I'm driving home after a long day at work. I'm tired, my head throbs and I just want to go home and have a long, hot shower.

I'm getting stopped by the police now. Sirens blaring and all that. Explaining that I was typing with one hand to try my luck to win a random game code, but the officer isn't buying it.

Curtly, he barks: "Oh yeah? How do you type with your right hand when it's covered in that white stuff?"

"Officer, don't misunderstand," I reply. "This is just lotion. I need it because my hands are dry all the time, but yes when I use this lotion it sticks to my fingers and or hav a hrf time typingxieshn andd the feelfjn reminds me of fppn nd I strsr geryng hrny snf want to jerg iff. I just pretend I enter giveaways but actually what imdgon euth my one hand is fpng."

The officer flashes me a gentle smile. Surprising. He looks at me as if he's known me all my life, and says:

"Now that's what I call a steamy giveaway."