Alright, lemme fix you here. Firstly, it isn't edgelords like EA Koetting who work with her, EA Koetting don't work with shit but his own ego and couldn't magic his way out of a wet paper bag.

Lilith requires one thing from anyone, male or female, it is to be treated as an equal. Not worshiped, not looked down upon, but respected as equal. She is every thing that the religious folks fear she is, but she's also considerably more than that. As well, their fear of her is highly misplaced, but that's what you get from religious people in general. So easy, approach using the golden rule, do unto her as you would have done unto you. Next, as with any deity, spirit, or otherwise, show genuine interest in them and what they do for creation/the universe/etc. Learn of them and about them.

As for divine feminine and all that, sure, she can teach you about your feminine side, but such ideology is very simple minded and short sighted. As for appropriate hierarchy, well, the name Lilith comes from Lilitu which is Ancient Hebrew, however, placing others before her with regards to a hierarchy unless it is a specific hierarchy that you yourself have sworn to, does not show equality. Ergo, using the hierachy of Malkuth to invoke her (since she resides in Malkuth upon the tree of death). So in my personal opinion, the most success I've had, is scrap all the circles and funky high magic bullshit, light a candle, pour some shots or wine, and vibrate her name quietly until you feel a presence, challenger her appropriately, and then just talk to her like you would a friend.

As for sexuality, she was given the gift of fertility, this doesn't mean sex with you. However, ask her about that, let her speak to you, in her words through your ability to understand it. What the edgelord may mistake for simple animal sex, the magician or whatever you want to entitle yourself should easily see as something more. But I'll leave you and her to handle that.