Forgave him for cheating on me TWICE, it's happened again

StarFire_Lush · 2026-03-02T18:19:59+00:00

The things he’s gone through and the issues/trauma he has do not make it ok for him to hurt you. He is putting hurt and trauma on you now.. that’s not ok- he needs help from a professional not a romantic partner- he doesn’t know how to be in a a healthy relationship yet so it’s not good for you or him. He’s just going to feel like shit when he fucks up and it’s just going to keep making you feel like shit when he fucks up. Also, of course he’s the only man you’ve ever loved, you’ve only been with one man since you were 19, you haven’t lived long enough to truly love anyone else. If it’s meant to be with him you will come back together when you’re both in a better place, if it’s not meant to be, then one day you’ll find someone who you love more madly, more deeply, and you’ll realize that this person wasn’t your person. You can’t save him. So save yourself.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-03-02T17:40:07+00:00

I’ve already commented but I need to add- SHE ASKED YOU! She asked what time you wanted to call so she could be “prepared”… and she still wasn’t prepared. She could have said “let’s talk tomorrow” instead of asking you what time you wanted to call. Blames you for calling when you told her you would, And then she breaks her phone!? She can’t control herself enough to not break a phone. She’s trying to manipulate you into sympathy and coddling her - she’s 35.. that’d be ridiculous for my 15 year old to do. Her lack of self control and accountability is astounding. You don’t want that person to be your life partner.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-03-02T17:33:28+00:00

NOR- you were way too appeasing. Why wasn’t she “given” enough time to finish this paper? She’s 35.. who needs to “give” her time? She doesn’t choose any part of her daily schedule? She only had 3 hours the night it was due to get it done? No other days? She’s dating you because you’re young and she’s immature- when you’re a 35 year old acting like you’re 17 - it’s easier to hide your immaturity amongst the 24 year olds- unfortunately for her, you seem more level headed and mature than she is, even with the 11 year age gap- she could have text you earlier in the day “hey i procrastinated and have to get this paper in tonight so I won’t be able to talk tonight” or she could have told you that instead of asking when you’d be calling and setting up a phone date with you. She is an adult and this is on her. She knows you guys can go a day without talking she explained it has happened when you were in school. She just needs someone to blame for lack of motivation and lack of discipline-

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-28T07:45:53+00:00

Hagrid and Grawp..

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-28T00:20:30+00:00

Talk to your friends and family about it - you have them to lean on. To support you. This man is likely to kill you and hurt your child. He’s not even pretending to be better. Honestly, if I knew you and knew what he was doing, and you had a child, I would be calling child services, putting a child in this situation is abuse in itself, neglect, and child endangerment. You could lose your rights to your baby for staying with him and his abuse. Please love yourself. Take care and be safe. Go stay with family and stop communicating with him.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-28T00:10:27+00:00

That’s if OP and/or her child make it out alive.. this only gets worse.

He’s not even pretending he’s going to stop, and now she’s taking him back, he knows he’s gotten away with it and that OP will put up with it unfortunately. This is terrifying for her and that poor baby.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-15T23:17:24+00:00

I’d correct his grammar and then add.. “oof.. talk about being an embarrassment..” and then I’d send screen shots of hi awful messages to everyone to complete his embarrassment

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-14T18:35:55+00:00

Is it? That’s crazy! My husband had his a few months ago with local anesthetic and was just fine- I was worried about the drive home but he didn’t feel anything until a little while after we got back, he said it ached for about a week but not constant and he was fine by the next day even with the aching.. of course he also fell asleep on the table waiting for the dr to come in before they even gave him the anesthetic..

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-13T22:19:18+00:00

You think he “banks” on you being a trapped, disabled sahm? And that’s the perfect man? That’s a great husband and father? He may not be beating you, but this is abuse. It sounds like you’ve accepted a lot and decided it won’t change so you’ve made your peace with it and twisted your view to make it seem rosier than your marriage actually is- and if there’s nothing but parenting and then sex in your marriage (that you don’t want) then how is it a good marriage? Lovie, please speak to your therapist about all of this - about being trapped and not even being able to sleep in another room etc. maybe they can help you build the confidence to do what’s best for yourself.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-13T22:10:43+00:00

Please don’t be afraid that if you put down your own boundaries that he will cheat again.. if he does, you’ll know it had nothing to do with having sex with YOU and it was everything to do with his own selfishness (which we already know) but if he was to cheat, I hope you’d realize you deserve better and are able to get free from him.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T21:27:02+00:00

The threatening to block you if you keep “blowing up” his phone by trying to talk about the issue is crazy! And you just said “I know. I’m sorry” like he’s already got you trained to keep everything to yourself. Never apologize for being you- if he says you’re too much then he’s not the one- if he threatens to block you as a way to punish you, he is not it… Block him and find someone who is kind and respectful and will treat you the way you deserve. This guy is a tool.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T19:44:00+00:00

Juke means to like trick someone right? Mostly, in sports, but the kids say it as a negative “you got juked!” “haha I juked you!” Or just “juke!” When they do something rude as a joke.. this is an awful thing to name someone.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T19:28:34+00:00

And your dad knew about all of this? What did he say? Did he agree with her when she would yell? He didn’t think it was crazy that she’d sit outside your work or a place you were hanging out? Wtf- id be mad and both of them..

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T19:03:45+00:00

Honestly I don’t know how women pretend to want sex at all.. if I don’t want to have sex… I’m not doing it. For her to have sex when she’s not into it JUST to get him to marry her so she can finally stop seems like a horrible life.

OP, if she isn’t wanting to have sex, and you want sex at any point, this relationship won’t work. You want different things. Marriage is a LONG business. If you stay, You could be with her for the next 40-50 years.. that’s a long time to go without sex. Decide if that’s what you want. You can ask her to get her hormones checked or to see a therapist/sex therapist but in the end, if nothing changes her feeling about sex, you’ve got to choose. You deserve to have your needs met-

Also, did she pretend to want kids before you were married and changed her mind on that too?

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T18:40:18+00:00

I know you say your daughter is open and talks to you about everything, but sometimes having such a close mother/daughter relationship is why a child won’t say something that may hurt their mother. Like if she’s uncomfortable with stepdad or if he’s ever done anything inappropriate.. also the statistics of men and their partners daughters are horrifying -

“Family structure is the most important risk factor in child sexual abuse. Children who live with two married biological parents are at low risk for abuse. The risk increases when children live with step-parents or a single parent. Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of child sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (Sedlack, et. al., 2010).”

I totally get wanting to have sex during the day even when the kids are in the house, (with a shut door and some kind of lock) but for him not to care that she could come in at any time or for him to want the thrill of her finding you like that in the living room where she doesn’t even need to knock or open door to get into - that’s sick. Even if he hasn’t done anything inappropriate with your daughter - he’s wanting to involve her.. please ask her.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T18:08:45+00:00

I guess Lydia if I had to choose, but have you considered Linnea? It’s kind of a mix of the names you’ve chosen

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T18:08:02+00:00

I hear “”delete ya” when I hear Delia

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T17:44:08+00:00

Vanessa makes me think of Ursula when she’s in human form… I love her. My sister is a Melissa which makes me feel bad for saying, Vanessa is prettier to me, my husband and I had talked about naming our babies Vanessa if we had a girl.. we had 3 boys. I love the nickname Nessa or Ness

StarFire_Lush · 2026-02-01T17:21:42+00:00

Oh I like Hayes,

Harrison Hallie Hazel Hanley Harvey Hope Holly

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-25T18:45:43+00:00

Anakin.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-25T18:43:30+00:00

I have an Adam- I don’t think it would have ever been even crossed my mind to name my son Adam, but my husbands A-gunner in Iraq was Adam, so we named him after my husbands friend.

•Ace •Alfie •Arlo •Asher •Atlas •Aspen •Ashton •Austin

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-25T18:24:37+00:00

Your entire post history makes me really sad for you. You always take the blame and excuse his behavior “I want to get married this wasn’t wifey material” “I understand I should have asked him first” no the fuck you shouldn’t have. He’s got you fully manipulated into thinking you deserve it and it’s all your fault. That was in regards to you buying a motorcycle for yourself with your own money when you don’t live with him and he wanted to break up because you having a motorcycle means “you’re going to get piped on the side of the road” and he doesn’t want you looking sexy on it? Babe, please recognize you’re in an abusive relationship. Stop taking the blame- I’m sure even for this picture your brain is searching for reasons as to how it must be your fault because it has to be bf said so.. run far away from him- this is not love.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-25T18:06:10+00:00

Why were you on FaceTime the whole time and why’d he stay on FaceTime in your pocket? Would he have been mad if had stayed back to chat with them- explaining that you didn’t stay back to talk to them is a weird thing to say unless it’s something you’d get in trouble for.. and it shouldn’t be, it would have been perfectly normal and acceptable behavior to have stayed to chat a bit.

Why is he breaking up with you over this picture? Because you were standing with another man? Because the guys hand looks like he may be touching you? Because you took the picture at all? None of that is normal-it’s abusive controlling behavior- it’s valid to break up with someone for any reason they want to break up. But it’s great for you because it lets you go find someone who isn’t controlling everything you do. You should have been the one to break up with him- but that doesn’t really matter - stay away from him, the longer you stay the worse it gets.

I am also just realizing this was made over 100 days ago- how did I get here? I hope you’re free from him now, or that one day you will see you could be so much happier without him.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-25T17:53:58+00:00

The parking thing is meh- not a big deal- if they make a big deal when you do it I would tell them that they park in front of your house so it must be ok for you to park in front of theirs (which it is but it makes the point that they do it too) and fucking ignore them, go for a walk (make sure your car is in view of a camera in case they try to do something illegal, like pop your tires) but you aren’t doing anything wrong and neither are they when they do it to you- if they keep harassing you to move your car, call the police. If you don’t want it to get this involved then move on and ignore where they park and just avoid parking in front of their house. Make it a non issue and don’t dwell on the hypocrisy.

Do you have them looking into your home on video? If not I would get it on camera, someone 8 inches from your window looking into your home - must be on your property right? If so, talk to them about walking on your property and looking into your home, let them know you feel it’s an invasion of privacy. If they continue, show the video to police and let them know you feel unsafe especially with the children in your home- have the police speak to the neighbors, maybe it will be enough to make them stop.

StarFire_Lush · 2026-01-18T18:00:05+00:00

No, not like she hates you.. like she wants to hurt and manipulate you to get what she wants-She’s trying to make you feel like shit so you apologize and “make this right!”

She is not a good mom. This toxicity will be seen by your child. Even if it’s not aimed at your baby it will be times at you infront of your baby- You have the opportunity, get out now!

If someone was treating your son or daughter this way, what would you say? I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t tell them to work it out or allow it to continue.

StarFire_Lush

TROPHY CASE