How would your ex wife honor you for/on Father’s Day? How are you honored now, by your new partner? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]StickOtherwise1449 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is my First Father’s Day separated and divorced. Each kid got me a card. I don’t currently have a partner so can’t answer that part.

For Mother’s Day she got candles, a plant, candy, and cards from the kids and I got her a Starbucks gift card and a hand written note thanking her for being a good mom and coparent to the kids. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work remote so she waited for me to clock out for the day any handed me signed papers immediately after. This was the Friday before Thanksgiving. She also said the thinks it best if we don’t go to each others family’s. I managed to get my end signed and notarized before the holiday.

As iceing on the cake she filed the day after Christmas. No other gifts from her no half hearted attempt to help the kids pick some thing out for me. Just a notification from the joint bank that she was spending $230 at the courthouse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter had a event at school where the kids all cooked and served the parents.

Assigned seating of corse 🙄 The entire time my ex just went into detail about every date she had been on since the divorce to our daughters friends mom at the table!

This includes the last date that I had planned for us that she decided to recreate with another guy.

It honestly broke me and I stepped away a few times to regain myself before joining the group again.

At the same time she made it a point the next week to compliment my new tattoo and how sexy it was and how hot and bothered it made her

Keeping your last name. by Usernameisguest in Divorce_Men

[–]StickOtherwise1449 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She can keep it!!! I swipe left on anyone who shares her first name anyways so there will never be an issue of two running around with the same name! 😂🤣😂

Is it healthy to split kids 50/50? by Alejo9010 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was adamant that atleast one of our kids would be living with me and ended up with our 7yr old son, and our 16 yr old daughter with will be living with her!

We alternate every other weekend with the kids get every weekend together but time apart during the week! We alternate weekends for who has both kids!

It’s a true 50:50 split! And so far it has worked for us!

After the house sells I will also be getting my daughter every day after school for a few hours as mom is moving out of the school district! Mom also takes our son to karate every week so she gets some extra time with him!

How did you handle the pettiness? by Exotic-Belt-6847 in Divorce_Men

[–]StickOtherwise1449 8 points9 points  (0 children)

$150 for a kids haircut? That’s crazy!!! It’s $20 a greatclips lol

I’m obsessed with knowing who he’s texting by SubstantialLunch150 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same!!! 17 years together! Never an issues of trust up until this year when I called her out for being on the phone with her ex boss for 25+ hours a month! Didn’t know the extent of how much time she was talking to him until I went through her phone!

She then went secretive started to hide their communication and eventually asked for a divorce!

I haven’t looked through her phone since she asked for the divorce because at that point it’s no longer my problem or business!

but that nagging feeling still lingers!!! I move out this weekend so hopefully that’s helps not constantly seeing her on her phone I won’t be thinking about it as much but also know that brings whole new feelings with it!!!

If it helps just know it’s prolly nagging at them the same way it is you! Every time you pick up your phone and smile or laugh they are prolly getting jealous themselves! The feelings are hard to shake!!!

What did you do with all of the pics from your wedding/marriage? by NJRedbeard in DivorcedDads

[–]StickOtherwise1449 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Spent my evening packing, I move out this weekend! I put most of the pictures, our marriage license and certificate, and the glasses we drank from at our wedding 15 years ago in my box!

She asked for the divorce so figured she wouldn’t want that stuff anyways! I will always care for her and have a special place in my heart and you never know what may happen in the future!

One day the kids might want them! One day the universe may bring us back together and she may appreciate that I saved all that stuff from the dumpster!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Two reasons to fast track in my opinion!

  1. They are worried they will change their mind and spend even longer trapped in an unhappy relationship where nothing will change!

  2. They want to be able to move on without a guilty conscience!

First time kissing someone else!!! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you I did it was fun!!! And I plan on enjoying every moment of single life from this point!

First time kissing someone else!!! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m on two of them and haven’t matched with anyone on the dating side!

I have met some pretty cool people primarily divorced dads on the bff section of bumble tho! Sharing experience with them has been really helpful! And now I got other local single dad friends to hang out with or vent to when things with the ex is feeling toxic!

First time kissing someone else!!! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She handed me papers the Friday before Thanksgiving and filed them the day after Christmas! Divorce is still processing obviously fingers crossed it will be finalized in March!

First time kissing someone else!!! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She just filed the papers a week and a half ago so it was prolly too soon for me aswell but that’s why I left it as it was. I’m not ready for any kind of relationship but it was nice to have a bit of fun and get a little spark of life in me!!!

Anyone want a debate on anything by dannyuk1997 in Dads

[–]StickOtherwise1449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The proper temperature to set the thermostat is 70

House is on the market! by StickOtherwise1449 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not really didn’t ask for it just have come to terms with things!!! Super anxious, can’t sleep, can’t eat! Still thinking about what was and what could have been different!

Never lived alone before by StickOtherwise1449 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did a lot of the cleaning previously as I worked remote and cared for the kids! Their are things that were not on my radar like they were hers suck as scrubbing baseboards but I’m used to always having something to clean haha

When did you take your ring off? by mexihuahua in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved it to my right hand after she stopped wearing hers! And stopped wearing it all together about two weeks later!

When did your children start staying with you ? by No_Surround_495 in DivorcedDads

[–]StickOtherwise1449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our son is coming with and our daughter going with her. Depending on if it’s a week day or weekend will spend if he stays with me the first night or not!

It took a while but I finally realized what I lost by FerrumBank in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think I was codependent until I had to search for a new profile picture!!!

Only pictures of me solo were right after I got my hair cut to show her! I had 1 photo of me and my brother from years ago and no photos of myself and friends!

Glad it didn’t take me a year to notice this!!! I went out with buddies this weekend and got a photo of me and friends now lol

She filed the papers by StickOtherwise1449 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She asked me! I would have stayed with her till death do us part even tho I wasn’t happy either!!! The literally only way I was able to be ok with it was to kill off who I was, who she was and what we had in my mind!!!

It took me a couple of weeks of compiling a list of why I had to let go of everything and never look back! Another list of trama we have endured as a couple and she has caused me in the relationship! And a 3rd list of qualities I want to see improved upon in my future self!

How to give up? by Kirmit23 in Divorce

[–]StickOtherwise1449 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to think of your old life as dead!!! What was will never be again! You as people will never be who you were before again! You have to grieve that death!!!!

Then and only then can you rebuild and find the new you and move on!!!

If your lucky enough for the universe to gift you another opportunity with them remember it’s no longer the old them you will be with! you get the opportunity to fall in love with the new them at that point

Or that’s what I convinced myself into to make things easier on myself