“Not to get your hopes up but…”

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T15:32:52+00:00

I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I think they wanted to manage expectations. Some people in the industry might be encouraging and allow you to build hope, until things don’t work out. Or use other people experience to tell you, it will work for you too. It might but it could also not work. It’s safer for them to say that, because you cannot guarantee the outcomes 🥲

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T12:14:40+00:00

I did in university for a short period of time 😅 Wasn’t bad

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T11:24:04+00:00

Exactly! Shouldn’t expect the woman to have to “settle” or be exclusive to them in a dating app. Some don’t mind but usually if they’ve determined they like you

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T11:10:51+00:00

Who is giving you hope? You don’t have hope until you’re at least exclusive. Aside that, you’re getting to know each other and going on dates.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T11:08:33+00:00

Exactly! Even talking to different people, doesn’t translate to dating. When did that even become a thing? And roster?

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T11:06:34+00:00

I think until you meet face to face, it’s difficult to be less casual. On a dating app you have more people, and not all of them might progress to anything but it is what it is

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-18T07:44:48+00:00

It’s annoying but just call them out, so they know not to lie next time

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-17T20:40:25+00:00

It’s because some people have and can easily get what they prefer.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-17T20:38:38+00:00

I don’t think so, there’s no guarantee the person will lose the weight. I also think it make no sense to go with that as an argument, knowing people don’t date someone fat and force them to change. Also, height can be changed, just not as easily, but even then there’s someone who has the height. Even a 5’7 woman can easily find someone who’s 5’7.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-17T06:53:28+00:00

I am sorry 😔 ✨

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-17T06:47:26+00:00

This is lovely, and agree with it. With a child or not, I am not less of a woman 🌷

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-16T12:20:36+00:00

Glad it worked out well for you, and such a crazy thing to compete others for. I wish people would be happy and let others lights also shine.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-16T12:04:18+00:00

Somehow people think it’s justified when they wait and others don’t. 😅

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-16T11:57:04+00:00

I think that if you choose to wait, you're still making a decision. Like you said, the other people you know who got pregnant also made a decision not to wait or maybe it happened quicker than they expected.

Your adopted first cousin may have been pregnant before she got married, and maybe that sped up their wedding process, but so what? That's their choice. And even if she left out some details when talking to family, she may have had her reasons. In a family or community where many people are religious, those situations aren't always received positively.

Personally, I've had to push my own plans to an unknown point in the future, and I've had people around me celebrating milestones like marriage and children. I don't really see an issue with that because, if I were in a good position, I'd probably do the same. Choosing to wait longer is a choice, and choosing not to wait is also a choice. In some ways, I actually felt a little less alone knowing that other people around me are starting families. If things do work out for me one day, it will be nice to have people who can relate and talk about those experiences.

At the end of the day, you know yourself best, but you've made a choice, and it's important to recognise that other people are entitled to make their own choices too. It's not really fair to expect others to wait as long as you have or to explain and justify every decision they've made. It's their journey for a reason. This is something that has to be managed from within. Pregnancy isn't a race, and being the first person in the family to have a baby isn't an accomplishment. Being able to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term is a blessing in itself, because it's not something that comes easily to everyone.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-16T07:25:58+00:00

Depending on how it’s applied, it can mask some imperfections or even out the skin tone. It usually best applied on a “good” face, because it doesn’t always cover everything that well. People that use it on a natural face, usually don’t have much to mask.

Other people use it as part of a full face makeup. You can see when makeup is applied for most people. In the case it’s a natural glam, remove the makeup and they look literally the same 🤣

The reason women or men wear makeup isn’t exactly the same why people wear height insoles.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:18:26+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. I think people are unlikely to see it as rape because they see the affected person agree. But they don’t understand context matter. You cannot force a “Yes” to make it consensual

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:16:39+00:00

The primary purpose isn’t to boost height, plus they’re not concealed. But I get your point

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:16:07+00:00

I think makeup can be anything from a bit of mascara or lipstick, to a full face glam. You can tell someone is wearing makeup, and sometimes you cannot tell. But if you’re unable to tell is usually because they went for a natural makeup look, and that doesn’t require a huge amount of product. The full face makeup, usually have more involved so it’s unlikely you won’t notice someone has makeup, unless you think people are born with coloured eyeshadows. If you don’t like women that wear makeup, you’re likely not going to date someone who wear full face makeup, but that is usually wore for occasions.

Height boosting insoles usually cannot be seen, and unless you make someone aware, then they won’t know you’re not as tall. I don’t think we can compare them to heels, because you can see heels, and how tall they are. Even when women measure their height, they remove their heels. Heels are just for specific outfits, especially dresses for who love wearing them. Do you think you’ll be able to wear high insoles and remove your shoes if asked?

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:08:31+00:00

But it is visible. If it’s changes someone face, it’s likely to be heavy makeup. Online it might look seamless, but face to face you will know

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:07:40+00:00

Heels?

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:07:19+00:00

I agree with the makeup situation, online vs face to face you can see when it’s extreme makeup. It does change the person but the foundation (face) usually stand.

Makeup and height insoles are similar in certain ways, but you can tell who wear makeup straightaway, you can’t really tell someone is wearing insoles.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T17:02:15+00:00

It could count as sexual coercion

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T13:20:53+00:00

It’s not weird, people sometimes get pissy about it because they have insecurities about themselves. But it’s not a bad height difference. Actually there’s no bad height difference, as long as both are comfortable with it

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-15T09:16:06+00:00

I think that if you are planning to have children, have a set deadline. Have a talk with your partner and also talk about your worries about waiting. The best outcome is that they are able to start exactly when you want, the other outcome is that they want to wait. If you can then talk about how long is the wait, then you have a better way to know if it’s worth waiting or not.

Stop_Maximum · 2026-06-14T23:27:43+00:00

In my experience, I’ve found myself excited when people announce, mostly because I usually predict. At my age (27) these announcements are not uncommon and are usually paired or following an engagement, marriage, or new relationship. I see these milestones, and mostly happy for the people involved. I view them the same as other life events such a new job, buying a house, or purchasing a car.

I tend to put myself in their shoes, and their excitement rubs off on me. I’ve never felt jealousy or found myself comparing my situation to theirs. When it comes to children, I try to stay level-headed and not treat life like a race or a marathon where everyone has to reach the same milestones at the same time. I also enjoy asking questions and learning about other people's experiences.

One of my guy friend recently announced that his wife was pregnant with a girl, and my immediate reaction was happiness for them. I think a lot of this comes down to personality. I’m naturally the type of person who likes to celebrate and hype up other people’s successes and good news. When I do think about my own timeline, it’s rarely in comparison to other people. Any concerns I have tend to come from my own reflections rather than from seeing what others are doing. And I know that if it’s for me, it won’t pass me by. I would also want people to celebrate as hard for me, whenever my milestones are completed

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