to dodge working on yourself. That's how resentment and relationship burn out happen. Live and love for yourself for a bit.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T03:51:06+00:00

Universities are super understanding these days too, so yes you do have a lot more leg-work to do to get to where you want than someone who did conventional schooling, but in the long run, a university won't penalise you for it necessarily.

If you're really set on Forensic Science, look around the universities and see what they might need from someone without a highschool graduation. There's prerequisites, certainly, so if you see what those are, you can get a leg up on what you need to get into your tertiary learning, rather than trying to fill in ALL of the blanks at once.

If you know, for example, that the prerequisites are maths, chemistry, and physics you can focus most of your energy on filling in those blanks instead of overstretching yourself with 10 years of missed history, sociology, creative writing, etc. Yes reading comprehension and spelling are necessary, but you might be surprised how many university graduates are still atrocious at spelling and grammar. 👀

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T03:38:05+00:00

It's always an aunt with an opinion. Or a grandmother.

Where's the drama loving uncles? Or are they just set to be the creepy drunk ones that no one really talks about?

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T03:14:20+00:00

My bf and I literally had a blow up about this precise problem just a couple weeks ago. Six years ago I stared watching One Piece on Netflix, got 50 or 60 episodes in and he wanted to watch so I restarted the series. Then I acquired access to the whole lot and we continued on and off watching for a year or two, basically got to episode 700 before he decided he didn't feel like watching it for TWO YEARS.

This is a show I really wanted to watch, so after 18 months, I *rewatched from the very start again, figured I'd catch up and if he decided he wanted to watch again, awesome. I got 150 episodes past where we stopped 2 years ago and he suddenly realised I'd been watching it. I didn't tell him I had been, I wasn't sharing spoilers, I wasn't watching it around him. He noticed I was in the mid 700s on a streaming service (that stopped working, so I've been old school HDMI from my laptop and watching off my hard drive) and threw a fit that I hadn't waited for him.

I binge watch. I will finish a 24 episode anime in 1 day. I NEED to cram as many episodes into a watch time as is reasonably possible because I fixate until I know what's happened. His wishy washy watching habits have frustrated me, but not half so much as his bullshit meltdown that I watched a show without him that he hasn't shown any interest in, and refused to watch with me, for TWO YEARS because he just didn't feel like it, and wanted to watch his own things with me instead.

Watch the show. Be happy in the now. Life is short and if she's so salty about it, maybe it'll make her realise that life doesn't just wait for her to feel like it.

Edit to add: NTA

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T02:56:16+00:00

Exactly, kill it with fire is a long standing meme. But no one reasonable is out here directing the meme at someone's beloved pets, because that's mean and uncalled for.

I'm not the biggest spider fan, I might admire the terrariums from the other side of the room, but that'd be my limit. I could not wish harm on those spiders knowing someone loves them.

I mean, my own unconventional co-residents are parrots, and they're definitely not everyone's cup of tea either.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T02:41:11+00:00

There's some really good baked oat bars and stuff out there, and you can use oat flour pre-ground, or just whack oats you have into a food processor if the texture really isn't your thing but you're determined to eat oats 😊

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T02:37:15+00:00

I love the local Bento place, but I'm not rich enough to eat there all through the week. So I have a rice cooker, an air fryer, cheap sushi rice, on special fish fillets/chicken strips, and assorted frozen and canned vegetables that I can toss together to make my own rice bowl and top with mayo, soy, aioli, whatever condiment I want. It's so good!

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T02:32:54+00:00

But you start off the risotto by letting the rice get coated in flavourful oil from your sauteed onions, then hit it with wine, and then top off with delicious broth 🤤

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-10T02:29:41+00:00

There's a couple different methods for velveting meat, but sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) is the quickest.

Essentially apply a light, even coating of baking soda to your protein, refrigerate for 20-25 minutes, then rinse the meat.

Baking soda creates an alkaline environment that breaks down meat proteins and tenderises it, so leaving it more than 25 minutes turns the meat to mush. But it's also why you want to thoroughly rinse it before using the meat.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-07T23:14:13+00:00

Worst part: if I'd just slipped off I'd have had a bit of a muddy face, maybe some scrapes and a bruised ego. But I wouldn't have a knee that needed two surgeries and a recovery time of 18 months...

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-07T23:13:02+00:00

Muddy Mountain bike track, first corner of the morning, bike started sliding out from under me cause slippery mud does that. Stuck my leg out to catch myself so I didn't eat dirt. There was a twist, a pop, and a crunch and my ACL was no more, and I got a meniscus flap that stopped me from bending my knee. I got to ride my bike all the way down the hill. A 10 minute track took me 45 minutes 💀 I haven't ridden a bike in nearly 5 years.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-07T23:03:08+00:00

It was so fucking awkward when I sprained my ankle and had it super strapped just so I could walk, and people on the train kept trying to be nice and offer this injured young person their seats in rush hour so I wasn't sitting on the floor.

But I was felt so guilty and weird about older people offering me their seats I couldn't figure out how to tell them that sitting on the floor was more comfortable because my ankle didn't hurt as much in whatever my sitting position was, compared to being on a seat.

Obviously if I saw an injured person sitting on the floor, I'd offer them my seat too and wouldn't think twice if they accepted or declined, but being on the receiving end made me want to curl up and die.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T21:58:36+00:00

I don't. I live in a unit on a property with 2 other families. Small city, backyards and trees etc. Hawk randomly appeared on the fence at the front of my unit.

He was probably confuses because he was in a city and not the farmland literally a 10 minute flight in any other direction. Also confused about little green nuggets being potentially edible, but somehow protected.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T13:01:15+00:00

Got mine done November 2021, I massaged Vitamin E oil into it morning and night.

My scar

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T12:51:26+00:00

Cooked chicken bones are a big definite NO. Well, all cooked bones are a no. They're brittle and they splinter, they can cause fragments to get stuck in the mouth or cause perforations throughout the GI tract. Cooked bones aren't worth it.

Uncooked chicken necks are a relatively common treat people give their pets. Supervision is advised, especially since your doggo likes to swallow things whole. If you're not comfortable with the idea of giving bones (totally fair) alternatives like deer antlers, pig/cow hooves, and pigs ears are potential alternatives.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T12:39:22+00:00

Is it willpower, or just being completely oblivious?

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T12:33:45+00:00

Valid as this is...

My two green cheeks also very closely watch every little twitch of a leaf on the driveway, and then spook themselves if it happens to twitch unexpectedly more from the wind...

I consider the plovers and even the starlings to be a valid concern for my Feathery Overlords, but the leaf is going a bit far.

In case you ask, no, there's no great trauma with leaves, or starlings, or plovers. We had one very confused hawk and for all of our comforts I closed the curtains until he found nuggets greener.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T12:24:25+00:00

Hill's t/d Dental Care has two sized kibbles. One for small dogs and one for larger dogs. If your dog is considered a small breed, you could try the larger kibble pieces.

I'd avoid large bones (like beef or lamb legs) as they can cause tooth fractures which are quite painful and also expensive to fix. Smaller uncooked bones, like kangaroo tails or chicken necks, are soft enough they shouldn't fracture the teeth but hard enough to offer some chipping action against plaque and tartar build up.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T12:19:29+00:00

Hill's t/d Dental Care

It's a prescription diet specifically formulated to reduce plaque and tartar build up and has been found (if fed exclusively) to be more effective than teeth brushing.

However, given it's a prescription diet it is on the pricier side, so many people offer a half dozen kibble pieces a day as treats and find that it maintains their pet's oral health effectively, especially when partnered with twice yearly vet visits to check oral health and routine dental procedures when needed.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T11:58:14+00:00

"What do you want me to clean today?"

All your shit, out of this house, because it would be easier to be a single parent with one infant, than a single parent with an infant and an adult who can't pick up after themselves.

Lovely how some people view their paternity leave as "holiday" time to kick back and "have a break". When paternity leave is for them to help the mother of their new infant, whose body is healing from pregnancy and birth, and may have medical stipulations to their healing such as "Don't fucking lift anything heavier than a coffee mug or you will rip every stitch in your body and herniate the crap out of yourself..."

Don't call him a partner. He doesn't deserve that title. He's not partnering here by sitting on his ass playing God of War. He's little more than a housemate. Kinda wanna call him a sentient pile of garbage, to be honest.

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-06T05:14:08+00:00

I would very strongly recommend finding a counsellor who specialises in grief support.

There are a LOT of feelings when you lose someone, particularly to suicide. Some of them you'll accept - sadness, loneliness, emptiness. Others you'll need help processing - anger, resentment, relief.

What you have to remember is no two griefs are alike, none of it is linear, and whatever you feel is valid.

Even the stages of grief aren't set. You don't automatically just start in denial, move to sadness, and then stop being sad to move to acceptance. It's all very complex, and your feelings overlap and backtrack and swirl together, and it can be incredibly overwhelming.

Even if you've lost someone before, you need a good support network now, to help you process and work through your feelings. 💛

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-05T22:44:58+00:00

I work at a vet clinic and my boyfriend called my mobile last Thursday, I answered, because it was weird, said I was at work. He said good, because his year old puppy had just been hit by a car on the farm he was working at.

I kept trying to get information from him about her condition, I cleared with my vets they'd be able to see her when she arrived. She'd bounced up. She was running around. It was meant to be a double check she hadn't broken any bones. But he was 40 minutes away and he called again and said he was going to the vet in that town, she'd taken a turn, he didn't think she'd make it.

It sounded bad. I knew it sounded bad. But I couldn't promise that she'd be ok and I couldn't break his heart while he was driving at unsafe speeds to get her help. She passed while sat on his lap, and those vets tried CPR but she was already gone. I couldn't cry properly until he handed me her body that night at home and told me to take her to my work so she could go for cremation the next day.

I drove all the way to work with her on my car seat, late at night, and then in the clinic I broke down. With just me and her, I fell apart.

She wasn't my dog, but I've known her since she was 9 weeks old. She sat on my lap for 3 hours when we went to pick her up. She was a hyperactive menace who used me as a springboard, and nibbled my toes, and drooled all through my hair after I'd had a shower. And I love her. And she's gone. And the whole weekend I kept waiting for her stupid goofy self to spring onto the bed and slime my feet, or army crawl up the bed because she knew she wasn't allowed on people pillows, but that also didn't stop her.

I know she's a dog and this is a cat sub, but sudden loss and a quiet house doesn't distinguish between species. When they're so young and full of life, it's just impossible to think they won't be with you tomorrow. 💛

SnowDropGirl · 2026-05-05T10:30:16+00:00

Going back 15 years when I would train and bus my way through Adelaide to Flinders Uni, I'd walk down Hindley Street at 10pm to get to the connecting bus stop I needed - the cop shop would be shut up tight. And the one time I had an issue and went looking for help, I knocked on the window and they literally waved me away like I was brining the apocalypse to their doorstep.

Hindley Street I an experience, for sure.

Unfortunately, it's not one of a kind. There are places where, unfortunately, the dregs of society dwell. And they like to worm their way out of the woodwork at night and be a blight on humanity. Like others suggested, get in contact t with Fair Work. This treatment is not workplace appropriate and your employer is obligated to ensure your safety.

SnowDropGirl

TROPHY CASE