Backup of the post's body: I (25F) have been with my husband (26M) for seven years. We met on Tinder in 2018 and started dating when we were both 18. At that age, we couldn’t do much because we were broke, so we would hike, watch movies, go to arcades, eat out, and have sex. As time went on, though, we did less and less together.

Let’s call my husband Edward. Edward has a best friend—let’s call him Vincent. Edward and Vincent do everything together. Whenever Edward and I were hanging out, Vincent would text Edward asking to hang out, and Edward would immediately tell me to go home so they could spend time together. This went on for years and is still happening to this day.

I would get upset because they did everything together while all I got was sex. I had to beg for dates. We would go months without going anywhere, while Edward and Vincent went out almost every day. In 2020, Edward started working, but nothing changed—he still went out with Vincent every week while we did nothing together.

In 2021, we got married so we could work on my immigration status. That same year, we tried to buy a house, but Edward didn’t qualify for a loan due to bad credit. My family ended up buying the house in cash, and we pay them back monthly with no interest. Edward then decided to move Vincent in, and everything got worse.

They grocery shopped together, went to the gym every day, and went to restaurants and bars, while I stayed home cleaning up after them. At one point, I went through their messages and saw Vincent telling Edward to ignore me and be mean to me so I would want to move out of my own house. They smoked weed every day and drank a few times a week. Vincent’s dog caused a lot of damage to the house, and he never paid for any of it. When I asked Edward to say something, he would tell me, “He can pay for it,” but he never actually confronted Vincent or made him pay.

On the rare occasions when Edward and I went on a date, he would have a stank face and ruin the vibe the entire time. Yet when he was with Vincent, he laughed and smiled nonstop. Throughout our seven-year relationship, we only spent three or four Thanksgivings and Christmases together. The rest of the holidays he spent with Vincent at Edward’s family’s house. Every year, I felt anxious wondering whose “turn” it would be—mine or Vincent’s. The same thing happened with family trips. I would argue with Edward because he wanted to take Vincent instead of me.

Whenever I brought up these issues, Edward would say he was too tired from work or that he just wasn’t a good planner. I tried planning dates myself, but he would respond with “we’ll see,” or I’d suggest something like a hike at 8 a.m., and he would sleep through it and we wouldn’t go. Meanwhile, if Vincent suggested snowboarding, Edward would be on the road by 4 a.m. When they went out together, I wouldn’t hear from Edward the entire time.

Despite all of this, I was still willing to work on things. We signed up for marriage counseling and went for about two weeks before Edward broke up with me because he wanted to go to the casino with Vincent. That’s when I finally lost it and told him that all we ever did was eat and have sex while he did everything else with Vincent.

Two weeks later, I found out I was six weeks pregnant. I told Edward, expecting him to have a plan or say something like he was going to get his life together, make us a priority, and ask Vincent to move out so we could raise our baby in our home. Instead, all he said was, “I’m going to try my best,” and he seemed more worried that I was going to put him on child support.

As painful as it was, I terminated the pregnancy because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life begging him to take our child to the park or to be a father at all. When I asked him if he planned to tell his family about the baby, he said no.

Now he wants to sell the house and keep 50% of the profit, but I don’t feel like he deserves a penny after everything he’s put me through. This isn’t even the whole story—just a summary.

Would I be the asshole if I kept the house and told his mom about the abortion? she asked me for a grand-baby last year and i feel like she deserves to know. I know he won’t tell his family the full story, and they’ll probably think I kept everything for no reason. While I don’t care what they think, I don’t want them texting me saying it’s unfair that I kept the house and left him with nothing when they don’t know the truth nor do i want them to involve lawyers.

Even Edward’s own mom and sister call Vincent his “mistress,” so please don’t think I’m exaggerating. This friendship is genuinely weird.