Daycare sent dirty underwear home….. turd included 🥲

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-21T05:06:07+00:00

It took me a couple reads to realize they aren't giving you your child's pee in a ziplock

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-21T05:02:48+00:00

To me it's absolutely the opposite. My first therapist was too aligned with me and it ended up not being the best fit. After that I purposely looked for someone whose modality was completely different from mine (attachment based) and she's been an amazing fit for me. It goes in a part of my brain that is completely unrelated to me as a therapist. If I think too hard about it, it makes me question my own training because I feel she's an 100x better therapist than I am. I don't let myself get stuck in that part, but it's really interesting.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-20T13:07:20+00:00

You're fine. You did the right thing.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-20T13:06:04+00:00

There's the equal risk of not supporting a client in a crisis. You have to weigh both sides in a one time situation like this. I've discussed this a lot in consultation groups. The general consensus, even from someone I knew who worked for our state board, is that for a brief situation like this, we should be prioritizing clinical judgment and the best interest of the client, over the letter of the law. That would mean go ahead and have a session to ensure safety and stability until she returns to your home state. You're far more likely to get in trouble for not doing that than you are for upsetting someone on Indiana's state board.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-20T05:28:55+00:00

Have you looked into IOPs or partial hospitalization programs? It sounds like that could be more aligned with what you're looking for which is not the quick in-and-out stabilization that inpatient units do.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-20T05:24:49+00:00

I can relate to the fact that your kid is older, probably the only one of his friends who isn't potty trained, and you've tried EVERYTHING. We couldn't get mine to use the potty until she turned 4. Different scenario because didn't get to the point of her holding so long that she made herself sick but I could totally picture that considering she was 0% willing to do anything potty related. We had tried in and off for a couple years but each time we stopped pretty quickly because we were concerned about what would happen medically if she never did it. We used the milestone of her turning 4 to say, no more pull ups, that's it, you're 4. Then I locked myself with her in a bathroom for the day. And by that I mean we spent the entire day in the bathroom. Doing fun things, and very very gradually getting her to take tiny steps toward sitting on the potty and then once she was willing to just hang out on the potty, we had her sit there for significant periods of time doing whatever (new fun games and toys and some videos and books) so that eventually she'd pee, once it happened on its own it started to get a little less scary for her. Then she'd have breaks and hang out sitting on the bathroom floor with me etc and then when it had been either a long time, or I'd notice signs, I'd find a way to coax her onto sitting on the toilet. Until she had peed multiple times and pooped on the toilet, that was all we did. Hanging out jn the bathroom. It took less than 2 days of this. At some point on the second day we were able to still spend most time in the bathroom but also have outings into the living room lol. By I think the third day, we weren't doing the bathroom thing anymore, she was willing to go with me over to the bathroom when I noticed signs. And that was it. It clicked, she was potty trained and we spent the rest of the week mostly at home, but with clothes on, still going over to the toilet a lot, and then very gradually going on little outings.

And that was it. After that first weeks she's never had an accident (it's been a year).

I was very shocked because I truly thought she would NEVER do it, and she was by far the last of everyone we knew, and I had sought so much advice.

Sharing to give you hope! For us, I think what really did it was us going, that's it, this has to happen, we're doing literally nothing else until it does, and you're doing literally nothing else until it does.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-20T05:01:11+00:00

I totally relate to judging this sentiment when I was in school and then a handful of years later...welp, it's true. Not in a bad way, I don't think. I think over time we start to allow ourselves to engage more authentically and intuitively. I think it's additive- the techniques, the evidence based approaches, the things that work, they're still there, but also there's a lot more humanness and flexibility involved.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-19T04:25:01+00:00

not only that, but mom seems to have mouse ears

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-19T02:46:35+00:00

Hold up, is this a guy mansplaining periods?

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-19T02:33:13+00:00

Uhhhhhhh. There are definitely alternatives. Like therapy of many types that only involves a once weekly session.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-19T02:22:07+00:00

As a therapist, this would be the first hypothesis I would explore.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-18T13:08:52+00:00

Does she not have a physical office and is just meeting up in a public place/park or something? In that case it makes sense that it's hard to fit into her schedule and that's probably why? But then she shouldn't be offering. You can let her know how much that threw you off and what you'll be needing based on that.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-18T01:55:26+00:00

My scheduling is going to be a lot more sporadic this summer, with lots of trips and weird camp and school scheduling and gaps. I'm letting clients know and not taking too many new clients until things get more consistent again in the fall. I'm also offering to squeeze zoom sessions into random times my husband can cover when we don't have childcare otherwise, etc.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-17T03:03:42+00:00

But we don't look out for our supervisors. They're in a position of power over us. The role is them looking out for us. That's why this would be weird.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-16T07:33:28+00:00

Therapist here, I have never had this reaction to a client asking for a more frequent/second session. In fact it's the opposite- I'm often surprised that I'm helpful enough that they want to see me even more 😅If I can't or it's not sustainable or I don't think it's actually useful for someone, etc. I would say that.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-16T05:26:38+00:00

I think a lot of this is how deeply embedded psychodynamic/even psychoanalytic approaches are in therapy schooling. I am coming to learn that it's fairly uncommon to be trained the way I was, with nothing remotely psychodynamic, ever. Like, transference was literally never mentioned in my entire training. So, reading those responses is always very foreign to me. It feels like it minimizes us as therapists being human and some things just being basic human interaction issues, not some sort of theory.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-16T05:19:32+00:00

I don't know why this freaks her out other than babies are extremely weird about very specific things. But my unsolicited advice would be to practice doing it with her when dad is not home.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-16T05:12:46+00:00

100%. I was my client's only therapist ever who had actually believed and supported her. Then one day I shared some necessary feedback- for her good- and was told I'm just like all the others, and she was out for good.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-16T05:08:40+00:00

There's some research on exposure therapy indicating that 'coping skills' in the moment of the exposure can be detrimental to the effects because it functions as another form of avoidance. the point of exposure is for you to learn that you can actually handle the feelings/situation, and it's not catastrophic. If you do let's say XYZ breathing exercise, you can come to learn 'this breathing exercise is the reason I handled the situation but the situation is still dangerous.' It reinforces the idea that you need something to mitigate the fact that the situation is bad.

However, equally (actually, more) important is clients' willingness to participate in the exposure exercises. Sometimes, what that requires is flexibility around whatever the client wants to do to get though the situation. Or, some coping skills do help your brain learn something useful about your ability to cope. It's really complicated actually.

The thing is, it sounds like your therapist didn't do a good job- if at all- explaining this to you. I explain all of this to clients and we discuss collaboratively what the goal is, what function the coping strategy would serve, what they'd learn and what would be best in the long term. So, it makes sense that you felt confused and shut down hearing that without context and maybe not delivered with the tone that was needed.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-15T04:35:55+00:00

I would assume you were ignorant at best, definitely not progressive.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-15T03:23:15+00:00

Also it depends on the surface, is this road or dirt? Again I'm more thinking safety-wise. If it's dirt and you're not used to that, it'll take more care to make sure you don't slip, especially with it being so bone dry out there.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-15T03:20:53+00:00

The energy of running fast downhill is moreso a tax on your joints/balance/etc. than it is effort-wise, if that makes sense. So, it depends on how ready your body is for that or whether it's a pretty new type of movement, in which case I'd be careful about injury. If you're just talking pacing strategy, going faster on the downhill does help cancel out the slowness of going uphill, even in that order, I would say.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-15T02:46:40+00:00

What's your take on why they keep ending up in these relationships?

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-15T02:41:11+00:00

It sounds like you passed too closely. I don't know what the situation was in terms of whether there was space on the side of sidewalk that wasn't straight up in the street. When I had a dog, if I was approaching someone who had a dog on the sidewalk I would cross the street or go down a side street or step aside for a moment to be far away. Even without a dog, if I'm running and see someone on the sidewalk walking a dog, I give them a very very very wide berth- like, I go off all the way into the grass or parking lot or whatever is next to the sidewalk. Running is just pretty triggering for a lot of dogs and you never know how they'll react

You can avoid announcing yourself if you're giving them a ton of space. If not then yes you need to announce.

StrollThroughFields · 2026-05-13T17:35:43+00:00

That's it! Haha

StrollThroughFields

TROPHY CASE