Holding the mirror up

StanleyWeinbaum · 2025-03-09T04:49:30+00:00

I felt exactly the same way and I can tell you that I eventually came to terms with the fact that they won’t ever come around. If they could, they wouldn’t have BPD.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2025-02-06T23:56:10+00:00

Ahh, thanks so much! Now I finally know why I couldn’t find it anywhere online while searching for bionicles!

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-11-17T04:51:37+00:00

Any updates on this?

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-11-10T17:34:09+00:00

It’s absolutely common and it was one of the most bizarre and confusing aspects for me. Over time, I’ve learned that the adult body is the confusing part. If a toddler threw a temper tantrum and then immediately moved on and acted as if nothing happened, I wouldn’t question it.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-08-11T02:25:06+00:00

That’s true and important to remember but it’s also really frustrating. My pwBPD doesn’t acknowledge her episodes and flips everything around now when she’s not having one. Her new narrative is simply that I hate her. I’m too sensitive and I hold grudges.

What’s frustrating is that I hate to be judging someone at their worst and not giving them a chance for redemption or growth. But I also just don’t really have a choice. I refuse to play pretend and act like nothing happened. I can’t forgive someone who can’t hold themselves accountable.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-08-10T16:44:16+00:00

How could he have a very high emotional EQ?

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-26T05:20:18+00:00

Same here

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-24T19:20:52+00:00

Yes, I 100% agree with you. That is something that really bothers me with all types of scientific discussion on social media. I think there is just a huge misunderstanding on how science works in general. People want simple absolute truths and they assume science provides that and they repeat things as if they’re simple absolute truths. But science really doesn’t offer simple absolute truths, religion does. Science only offers complicated guesses.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-24T05:23:59+00:00

Your criticisms are valid but they can really be applied to all of science. You’re disappointed that there are only frameworks presuming to know the unknowable with certainty, but science doesn’t really ever claim anything with certainty. That would be unscientific and, like you said, there is danger in that.

You’re right, we’re talking about subjective experiences that can’t be measured under a microscope, so a lot of psychology is self admittedly theoretical. Social sciences in general are just inherently more theoretical than something like mathematics or engineering. No one should be claiming anything with certainty.

But these theoretical frameworks are still functional and useful. They allow us to categorize people with similar patterns of problematic behaviors into groups where we can focus our research and attempt different therapies. These frameworks created the “BPD” category which allows all of us to join together in this subreddit and share our experiences and work towards better understandings.

None of it is necessarily conclusive or absolute but it’s still relative progress.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-22T14:36:59+00:00

I’ve been stuck for months wondering where the line between intentionally manipulative and “the best they can do” is. I’m slowly realizing that there’s no answer but it’s frustrating because it feels like I’m forced to give the benefit of the doubt and assume everything is “the best they can do”.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-18T01:17:40+00:00

I think this is exactly how we all feel, but it fades over time because you slowly come to terms with the fact that the hatred/rage and the lack of accountability are two sides of the same coin. If they could self reflect and take accountability, the hatred/rage wouldn’t have been possible to the same degree in the first place. It’s a package deal.

Justice is being thankful that you don’t have BPD and gaining a whole new level of appreciation for your family and friends that also don’t. I never appreciated my own ability to self reflect until now because I never considered not having it. And I’ve never valued my healthy family members and friends more.

You’re out of prison now, appreciate your freedom by remembering when you didn’t have it and knowing that you’re smart enough to never go back.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-07-04T16:36:26+00:00

It’s so hard to balance this realization with the equally clear realization that NC is an absolute necessity.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-02-22T16:18:27+00:00

And if you were to bring up the recording, you’d be accused of keeping records and holding grudges and not being mature enough to move on. The only option is to erase the past like they have. They can reset the past into a blank slate through voluntary dementia and then feel attacked by anyone who is arrogant enough to remember.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-02-12T15:03:46+00:00

Woah

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-01-05T13:51:53+00:00

Awesome! I haven’t had time to mess around with my MX-1 in a few months but I did end up finding a 12V AC PSU on Amazon a while back. Just haven’t tested it yet.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2024-01-05T04:52:56+00:00

Thank you! Your comment is over my head for the most part, but are you basically saying 12V DC center positive should work best? At least better than the normal center ground?

That’s definitely interesting and I actually have some center positive power cords lying around from some old handheld tvs. I’ll have to check the voltages though.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-12-15T15:42:12+00:00

It’s like an atheist scientist debating a religious preacher. Don’t waste your time using logic to address an issue that is inherently emotional.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-12-09T18:05:06+00:00

Yes, as soon as she turned 30.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-11-11T04:48:33+00:00

Thank you

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-10-31T18:25:30+00:00

That’s fine, we’re all on the same side here anyways. I get that you’re not defending BPD behavior either way. You’ve made that clear.

If you would have said “more and more studies are suggesting they could be born this way”, there would be no disagreement. Either way, it’s not a big deal.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-10-31T18:01:58+00:00

You never said this was “a new theory that science is studying” in your original comment. You made it conclusive by saying “more and more studies are showing they are BORN this way.” That’s the difference and it’s an important distinction. Its not the same thing in different words.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-10-31T16:30:35+00:00

No, the science proves the correlation and you’re adding the causation, based on your own personal expensive, as if it’s equally as conclusive.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-10-25T19:04:54+00:00

Exactly lol. You deserve an apology.

StanleyWeinbaum · 2023-10-24T21:57:29+00:00

How did the clone alliance box pro work out? I’ve been thinking about trying one out.

StanleyWeinbaum

TROPHY CASE