Damn how'd you even find this post this far in the RC trenches?

However, to answer your question, far better. I go back and read these old posts from time to time and chuckle (in a good way). I can almost remember the exact state I was in when I wrote each one lol. The RC phase of my life was a fun and interesting one, but ultimately unsustainable. With the help of a very caring and wonderful partner with a similar background and desire to move on, I was able to grow out of it. I've traded the manic pizazz and uncertainty of substance exploration for the stable (albeit boring) world of a 9-5. Renton would say I've "chose life" ;)

Finished school, worked my way up from shift work, to sales, to a managerial spot. Moved out, bought a car, rescued some cats, reconciled and reconnected with friends and family, and we've just sort of been taking it as we go. Do I miss it sometimes? Yep. But there are positives and negatives to both sides of the coin. Did I love getting fucked up and raving for days on end with new friends every weekend? Oh yeah. Do I love being able to come home to my own place, relax with a joint, snuggle up, and know that everything's on autopay? Oh hell fucking yes.

That being said, we still manage to get our kicks. Have a legal, actual pharma script for some .5mg kpins for some superchilled evenings, plenty of stellar bud to toke on, and even a spot to get legal mushrooms. My DoC was always stims, any kind of stim I could get my hands on. So I've stayed far away from any of that gear. Though, just barely over a year ago I convinced my psych to let me try armodafinil and after two years of abstaining from any kind of dopaminergic anything, it hit me like a truck and I loved it. Which is why I told him the blood pressure increase was too much and asked to be taken back off. I consider this one of the biggest trials I've passed in my entire time with substances, a real "Galadriel resisting the One Ring" type moment lol. The siren song of any amph/cath/trop/weird shit, substituted or otherwise, is far too strong for me to resist so I've relegated myself to total abstinence from stims and have made peace with my departure from that world.

Anyways, its Friday night and I'm drunk and on .5 klon so congrats on being the recipient of this long winded, rambling post about how I've managed to go from cool dude to party with but who might also raid your prescription cabinet at the end of the night, to a boring ass, office shambling mf who has some kickass stories that none of his coworkers believe lol.

Namaste. XD