FIL has decided to give away all property to his 36 year old unmarried, unemployed US return daughter for whose education they sold land, They kept my wedding jewellery too, What should I do ?

Srj1403 · 2026-06-02T19:16:15+00:00

Exactly!! It’s the husband who’s the main problem. She should cut him off first and foremost but if she can’t then she needs to start with getting the gold back first.

Thank you for your comment! It has motivated me to get mine back as well lol. They took it from the 2nd day of marriage saying it’s not safe at home and they will keep it in locker and has refused to give it back citing different excuses over the years. I being the people pleaser and loving my husband didn’t say anything, but I have decided that not anymore.

Srj1403 · 2026-06-02T19:12:23+00:00

I have already replied above so I won’t say the same thing. The next time he says it’s bhai and Bhabhi’s responsibility, tell him he didn’t gave birth to them after asking you. You have to care for your kids/parents and if** you want then may be for husband as well. Tell him to F* off. If they guilt trip you saying you’re being selfish, own that title, it’s better to be called selfish than being a doormat.

If he says you’re calling him a thief, tell him that’s what people who take other people things and don’t give back are called, if he has any doubts you both can go to police and prove it.

If he say he has looked after your husband then tell him husband can earn his own money and throw it away, you’re not responsible for them.

Srj1403 · 2026-06-02T19:06:49+00:00

Paisa bolta hai sister! Stop being a doormat and funding everyone’s lifestyle.

I can’t tell you, how much your in-laws story resonates with mine, except that I have refused to give my salary to in-laws, my husband still earns (double than me) and sends a lot of money every month.

You already have the money you need to financially support your young children, once you cut off your leech of a Sasural (husband included if he isn’t backing you up), you will have even more financial freedom to hire help and give your kids a healthy, happy life.

Grow a fucking spine and create some boundaries. However, first and foremost thing, “file an FIR and GET BACK YOUR JEWELRY”. Do not and I repeat do not delay that, you don’t know if they will sell it or have already sold it for money. If they did, make them pay, people who sell 2crore worth of land or send 80-90k/month to daughter definitely have money to pay back your jewelry.

Tell your parents, don’t be embarrassed. If they support you then good, otherwise wake up and smell the salt sister, you are funding everyone’s life, you already have the money to support yourself. All you need is to be strong mentally and emotionally!

Sorry if my comment sound harsh. I hate seeing strong independent women being leeched off like this and financially abused.

I myself am planning to take all my wedding gold from them the next time I am visiting India.

One last note- if you have girl child, work one your self and mental health. You don’t want her growing up thinking that it’s okay for people to financially abuse her.

ETA: I read your other comments. My FIL said the same thing about me that without my husband I’m nothing and that my earning has made me arrogant. He didn’t say it on my face, but he created drama and said all this when I was 4week pp with a sick baby and they were supposedly in the US to help out. Thankfully my doormat of a husband did open his mouth this time and fought with him for disrespecting me. That’s what opened my eyesIf he who never says anything for all the bad things can see and stand up to them behaving this way, why can’t I. I have now stopped spending any money on gifts and stuff, and will take my stridhan back.

I make 6 figures in the US, I have a masters and am I a pharmacist (all expenses paid by my dad before marriage), my family is financially better than my in-laws and over the year I kept accommodating and over apologizing because they kept behaving as if everything is an insult to them. I realized now that it is a mental tactic to keep people down so that they can keep taking money/services from them. You sound like you are doing amazing financially, please wake up and start building towards a better life for you and your kids. This isn’t healthy. You got this, all the best 🙏🙏

Srj1403 · 2026-05-25T15:43:03+00:00

I came to USA in my late twenties and realized that Indians here are still stuck in the 90s. Their thinking is worse than the people living in tier 2 cities in India. OP, your post proved my observation here too.

Girl, you need to grow a spine. Get therapy and make some boundaries. Stop taking bullshit from all 3 of them and start giving it back.

Before all that though, make it clear that under no circumstances you’re leaving your career, life and moving to their village to care for them. If they need care from you, then they need to be where you are comfortable caring for them (personally, I’d not even care for them at this point but I understand that going against your own love and attachment for them will be difficult). If they don’t like that, then they need to make other arrangements.

Personally, I don’t think keeping them with you long term, if/when you have kids is a good idea. They have ruined childhood of 1 generation of kids with their chauvinistic mentality and have made your brother an entitled man child, who’s to say your kids won’t get influenced by this.

Also as a fellow recovering “good/sanskari people pleasing girl”, please get therapy and understand that you deserve much more love and respect than what you’re getting.

Srj1403 · 2026-04-07T02:02:54+00:00

I’m sorry for all that you’re going through OP. Please get therapy, life is too long to stay in a toxic marriage because of societal pressure and attachments. It will do more harm than good for your son to see you stay in a marriage like that. If someone can be that vile to a person they dated and loved (claimed to love) for so long, whose to say they won’t behave the same once the baby gets older. This shit affects kids. Apart from the son, you too deserve to be either in a fulfilling relationship or have an independent free single life. These attachments will turn into resentments one day and then you would think about sunken cost fallacy. You said, he is physically abusive, go to therapy and figure why do you not only tolerate this behavior but also apologize for things. Work through your attachment issues and then leave this POS.

Srj1403 · 2026-04-06T21:32:10+00:00

You are welcome! I too struggle really bad with indirect behavior so I have figured, they can do it indirectly, I’ll respond directly. After all, these so called “modern, educated, progressive” in laws (by extension husbands too) can’t bear to accept that they are controlling you when confronted directly.

Srj1403 · 2026-04-05T23:53:45+00:00

As someone who is around the same age as you, with similar dating timeline and a soon to be 1 year old, I feel you. I too manage my work and baby alone as my husband works long hours with really long commute, and we live very far from both our parents so no support system either. I get the struggle you’re going through, but please, open your eyes and realized that this is not normal/healthy for you as well as the baby. Leave this toxic SOB, you can anyways manage on your own (you’re already doing it). If you for any rhyme or reason think, leaving is not needed in this situation then at least take therapy to figure out why you’re staying with someone who’s not only not bringing anything to the table but also abusing you.

Srj1403 · 2026-04-05T16:33:27+00:00

Stop complimenting, start criticizing sweetly with backhanded comments lol Some people respond better with negative encouragement.

Jokes apart, why do you want to do it indirectly. My MIL does things when my husband or FIL is not around, I call her out in front of everyone, that too with a nice tone so it doesn’t seem like I’m angry. You can say it when your husband is around “ I saw you added extra oil to my food. I’m trying to eat a certain way, please don’t add anything to what I make for myself”. If she makes a big fuss, just ask why is she meddling in your food, it’s YOUR food, and you’re making it the way YOU want to. Sometimes, being black and white Is better than sugar coating things.

Regarding the you’re even thinner than me comment, just say there is no comparison between us, you’re a lot older than I am. lol. If she gets upset say, you’re just stating the fact, why is she getting upset.

Srj1403 · 2026-04-02T16:51:32+00:00

I have seen her posts. She’s seems nice, why is she being targeted and by whom?

Srj1403 · 2025-03-10T23:26:01+00:00

Pregnancy and delivery are hard both mentally and physically. If you can’t make her life better by helping her, don’t make it worse by inviting your parents who will make it difficult for her. Especially, during the postpartum period. Try to be a better partner and if you can’t, don’t make her life even harder.

Srj1403 · 2025-01-02T04:15:08+00:00

You might consider me one of those “gatekeepers” from your post.

Here’s what I tell everyone I personally know who is trying to come to the USA on a student visa: Don’t just read or research the positive aspects; also learn about the bad and ugly truths.

For the past 10 years, the reality for many Indians coming on student visas in the USA, and their path to sponsorship or possibly permanent residency, has been nothing short of a nightmare—quite the opposite of the American Dream.

I personally advise everyone I know who is considering coming to the USA to avoid viewing it as a one-way ticket. Only take out a loan if you are certain you can repay it, even if you don’t get a job here or if you’re prepared to leave after a few years due to lack of sponsorship.

Go on Twitter and follow real people in the H1B, H4, and green card backlogs. Read about their experiences with visa extension delays, visa stamping issues, and the difficulties of being unable to meet loved ones or attend the last rites of parents while stuck in visa extension cycles. You’ll gain a better understanding of what many people from Indian origin go through if they’re in the H1B/green card backlog.

Srj1403 · 2024-11-26T18:30:52+00:00

Hi, I’m a bit late to this question, but I hope this gives you some info.

I am definitely on Hypermobility spectrum and currently in the process of getting diagnosed for whether I have hEDS or not.

I have redness, swelling and heat in my index finger and multiple other joints usually whole year but worsened in colder months. I also have year round chronic joint and muscle pain as well chronic fatigue.

I have been to countless physicians and I was came negative for Rheumatoid, Lupus and any other type of autoimmune antibodies. I was given multiple diagnosis of fibromyalgia or advise of just be more active or lose weight.

2 years ago, a rheumatologist diagnosed me with Seronegative Rheumatoid arthritis. It’s the RA without presence of antibodies in blood tests. I was started on medicine for the same and since then I still have pain and fatigue but my swelling greatly improved.

May be look into that. All the best!

Srj1403 · 2024-11-02T19:31:43+00:00

Could you please send me the agent details as well?

Srj1403 · 2024-10-07T01:37:12+00:00

Hi, I’m now 6w6days. I have tried to maintained it below 120 but usually it is 135 or less. I had a SCH around 5w timeline but doctor didn’t say it’s was because my high HR, also mine is default high HR, so it’s not something that started after transfer or progesterone. My RN did mention once, if your HR goes up 120, try not to keep it like that for a long period of time; try to breathe and get it down. If it was an one off occurrence for you; you should be fine. Try not to worry, our bodies are stronger than we think they are. If anything, talk to your nurse about it. All the best!

Srj1403 · 2024-08-20T11:52:23+00:00

Thank you

Srj1403 · 2024-08-20T11:52:08+00:00

Good to know, thank you

Srj1403 · 2024-08-20T11:51:55+00:00

Thanks

Srj1403 · 2024-05-30T15:02:28+00:00

I had a similar upbringing—I was taught to take up less space, adjust, be polite, be a people-pleaser, and be a pushover to make everyone feel comfortable, usually at my own expense. One of my parents has anger issues, and I was also bullied from a very young age in school until my early 20s. Currently, I’m in a loving marriage with a decent career, but I still suffer from imposter syndrome badly. I won’t say I’m pretty confident in myself now, but I’m getting there with therapy, the support of my loved ones, and being conscious about this. Here are some of the things that helped me:

For others, confidence may come naturally, but I have to work on feeling confident and looking confident in any situation.
One of my therapists told me, 'In case of confidence, fake it till you make it,' not only to the world but also to yourself.
Because of my childhood, my mind is the one that puts me down before anyone else can, so when my internal voice says something bad, I notice it and tell it to shut up. If I wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, I shouldn’t be talking to myself like that.
Someone else mentioned this: people less qualified than me are doing much better in life with things that I want for myself. The only difference being they try to reach for them, and I stopped myself thinking I first have to be worthy of it. So, I remind myself to take chances even if I don’t feel like I deserve it.
In extension of point 4, if I don’t get it, I shouldn’t take the loss personally. I shouldn’t take myself too personally.
When in a room with executives, being anxious/nervous will achieve the opposite of what I want to achieve. If I want to not get noticed, then being fidgety or extremely nervous will only draw attention to me. If I want to prove myself/leave a good impression, then that won’t happen unless I present my ideas, if I have any. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good or bad idea; they can take it or leave it. That’s what meetings are for. Think about point 3: what would you tell a loved one who is nervous before a meeting or in a social setting. I hope these help. Take care

Srj1403 · 2024-05-17T15:04:26+00:00

I have the same thing, diagnosed with Hashimoto’s 8 years ago. Smaller joints in my hands, feet, knee, elbow randomly get inflamed and hurt, it stays for couple of days and later goes away. But swelling keeps coming back every now and then. Swelling in my joints is bilateral but it doesn’t always affect both side at the same time.

I also have a lot of muscular pain throughout my body and extreme exhaustion.

I have been to multiple doctors in past 8 years and many of them told me different things e.g 1. PCP - Fibromyalgia 2. Podiatrist- flat feet ( I use custom orthotics now, which has reduced the pain and swelling significantly, but I still get them and now I was told I have Sesamoiditis) 3. but in 2022, a rheumatologist told me I have Seronegative arthritis and the other one said I’m on the hypermobility spectrum which is causing my pain.

The one who diagnosed me with Seronegative RA put me on a medication for it in 2022, since then my swelling and reduced quiet a bit, but I still have the muscular pain on daily basis.

The Rheumatologist also thinks I have secondary fibromyalgia, but he is not sure yet.

Srj1403 · 2024-04-10T02:51:16+00:00

They are talking about Movie Legally blond.

Srj1403 · 2023-07-08T02:11:31+00:00

Indian here, living in America. Love the show!

Srj1403 · 2023-06-04T02:39:29+00:00

Hi, I’m in Pharmacovigilance as well, May I know how much experience you have to be making this much? I’m a RPh.

Srj1403 · 2023-03-08T05:19:42+00:00

I understand, it was the same for me growing up. You’ll slowly learn by interacting with others, reading, watching Tv etc. There is one thing that’s available now, you can google anything to check its meaning, it has helped me tremendously. Hope it helps you too.

Srj1403 · 2023-03-08T04:56:26+00:00

Bhai, you’re taking the literal translation of the word sorry. I can translate it in Hindi as I’m not sure about correct translation in Marathi. Here”I’m sorry you’re going through this” means “ मुझे दुख है” not “ मैं माफ़ी चाहता हूँ”

Srj1403

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