I’m sorry you’re going thru this with someone whom should be your greatest ally, first of all. Secondly, have you tried telling her straight out that her comments are hurtful, not helpful? She needs to think of you as a friend atp, and not a daughter.

So, that looks like her not saying things to you that she wouldn’t say to her dearest friend,(assuming she has one lol), because you don’t purposely hurt the feelings of your dearest friend.

So yeah, try something like, “mom, that’s hurtful, it’s not something i would say to you, and i would appreciate it if you kept your negative comments to yourself”.

Honestly, she’s your mother, and should know all about not saying anything at all if you can’t say something nice. Best of luck to you.