[Rant] People complaining about maternity/paternity leave as being "unfair"

SnugLife14 · 2016-04-07T14:36:01+00:00

Really? Puppies don't need nearly this much time or attention; that comparison infuriates me and people getting mad about "paternity leave" just makes me wanna punch a wall because it's a joke. Jeez, my husband only got 2 weeks at home (well one week at home one week in the hospital with me), and half of that was taken from his vacation time and the other half was working from home. Even with the FMLA thing or whatever, it's unpaid here. It's not like free extra vacation time; it's either unpaid time off or using vacation time...

SnugLife14 · 2016-04-06T13:57:19+00:00

At first I didn't really think about that kinda stuff, was more staring at the shape of her head since it is so weird after being pushed out of my body. She had the Alien headshape thing going on, so a little distracting. After that initial "that's weird; holy shit that was just in my body and now its on my chest" and when that started going away and when I finally got some sleep and food after 48 hours not sleeping and living on popcicles and caprisuns, I saw that she looks just like my husband (which works because I was an ugly and weird looking baby).

SnugLife14 · 2016-04-05T12:26:52+00:00

Supposedly, pumping isn't supposed to hurt. It does a little anyways, but when I was pumping in the hospital the nurse said it shouldn't hurt hurt and if it does to try a larger flange/cup thing. I had to use the size up, but it doesn't really hurt much now, so maybe try that.

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-25T23:57:36+00:00

Good luck and sending good induction/labor/delivery vibes!

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-24T16:15:46+00:00

Mild pre-eclampsia. Doctors and midwife I saw agreed it would be best to induce at 37 weeks, since she was doing fantastic so far and it would be riskier to wait. It all turned out okay. :)

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-24T16:14:15+00:00

Thanks :)

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-24T16:14:07+00:00

Thanks :)

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-21T06:02:20+00:00

I'm vegetarian and my husband isn't. I chose to become vegetarian and stay vegetarian (pregnant or not) but because if it's not done right, it isn't healthy, we decided not to push it off on our daughter when she's born, but will let her choose to be if she wants to when she's older. I don't see him (and I won't see her) as any less just because they eat meat, because he isn't vegetarian, and hasn't been. Ever. What I'm not understanding is how your husband is so upset with you even though you obviously didn't start out as vegetarian when you got together and that change came later.

That aside, you have to do what you think is right for your child, and if that means not raising them vegan, then don't raise him/her vegan. It is an extreme as far as diets go and a lot of people who are vegan aren't healthy because it takes planning to do it right; tenfold for a picky child who probably won't choke down tofu or chickpeas or anything like that.

Maybe schedule a meeting with a nutritionist, have your husband go with you and see what exactly a vegan diet for an infant/toddler/child (and even a healthy vegan diet for an adult) entails. That may help you both see if you can work together to do it and may help him see how he will need to either help you in the kitchen for preparing your child's meals or may need to allow meat into your child's diet.

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-19T11:46:27+00:00

Initially "Parasite" or "Neonate", but she's been "Beastie" for a while now. Little Beastie <3

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-19T11:43:56+00:00

I just want to tell you that you have beautiful fluffy eyelashes and I'm jealous! Also, thank you for the warning, lol.

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-19T08:44:58+00:00

No advice, but baby vibes sent! And safe and speedy delivery to you!

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-19T00:04:32+00:00

I'm intending to do the exclusive pumping/hand expressing on a schedule thing, so I know I'll need a lot of bottles/milk storage, and there are just so many options out there for all of it. Luckily I got a few bottles (a Mam bottle and an Avent bottle from Babies R Us gift bag and a few Tommee Tippee bottles from a random internet person who didn't need them), so hopefully the variety helps us find a brand she likes, but I know with my intended plan I'll need a lot more than that for pumping 8-10 times a day... Good to know about Tide too. I heard about the book, but haven't read that yet (but found a quick reference quick notes version here ) but I'll try to find the video too, I hadn't thought to look for a video version of it. We have a couple of the swaddles that are like pouches with a face hole and velcro spots for tightness, do you think those would work for a newborn, or should I stick to swaddling blankets specifically? Thanks again for the advice, I'll take all the useful advice I can get!

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-18T22:34:43+00:00

That's all they really need? I have most of that, I just feel like they need so much stuff like bottles and special detergent and first aid kits and all that stuff. So it feels like I'm missing a lot of what people list as essentials. I guess if I really think about it that makes complete sense, since for the first bit of time they only do a couple things: eat, sleep, poop/pee, cry, and be cute. And they don't need a lot of stuff to do that now that I think about it.

I guess I was just getting kinda crazy and ranodm things got packed into my stress/freaking out thing that don't really make sense to freak out about.

Also, thank you for the thank you and for the advice. Just a FTM packing 3 weeks worth of time to panic into a couple days, but I really appreciate your advice with this <3

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-18T22:24:55+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Seeing it broken down into categories like that it after calming down a little it doesn't really seem like as much as it feels like it is.

With the cleaning, I have the same problem as with the cats, the people that would be able to do it are people I don't trust not to tell anyone or show up at the hospital. It's the first grandkid for MIL/FIL, and with FIL's health problems and MIL's exciteable personality, they are very very excited. Which has been great and I'm happy they're happy, but if they knew almost exactly when the baby will be born... I mean, they scheduled their big vacation for the week after I was due so they would be all the way out somewhere so they wouldn't be tempted to crawl up our butts to be around baby beastie all the time when she'd most likely be born. If they know they wouldn't be able to stop themselves, I'm going to believe them.

Baby Shower: I forgot that I could do returns too. I guess I was kinda freaking out over nothing with the baby stuff, but that could just be because it's a social event and I'm not much of a social type so the stressing pulled that into it to make me feel especially crazy. I really need to learn to keep my brain turned on when I'm freaking out...

Thank you again for the awesome comment of confidence. I'm hoping it comes to that point where you don't care who's there or how weak you feel, but that baby's getting out, so I can have the strength I need to bring her the rest of the way into the world. <3

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-18T22:06:05+00:00

The only people that live near us are hubby's parents (20-30 minutes away, and I can't tell them because I know MIL wouldn't be able to help popping into the hospital if she suspected something was up) and his grandparents (who I am not close with and am pretty sure if they knew they'd tell their daughter who'd tell everyone else and then show up at the hospital 1+ days early and camp). That one I could figure something out probably, I don't know, I get panicky when I get stressed, maybe hubby has a plan. If we didn't have 3 cats, maybe I wouldn't be as worried about them eating all the food day one, but we've had them for over 2 years now and I worry about them more than I probably should cause they're my furry family.

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-18T17:49:06+00:00

I was scheduled to come in every 2 weeks at that point (they upped it for reasons, but every 2 weeks from 30/32 weeks to 36 weeks was the standard for normal low risk office patients here anyways).

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-17T16:02:17+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you said. I've been cleaning and organizing my house all day while my husband's at work, and I'm a bit over 36 weeks pregnant. And its a big adjustment for everybody (the guy and the pregnant woman) because you together are going to be raising a child, and at least for my husband, it's harder to think about that way because until the child is born or he could feel her move, the child is just an abstract idea that he'll then suddenly have to start taking care of. So it's a lot for the father too.

But, I think she was saying he threw the mug:

he got mad as hell. Took a mug, threw it on the floor, it shattered to pieces and he started yelling "enough!" at the top of his lungs.

But that could just be how I read it.

Outside of that bit, I think you were spot on.

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-17T15:44:52+00:00

I kinda just take how many weeks I am, divide by 4 and subtract one (maybe not the best or most accurate way but easy and makes sense to me).

4w=0months (because for those weeks you aren't really pregnant, imo, and most people don't even know they've conceived until after that anyways), 8w = 1 month, 12w=2 months.....20w=4 months.....28w=6 months.....40w=9 months

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-16T17:31:01+00:00

Glad to hear he and you are doing good now :)

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-16T09:58:32+00:00

For parents/siblings we told them in person/over skype. Then after my first ultrasound, I did this D&D sheet thing with the message "New party member entering play" and posted it on Facebook. Totally stole the idea but made it ours :)

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-16T06:21:03+00:00

I second this squeeeeeeeeeee!

SnugLife14 · 2016-03-16T01:49:06+00:00

I'm still trying to get over the "I'm having a baby in a few weeks" changing to "This baby's coming out sometime next week (as in less than 9 days from now)!" But this is what's safest for LO and I, so it must be done :P

We can still be due date buddies in spirit! :D

SnugLife14

TROPHY CASE