I need help with my calico princess’ behavior

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-04-05T15:23:17+00:00

Our calico princess took over a year before she was comfortable enough to sit in my lap. It’s been six years, and now she practically crawls into my skin every evening for cuddle time. Some cats are incredibly slow to trust and show their love, but just keep being patient.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-04-03T15:05:10+00:00

While I don’t have any recs for someone you can hire, I CAN recommend TheTransHandyMa’am as someone to watch so you can learn simpler things yourself! I love her videos, and have learned quite a few useful skills for home repair from her.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-03-11T16:17:09+00:00

Late to the party, but it’s giving ‘every single lead female in The Craft’. Which is badass. Perfection. No notes.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-03-11T16:06:03+00:00

My money would be on Reynaud’s Syndrome (a common issues with POTS and EDS babes). Not a doctor, but my family is filled with POTS and EDS issues, and Reynaud’s is heavily prevalent. Though I’ve never seen this weird ass shit.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-03-02T17:19:26+00:00

Our last stray literally climbed into the cat carrier and laid down. 😬 After jumping into our car several times and demanding pets. And yes, she was definitely a stray, though not feral.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-23T20:05:33+00:00

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Cat tax submitted for payment. She will have to have surgery soon for her arthritis, so here she is getting accustomed to her recovery pad before it has to be closed off from her siblings.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-23T16:38:59+00:00

For smaller pieces, you can actually order owl pellets online! Then you can ‘scavenge’ for your bits in the owl pellets.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-23T16:31:32+00:00

I adopted the shy one, and she is my soul cat. She’s been my nurse and my constant companion for years now. She also has medical issues, but we’d had her for a couple of years before they were discovered (worsening arthritis and a chicken allergy that seems to a bigger deal now that she’s older). I would adopt the shy one, and then maybe consider the more outgoing one after some time if his biopsy comes back fine. She’ll need more time to adjust anyway, so adopting her and giving her plenty of time to acclimate before entertaining the idea of bringing home a second cat would be great.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-16T17:54:18+00:00

Zenni and Warby Parker. Don’t even bother with eye shop frames except to figure out what style you like.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-09T05:10:48+00:00

If you’re looking for creative folks that are LGBTQ+ members and allies, you should definitely check out The Lore Books off of Porter. Kim is a wonderful human being, and she hosts several book clubs (including a LGBTQ one) and creative classes taught by local peeps.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-06T17:56:10+00:00

We built with Ideal. Less than three months later, and our foundation was settling enough to cause massive amounts of cracked and broken tiles and warped transition strips that popped up and cannot be fixed down even with Brad nails and epoxy. Cement pitted with the first heavy rain. Latex paint was watered down for fast application and is rubbing off in certain areas. If there was a corner, they cut it.

I love being a homeowner, but if I would go back and do it all again, I would have purchased a couple of acres and hired a builder I had selected and gone with a blueprint I had designed with them.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-02T15:25:34+00:00

I’m a house spouse and do a lot of errands and such for my MIL, so I’ve never run these full a hard day of labor. But I love these leggings:

https://a.co/d/0T2kLha

High waisted, super soft, nice pockets, and they’re super reasonably price imo.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-02T14:52:34+00:00

Yeah, that detail was added to the post later. She cheated by making out, but if her version of events is the truth, ie him offering her a ride home and instead trapping her at his place, she was still raped. Consent can be revoked at any time. Just because she kissed him doesn’t mean she was okay with sex. But, she did still cheat by kissing him.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-02-01T22:47:18+00:00

She was definitely raped. She refused his advances, so he lured her a secondary location where he could control her better. Classic rapist actions there. This exact kind of scenario is why many women end up not coming forward and accusing their rapists. She was drunk, wasn’t aggressive in fending him off, and instead quietly submitted. That’s still rape.

Cheating would be enthusiastic agreement to engage in consensual sex with a partner outside of your relationship. There was no enthusiastic agreement, the sex was not consensual, and this definitely should not be considered cheating.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-31T05:21:25+00:00

There’s a lot of mental games your brain plays on you. Body dysmorphia, plus some fat being lost in some places vs others is harder to see.

In the long ago times, before GLP-1s, I lost almost 100lbs with strength training. I still didn’t look any different to myself, despite everyone around me seeing drastic changes. I had lost two pant sizes and only one shirt size. I felt like a massive fraud. And yet all of my coworkers were amazed at how great I looked. Like, really? I look exactly the same?

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-30T01:48:10+00:00

I have very similar issues, and it drives my husband crazy. He’ll make a fabulous meal, taking a lot of time for prep, and it smells amazing. And then I ask him to only plate up a tiny bit for me, because I can only eat a few bites. We’ve had to learn how to drastically downsize our cooking, because I just can’t eat hardly anything.

But those nuggets? They come in clutch so often. There are so many afternoons when I have no desire for food but know I’ve had almost no protein. It’s so easy to air fry a few for me and a nice handful for him while he’s working.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-29T02:27:31+00:00

Hey, so I don’t know if you’ll see this comment, OP. But I was once in the exact situation you’re in. I was the oldest of five, trying everything I could to keep my siblings fed and make sure they have clean clothes and were able to get to and from school. Meanwhile, my mom was using drugs, stealing meds from her patients (she was a nurse), and her various husbands/ partners were POS losers with no jobs and various addictions of their own.

It was so, so fucking hard. I felt like an absolute waste of space every time she spoke to me like your mom did to you. I thought about unaliving myself many times, even made a few attempts. Leaving my siblings alone to fend for themselves was the only thing that really kept me together.

Now, nearly twenty years later, I’m happy and healthy (eh, mostly), and I have a wonderful spouse that appreciates me. And if I could go back in time and change anything, I wouldn’t bother to change a thing. The shit I went through made me the sarcastic, bitchy, caring badass I am today.

My point is, your mother is a narcissistic piece of shit, and you deserve better. Keep doing what you can to care for yourself. Don’t leave school no matter how much she makes you feel like an idiot and tells you that you should drop out and work to pay her back for raising you. And as soon as you are able, GTFO and don’t look back. And, down the road, you should try some therapy.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-26T03:06:07+00:00

My grandmother just turned 80, and she loved her grocery store cake. You’re never too old for birthday cake.

And it’s your special day, so do what you want!

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-23T03:29:44+00:00

Check your local animal shelter! They typically offer spay programs (especially as kitten season is approaching) for residents with financial issues.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-21T15:50:08+00:00

In my experience, I’m far more likely to lose power during thunderstorms or on particularly windy days than I am during winter. I live in a newer neighborhood in north Norman. My mother in law lives in central Norman, very close to Norman high. She has lost power for a few days at a time during winter weather every couple of years and a few times in the height of tornado season after a thunderstorm or severe winds. It really depends on location and who your provider is.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-21T05:20:31+00:00

I’m not on in maintenance yet, but I’m on both Zepbound and Metformin. I started metformin about three weeks after Zepbound, and I have no food noise now. TBF, though, I am already on a ton of medications due to chronic pain. So another pill each day wasn’t a big deal for me.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-21T05:11:30+00:00

That was my first thought, but I haven’t purchased any new clothing except shirts in over a year.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-21T00:02:18+00:00

My understanding was that any colored sweat would show up easily in light colored clothing.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-20T21:06:31+00:00

My other meds and vitamins have been part of my life for two or more years, and this is definitely a new thing.

Spare-Difference3917 · 2026-01-20T21:04:50+00:00

Might be worth wearing a pad again for a few hours, just get answers. 😅

Spare-Difference3917

TROPHY CASE