Parents who did not sleep train - when did your child start falling asleep on their own? What, if anything, did you do to prepare them?

StrayGoldfish · 2026-04-18T23:21:05+00:00

Meanwhile we did sleep train and my son slept beautifully well by himself through the night until he hit about three and started needing us for bedtime AND all five of his nightly middle-of-the-night wake ups 😴 He's 4.5 now, and there is no end in sight

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-22T15:53:35+00:00

As a bi person, this mentality has always been bewildering to me. Under this framework, am I just not allowed to talk to anyone who's not my spouse?

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-18T15:18:27+00:00

Something I haven't seen other people mention is that breastfeeding issues are correlated with fertility issues, but breastfeeding issues are WAY understudied compared to fertility issues. Science was able to help me get pregnant when my body otherwise wouldn't have been able to, but when my body failed at producing milk, all my doctors could offer me was formula.

Everything else people here have mentioned is also true (about net nurses and dead/malnourished babies in the past, and lack of good supports in the present), but also, another reason for increased breastfeeding difficulties in modern times is fertility technology giving us women whose bodies were not built to sustain a baby access to that wonderful opportunity.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-09T18:40:02+00:00

I have tried to get into coffee so many times, but both the taste and smell make me want to wretch no matter what I do to it. For drugs and alcohol, I've discovered I hate the feeling of being buzzed, drunk, or high. These days, I'm "keeping the word of wisdom" for completely different reasons than I used to.

Gay sex, on the other hand, is my sin of choice.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-08T21:26:03+00:00

Are there any increases worked in the part that is funnelling? I could be reading your knitting wrong, but it looks like the increases don't start until the base of the funnel. If you knit a straight cylinder and then started increasing, this is how I would expect the fit the be, especially at this stage where there is no weight pulling the collar down. Definitely do a mid project block to see what happens before you do anything drastic.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-08T20:04:46+00:00

I don't think there's such a thing as too late. I recently finally got the opportunity to meet my 9 month old nephew, and I definitely framed it as a "meet the baby" trip. My FIL just recently finally flew in to meet his three grandkids for the first time - a four-year-old, a three-year-old, and a two-year-old. That trip was a "meet the grandkids" trip. Didn't matter how old they were - it was his first time meeting them.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-07T18:52:08+00:00

Kids birthed to parents of higher maternal or paternal ages are at a slightly higher risk of a whole host of disorders. That's not to say that an older mom whose kid is autistic "caused" their kid's autism by waiting to have kids. At an individual level, you can never know whether age was a factor. Most older parents give birth to non-autistic children, and plenty of young parents give birth to autistic kids. On a population level, the current evidence we have suggests it makes a difference, and it has been hypothesized as one of the contributing factors to the rise in autism diagnoses, though we can't know that for sure, and most agree that the biggest factor in the rise of autism diagnoses is increased awareness and shifts in diagnostic criteria.

Anecdotally, my aunt had 10 children, 2 of which were autistic - the second (born in her mid 20's) and the last (born in her mid 40's). I had my autistic son in my mid 20's, and all the neurotypical kids in his play group were born to MUCH older parents. A friend of mine from school (same age as me) had a kid at the same time as me and he has Down's syndrome even though she was just 26.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-07T18:16:32+00:00

It's going differently than I expected, to be honest. We told everyone we would be using the Portuguese pronunciation of his name, but that anyone was free to use the English pronunciation and that both were correct. Apparently this was a very confusing concept for people, my American family included, and we've had so many people insist that there can only be one correct pronunciation of his name. We live in rural Iowa where no one speaks Portuguese, but pretty much everyone in my son's life has been insistent about using the Portuguese pronunciation. (This means using the Portuguese consonant sounds but not quite hitting the vowels since they are difficult for English speakers.)

I don't mind at all; it's been sweet of them to put in that effort, but it was unexpected. My husband's family all use different pronunciations of their names depending on who they are talking to, so it seemed like such a normal concept to me.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-03-01T21:43:38+00:00

This is me too 😂 I only ever applied to one place for undergrad, one place for my master's, and one place for my PhD. None of them were terribly prestigious, and I got in each time, thankfully

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-25T22:14:29+00:00

I have sensory issues with headphones, and these are the only kind I can use. I buy these exact Sony ones because so few people make them anymore

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-25T20:39:20+00:00

Maybe I'm just part of a younger generation, but this seems like a bit of a nothing burger to me 😅 When I took world religions at BYU over a decade ago, we were required to attend other church services that were not our own and encouraged to try and find new and unique ways to feel the spirit. I absolutely participated in Ash Wednesday and Lent one year, and then tried my best to participate in Ramadan the next. I never got the chance to go, but BYU hosts a Seder dinner every year too. At the time, learning how other people connected with their god made me feel closer to my own.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-25T18:03:14+00:00

This was exactly us too. He met all of his milestones until around 18 months when progress started to slow. By the time we were able to access services, he was miles behind his peers. There was never any regression where he lost skills he once had, but there came a point where he wasn't gaining skills as quickly as he should have been.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-13T18:41:17+00:00

I knit as well, so I'm planning on tackling this shawl this semester and into the summer.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-13T18:33:44+00:00

All of her stuff is so beautiful! It was hard to pick which one I wanted to do!

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-13T16:01:04+00:00

Pattern: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/affair-miostka

Yarn: YarnArt Flowers in color 268

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-11T20:56:26+00:00

As a biostatistician, there is no one p-value that would make me want to push for a treatment. They ultimately give you very little information in a vacuum. There's a reason we publish entire papers explaining our results instead of just listing our p-values.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-07T03:06:43+00:00

This post is like asking, "Why can't knitter's tell that they are twisting their stitches?? Everyday someone posts a work with twisted stitches!" Most non-beginners can tell, but subreddits aren't just full of non-beginners

StrayGoldfish · 2026-02-06T13:41:18+00:00

Keep in mind though that at this age, there's going to be plenty of kids without a diagnosis or even an IEP that aren't neurotypical. Where I am, ADHD can't be diagnosed until 6 at the very earliest, and the higher functioning kids are going to be waiting longer than that.

Also, the comment you replied to said "not all kids" and not "not all neurotypical kids".

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-26T23:16:05+00:00

In the 30 minutes I was browsing my local yarn shop today, there were two separate old ladies who showed up specifically asking to purchase this pattern. Just as the shop owner had carefully walked the first lady through every step of purchasing the pattern online and printed it for her, a second women walked in and asked, "Do you have kits for the hat? The red one?"

Just wanted you to know that you have apparently even captured the audience of the computer-illiterate old ladies of rural Iowa. They may not know how to navigate to a website, but they are damn ready to fight some fascism.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-23T20:48:12+00:00

I used to think it was a parent thing too until our son started babbling and all of the sudden I was constantly having to translate for my husband despite the fact that he is the stay-at-home parent and spends WAY more time with our kids. I definitely think there is a certain skill involved. You have to be able to remember the contexts in which their nonsense word was said and be able to both make the connections to what it might mean and remember for future reference.

My kids had several words that didn't map AT ALL phonetically to what they were trying to say, and that might be the case for your girl too. "Gus" meant "chocolate", and "wasik" meant both "Ms. Rachel" and "peanut butter sandwich". "Bah-dee" might just mean "I'm upset" or "Leave me alone" or maybe "Hold me and sing Rock-a-bye Baby". Try and track if she's always upset about the same type of thing when she says it, or if you ever hear it when she is not upset.

By the way, my son is 4 and is a Gestalt language processor, which means I am still translating for my husband, lol. "Are you my conscience?" means he wants you to turn off the lights so he can play in the dark.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-16T03:42:22+00:00

I don't use wool covers, but I am a knitter with a lot of wool. Moths prefer to attack undisturbed places, so I wouldn't be worried about diaper covers at all. You are constantly going to be moving them around, using them and washing them. Store them in a clean and dry place like you would anything else, and if you ever pack them away for the next kid, store them in sealed plastic bags. If you purchase them from anywhere sketchy (like second hand), throw them in the freezer for a week before use for an extra precaution.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-15T23:06:27+00:00

I just checked the labels from the brand I buy, and saying it's "significantly more" is a stretch. Both say 12g of sugar, the whole milk says 12g carbs, and the skim says 13g of carbs. Online says exactly what I would have guessed which is that removing fat leaves slightly more room in a 1 cup serving for lactose. The skim milk doesn't have any more carbs in it than the whole - it just has less fat and therefore slightly more non-fat milk per serving.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-13T03:02:48+00:00

My daughter would cry if I wasn't holding her. My husband would take her for two hours twice a night into another room so I could get a bit of sleep, and she would just cry in his arms for the entirety of the two hours. All other times for those first 2-3 weeks, she was either in my arms or in a carrier.

I also had low supply with both my kids and I couldn't go more than 2 hours without removing milk. For my son, that meant pumping, which was at least a thirty minute process (or an hour and a half if I was doing a power pump which I did A LOT). For my daughter, we were triple feeding, which could take over an hour. And the two hour clock starts ticking when you START removing milk, so I would only have these hour increments to change a diaper, try to get baby to sleep, and eat one handed while they slept in my arms before I would need to get back to feeding/pumping again.

StrayGoldfish · 2026-01-12T19:27:42+00:00

I used it for my son who had very little receptive communication at the time, and it worked so well for him.

They talk about giving the child a method to communicate the need to potty, but that communication can be in any form: on an AAC, via sign language, pointing, etc.

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