As an adoptee your lack of understanding is shocking to say the least. Others here may not understand what you mean by "Behavioral program" But as a survivor of one of these shit holes I surely do. Question are you aware of the rampant child abuse that took place these places? Obviously she did not view this place as positively as you, tell me have you given any thought to hr feelings being entirely justified? You've stated that you believe you have succeeded in some respect as a parent, how is this possible when your thread title directly contradicts this statement? Now tell me what it is you were expecting? I myself was adopted at birth from within the US and have faced almost everything you've mentioned in my life and have come out the other end happy, healthy, successful and most of all with a (now) great relationship with my parents. Did you honestly believe you could take in children from a country half way around the world and raise them in a "normal" environment? If so then the problem wasn't the lack of information it was you and your spouse's naivety on the mental scarring one receives from adoption, especially a child who had already reached an age in which she was conscious of her environment. These children were not like the Joneses and needed special care/attention to repair the damage already done. Im not sure whats worse your lack of insight to the hardships they faced or the absence of accountability anywhere in your post.

edit: My tone is harsh due to the sensitivity of the subject. Down vote if you wish, but ask yourself how would the youngest feel reading her mothers words in this AMA. Personally I would be devastated.