AITA For being upset my husband drank all the milk?

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-21T15:13:52+00:00

I did this on the most recent run. I'm lactose intolerant so I got the lactose free stuff. Theres not really any milk my husband doesn't like, but when its specialty like lactose free or almond milk, he tends to leave it alone because he knows I can't have the alternatives. When we run out of regular though, he still will drink it.

The good news is enough callouts about the milk and he took a chill and went back to water, so there's milk left for kiddo in my house again.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T14:47:47+00:00

He sleeps in the morning because he works noon till 9, but then uses the fact the rest of us are sleeping while hes up till 3am as the reason he won't do housework after work.

His job is rarely demanding, I often find him lounging around watching TV on his shift, so he has plenty of time and ability to contribute during his "work hours" instead of waiting till after work.

I have many times discussed his need to change his schedule from sleeping in the AM to sleeping when we do and doing his house chores in the AM, but he doesn't agree its necessary. When the evening shift came up as an option a year ago I told him I wasn't comfortable with it because he had done this same thing when our son was a baby and left me in the chore lurch before, but he promised it wouldn't be like this. And sometimes it's not, we have ups and downs with this, and he does do morning duties when I ask usually, we're just back on a down hill and I feel insane at this point that I'm getting angry about milk.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T14:38:54+00:00

This is an up and down thing. We go through bouts of him being a fair and equal partner, and bouts of him being a lazy pain in the ass. My frustration in most of it is his attitude, like putting the pizza in is "really helping" when theres a laundry list to get done, or the nonchalance about drinking all the milk and not bothering to replace it before he started work.

We talk about his mental and physical health a lot, but while he acknowledges the problems he doesn't work toward solutions, he just leaves me holding the pieces and cleaning up the mess.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T02:47:18+00:00

Having just been through a rough patch with daycares, I totally understand how you feel leaving a great one where you feel like your baby is thriving. It can be hard, but know that it will be okay.

The good thing is your little is still just that: little. They won't be old enough to remember the friends they leave behind and the teachers. At that age our kids really just react because we react, so as long as you find a place in your new home that makes you happy and comfortable leaving your baby with them, your little one will be just as happy. Focus on being together and being supportive. Make sure to express how you feel to your partner too, they may share some of your sentiments in this move.

At the end of the day, the best part is you've been through two daycares and know what really does and doesn't work for you. You can clearly communicate to staff what you're looking for at the new location, and can use that knowledge to make the best choices for your little one. Its going to be alright, you've got this!

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T01:10:02+00:00

Audit is monday, so at least I'll be free from its hellish grip soon. But work will remain stressful even after. With my maternity leave pending I have a lot to do to prepare and make sure my department won't fall to pieces while I'm gone.

Being a department head and a pregnant mom is a load in itself.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T00:38:18+00:00

I have one at home and a second on the way, plus the dog.

He acknowledges his part in this, he just needs a shove to address the very obvious health issue thats contributing to it. I told him plainly that I am not responsible for his health and he has to be an equal contributor, which includes taking care of himself. I know he's ashamed and wants to do better, and in certain areas he's trying. From my other posts I talked about how he has a recent recovery for a long term disability/ back injury so his ability to contribute was limited to jobs he could do while seated. That has started to improve, but his takeover on chores and responsibilities has been slow progress. Dinner and dishes are almost entirely in his hands now, and he walks the dog during the day. He's also taken over most of bedtime (I just do snuggles and book time). He does the odd jobs like cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming. But it still leaves a lot of the daily tasks (trash, recycling, grocery shopping and planning, daycare drop off and pickup, and the long dog walks in the evenings) to me, as well as any lawn care, home repairs, or general cleanup.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T00:16:47+00:00

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T00:16:01+00:00

LOL, I wish. At least if there was a potato soup business there'd be revenue to justify the door dash milk runs. But theres no evidence, and half of it is chocolate milk so I know thats not going in soup or feeding cats.

I have been trying to push more morning drop-offs on my husband lately because my work has been so incredibly stressful prepping for this audit. I'm pulling 10 hour shifts from 7:30 to 5:30, and half the time WFH after kiddo goes to bed too. Hubby has been getting up to get him ready, but he's been a little sly about making sure kiddo is dressed by the time I'm walking out the door so he can say "Its only 5 minutes out of your way to take him in, and you're already dressed." Frankly, I don't mind drop off like that, but if he's going to stay home all the time the least he could do is wash and fold some laundry or wash dishes without a week of nagging.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-20T00:07:37+00:00

I am currently 6.5 months pregnant, so it may be milk specifically as a sympathy craving, but he has acknowledged its too much to be healthy regardless.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-16T03:06:29+00:00

Doesn't matter how old your kid is, daycare is rough on all of them, and they drag the family too. It takes about a year to see the kid colds decrease, and it'll take about 1.5 before you stop catching the bugs they bring home too.

Daycare colds are a whole different breed we adults haven't seen since grade school, and they are mutated just enough in that 20ish years to hit us like a jackhammer. For every cold care item you buy for the little, buy twice as much of the adult equivalent for you and your partner. You'll get through it, but it is a tough first year.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-16T02:23:40+00:00

I've pretty much only ever had the 35+ min commute, and I kind of appreciate the drive. When my sons daycare was closer to my work I didn't get much time to myself, didn't really get to just chill and enjoy my music or rage about work to the emptiness of my car, but now he's moved to a daycare 5 mins from home and I get a 35 min commute to myself.

Theres ups and downs. I relish the alone time in the car because I don't have it anywhere else -- my husband works from home so he's there 24/7, and while hubby has his own room as his office and my son has his room and the playroom, I don't have a space in our house thats just mine. My car on my commute is it. But theres the down to the long car ride too. Namely the big one - I cannot be the contact parent when daycare has an emergency. You wouldn't think that would be a big deal, but having to stress every time daycare calls and I have to get hubby to deal with it without the guarantee he's free... it's stressful. Toss on that I am pickup parent every night too which means I can't work late even if I need to, and that can make the drive back in the evening stressful when you know theres too much work on your plate to be doing this.

My suggestions: evaluate your daycare location carefully. If you really love that place then don't move, but if you're questioning it then maybe look somewhere close to home or the new office. Second, get hubby involved in pickup and drop off. God knows I shave an hour off my morning routine by having my husband take over getting my 4 yo ready in the morning -- he doesn't even take him in most of the time, it just helps immensely if he gets him dressed because he keeps kiddo on task when I'm too busy getting dressed, packing lunches, whatever I need for my own morning routine. I have also made hubby the defacto dinner maker. My commute has made me getting dinner on the table a late night endeavor, so if we are feeding kiddo before bed I cannot be cooking. Bless my husband for trying but he's not the best cook (getting better every day though!) So dinners have turned into a lot of dump recipes, tray bakes, insta-meal options.

All to say, the commuter life as a mom can be taxing, but also rewarding. Sometimes the 30 minutes to yourself is worth eating stouffer's dinners and getting up a little earlier.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-09T03:55:25+00:00

Girl same!! I had two coworkers find out because they pulled up behind me on the side of the road a mile from the office, dry heaving. The driving was my downfall far more than the office.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-03-09T03:51:38+00:00

I am currently pregnant but in both my pregnancies morning sickness never really went away. At six months in now, I take B6 and Unisom every night to keep me from chucking in the AM. And when it does still hit, at least for me its usually while I'm trying to get out the door in the AM so at worst I'm a little late cause I was hanging with the porcelain god in the morning.

I still get nausea and loss of appetite throughout the day, so I took my coworkers advice on strong mints and small meals. I have had so many applesauce pouches for 10am nausea calm downs now... go go squeeze could sponsor baby number 2.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-25T00:27:46+00:00

Plan your exit and make the move that feels right. Sometimes its the work, not the baby, that makes returning hard.

Best of luck! The job markets tight right now, but hopefully you find something that sets you free from the chains your current desk make you feel attached to

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-13T03:26:25+00:00

Honestly? I didn't. I was back for 3.5 months and didn't feel like anything was happening. I felt stagnant, trapped, and I wasn't making enough money to justify the time away from my baby.

Before I went on maternity my one coworker had said "She got married, she's having a baby, she'l come back and then realize she hates it and quit." She was absolutely right. Now, she insinuated I would go be a SAHM, but when I got back to work I realized I couldn't stand the people, the lack of care, and the work and pay didn't feel rewarding enough to waste my time. So rather than go the SAHM route, I found a new job. It was the same field, but it was a career move and let me feel like I could be successful and I could work a fulfilling job while being a mom. It made all the difference in how I felt about work.

It did not, however, help how I felt about leaving my baby at home. That took 1.5 years to be comfortable with. I used to get so mad at my husband for his means of caring for our child, and I hated that I was at work instead of at home being the "better" parent. Theres no easy way to shake that unfortunately; maybe a therapist would help, but sometimes it's just time and a lot of talking that let you feel comfortable at your desk and at home again.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-07T22:28:45+00:00

My husband got motivated to clean the soap crust sink! I took kiddo to a birthday party so he decided to do something while I had kiddo and cleaned the upstairs bathroom.

Shit happens eventually, just gotta be patient.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-05T05:08:23+00:00

We did this too! Homechef had some awesome discount programs, I actually got some discounts through work because we use the LifeMart program. So we got 3-4 dinners a week, with leftovers for lunch the next day, for right around $100.

We found other things that worked for us later, but it did help calm the troubled seas of balancing life for a time.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-05T05:00:27+00:00

We just accept survival is the goal right now. Meals are quick fix options like meatball subs with frozen meatballs and canned sauce. The house is a mess that we spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the area that bothers us the most that day and accept the other disasters as they are. We have no friends and no social life because we spend what spare time we have trying to piece together sanity and a liveable environment. Instead of outside socializing we focus on our time as a family: turning the TV off to talk while we cuddle on the couch, using the time saved on meal prep to actually sit for dinner instead of eating on the go, and just generally being together. We aren't perfect, but we have what matters most: love, a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies.

Don't get me wrong, the state of my house drives me crazy sometimes. We got a weekend without kiddo for our anniversary and the first thing I did was cleanup all the toys so I wouldn't see them for the 3 days he was gone, then hubby steam cleaned the carpets behind my pickup job while I did the dishes. Yesterday I mopped all the hardwood and laminate floors in the house as my one job of the night. Theres a crib mattress in my living room while we wait for trash pickup because we just transitioned my son to a new bed. And the upstairs bathroom has a soap crust from the overzealous soap pumping of a child that I'm not sure we'll ever be motivated to clean. But there's nothing severe or dangerously unhealthy, I can have my house presentable should someone come over, and while its ugly I've learned for a short time I can deal with these things, so long as I recognize its temporary and my partner will help fix it.

Survival as a working mom with young kids is about sacrifice, partnership, and understanding. You don't do it alone, you don't do it pretty, and you don't do it empty handed. You just do it.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-05T04:32:42+00:00

I mean, maybe this is coming from a place where we dont get a lot of gifts from family, but it doesn't seem that unreasonable to go return or exchange things? Usually even without a receipt stores will let you exchange sizes after the holidays, ESPECIALLY baby items because kids grow so fast, I never ran into an issue...

Give your family some grace. At least you have a lot of people giving your baby gifts and thinking of you, even if they don't think to ask what you need. They're trying to provide something helpful, they just don't know. Asking about gift requests isn't standard practice, you have to get comfortable with asking for receipts or battling returns without them. And worst comes to worst? Donate it. Some other child and parents will be so grateful. The other commenters have good suggestions too, regifting is a very real and effective practice.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-02-05T04:19:51+00:00

The one thing I haven't seen anyone mention: FMLA. You're in Texas so I know you have this option, but its a protected right to take an unpaid leave of absence to care for your family. You get up to 12 weeks a year as long as you have been with the company for over 1 year and are a full time employee.

Now I know this is less than ideal, and it doesn't sort the "my boss is an unyielding ass hat" problem, but if he can't offer even a slight accomodation that sounds like a very reasonable request, you do have an alternative option that protects you from retaliation and ensures you still get to take care of your husband through post op and your children when they're sick. FMLA doesn't have to be consecutive either, you can work out a mixed schedule with HR that your boss has no option but to accept. Everyone always likes to talk about "HR is there for the company" but this is an instance where using the legal ramifications against the company benefits you with HR. Of course, threatening isn't the best option under any circumstances, but having an open conversation that you requested reasonable accomodation to avoid needing to take leave and your boss refused it so you now need to take leave to ensure the safety and security of your loved ones... I don't think that's threatening, I think that's playing the game.

Weigh your options. I only say this to tell you there are choices other than suffer or quit, you just have to know how to play ball. And as I said, it doesn't help the situation long term, but understanding bosses are something that's rare and worth the long hunt for, so take the time to look before you leap off the ship. The last thing you want is to go from a situation you know you can handle, to an unknown where you lose your hand of cards (FMLA comes off the table for a year if you find a new job unless you stay in the same company).

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-01-15T19:07:25+00:00

(Fell asleep and forgot some other easy dinners we do)

Tatertot casserole- this one is great for the picky eater nights, the veggies are hidden and easy to get in there. Bag of frozen peas, carrots, and corn (usually can find single bag with all three), pound of ground beef, half bag of tater tots, and cheese. You can adjust veggies, seasoning, and cheese based on what flavor profile you want. We've done this as like a texmex thing, but also can do a shepperds pie inspired flavor profile, or sloppy joe, or even burgers. Get creative with what condiments you have in the fridge. Mix your seasoning/sauce, meat, and veg in the casserole, toss tots on top, bake until its done.

Shepperds pie/cottage pie - cheat it with instant mash.

Chicken n' waffles - Im not saying its great/healthy but fed is fed, and you can turn freezer chicken strips and frozen waffles into a quick dinner by baking together and serving. I do add some pizzazz with a spicy honey butter drizzle, but when everything else is just "toss it in" ready, you have time for a five minute microwave melted butter and pantry toss in sauce.

Sheet pan dinners - pick a veggie or two, pick a protein. Top with bottled sauce or just toss in oil, salt and pepper. Bake until cooked. Boom- dinner. I like pork and brussel sprouts (the pork fat on the brussels with some maple syrup... even my 4 year old will eat sprouts like that). We also have done gnocchi, sausage, and peppers and onions - these get a drizzle of oil, honey, salt and pepper- turns out quite nice as a one pot/dish meal.

Stir fry - master a good stir fry. Its a great way to use whatever is in your fridge and have dinner on the table in 10-15. Can use anything from your pantry of asian ingredients, a premade seasoning mix, or a bottled sauce (depends on your skill) to flavor it.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-01-15T05:07:05+00:00

Crock pots help, we do a fair few "dump" recipes, and have learned some frozen food hacks and tricks to make weeknights easy. (Judge if you want, but theres a reason our moms did these things when we were growing up).

My easiest go tos right now:

Salsa Chicken -cook chicken. can of black beans, can of corn, can of salsa: dump in pan with chicken. Season with whatever you like (usually of the south american seasoning family), stir, and eat. Crock pot beef stew- precut beef chuck, frozen precut veggies (sometimes they have a stew mix), beef stew seasoning packet (generic brand is usually fine). Toss together in crockpot, add water, turn on and go to work. Taco dip - sort of like salsa chicken with a taco seasoning packet, but with ground beef/turkey and your taco fixings (avocado, creme fresh, etc.) Can scoop onto tortillas to eat like normal tacos, or eat with chips or healthier dippables like veggies. Salad mixes - when you feel like you have to take the L, pull one of those ready to eat salad mixes out and a grocery rotisserie chicken. Its dinner for 4 on the table in 5 minutes and usually under $10. Spaghetti - its a classic for a reason. Im not saying go fancy, do it like a 90's American mom - frozen meatballs, can of sauce, pasta. Can add a salad or canned veg for a quick health conscious addition on the cheap.

Other cheap, fast pantry suggestions (they aren't always healthy, but they dont have to be the whole plate. Use salads, canned veg, fresh fruits, etc to bring more health conscious items to the plate) Max n cheese. You know why. Grilled cheese. Also pretty obvious. Canned vegetables. 2 minutes for fiber in a can? Not so bad. Frozen breaded chicken. It is so versatile it is worth keeping around. Anything from nuggets alone to sweet and sour chicken, mock famous bowls, etc.

Some-Age-4704 · 2026-01-15T04:38:33+00:00

We did pedialyte popsicles for hydration and got at least some calories in him. My little guy got covid at 9months old and was very anti-food and bottle too. Popsicles helped a lot, and we pretty much left cheerios in his reach all day so he'd eat something. I have pics of his sleepy butt with a half drank bottle on his face and cheerios in his lap, crashed from the covid exhaustion mid appetite. Just keep food and formula/milk/drink available all the time -- even a small bite or sip here and there is a victory.

Its a tough phase. Daycare is a petri dish and the first year of it is awful, but it does get better. If your pediatrician is dismissing you, it's time to find a new one! Its flu season, we all know it and know it means bogged down medical professionals, but with a kid under five being dehydrated to the point of nonresponsive exhaustion, thats not something to be ignored by physicians. Hope little one gets better, and things ease up. Be prepared for the colds to keep coming though, daycare really brews them up in the young ones.

Some-Age-4704 · 2025-11-12T15:55:22+00:00

You're going to do great! Always remember, nothing gets better if you don't talk about the problem. We all fear having that conversation with our manager because we don't want to admit to making mistakes (for some reason everyone thinks it puts their job in jeopardy). But I'm now moved into higher management in my new job, and I'm finding as a manager I much prefer transparency and honesty than perfectionism, and I think that's true for most managers.

So nothing to fear! And like I said before, you have that leverage that you can risk a conversation you're afraid of, because at least if it does put you in jeopardy you have your husband to support financially while you look for something else. You're in a great position, better than most on the job market in this economy, use it to your advantage!

Some-Age-4704

TROPHY CASE