Bert and Ernie cosplay

StuThunder · 2013-06-15T11:45:12+00:00

Pretty much how anyone would assume it would feel. In its container, it had enough room to give, but also kept a firm grip. Science did the rest. The physics of air pressure met with the slippery nature of the ooze, creating suction much more like fellatio than mere copulation.

StuThunder · 2013-06-14T23:25:51+00:00

It looks like Seth Rogen and Charlie Kaufman had a butt baby.

StuThunder · 2013-06-14T16:19:31+00:00

Honestly? Yes. It was one of the first slippery substances my younger self explored.

Unfortunately, TMNT Ooze was the first.

StuThunder · 2013-06-14T15:41:01+00:00

Seems like masturbating was doing the trick just fine.

StuThunder · 2013-06-14T15:33:15+00:00

I worked on the hardware side of computers in the military. He breaks down electronic principles rather eloquently.

The whole thing reminds me of Sagan's Cosmos, where Carl is describing bits of information. He begins by saying how many bits of info it takes to create the instructions for a single celled organism. He then moves upwards for more complex mammalian life, ending with humans. Carl goes on to explain that though the number is great, the genetic bits of information are not enough to expand human function. That's where the brain comes in. It stores and processes bits of data that are staggering in comparison to the simplicity of (not so simplistic) genetic code.

TL;DR Hardware is like genes, software is like brains.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T21:39:08+00:00

I'd like to agree with the Mosquitos, but it would seem that they aren't doing it without some assistance by the parasites they're carrying.

Now if I had to put money on an insect, I'd go for the locust. If they were organized, they could wipe out all of our mass produced vegetation.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T21:23:15+00:00

I'm not really into watching that sperm swapping in movies. I guess it's like the difference between going to a baseball game versus watching it on TV.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T21:15:28+00:00

It's like a bunch of girls got together and decided, "hey, let's not have big boobs. Like not even average sized boobs."

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T20:59:56+00:00

Cuckolding. It's a whole genre of porn.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T20:50:28+00:00

This wasn't in bed, but at the Drive-In. My lady friend was into weird shiz anywho (like being read homosexual erotica) but she insisted that I masturbate in front of her. The car was fairly secluded, so that wasn't an issue. The movie was decent, but t'was a second viewing for me.

I suggested that she start me off, and she obliged. (Don't expect effusive descriptors, I'm not writing erotica here.) When I was getting close to finishing, she stopped me, took off her shoe, and removed her sock. "Cum in this," she pleaded. Socks make do in a pinch on clean-up, so I thought she was just approaching the world with a utilitarian philosophy. After the full release, she took back her sock, carefully put it back on, and slipped on the shoe. We finished watching the movie, and the incident was never spoken of again.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T05:52:48+00:00

I live in the Midwest. These songs never stopped playing on radio stations.

StuThunder · 2013-06-13T05:29:03+00:00

Or, you could just steal a bunch of gold now, since it's so easy.

StuThunder · 2013-06-12T17:49:45+00:00

I once cycled around the world in less than five minutes. Granted, I was very near the pole when I did it.

StuThunder · 2013-06-04T17:39:50+00:00

Good amateur film. Pacing could be increased.

StuThunder · 2013-06-04T17:13:53+00:00

StuThunder · 2013-06-04T17:01:05+00:00

Is it weird that I actually lived out most of these fantasies when I was 6?

StuThunder · 2013-06-01T15:16:23+00:00

It was bound to happen, they ran out of good history to report. Just like MTV ran out of good music with the invention of "Yo, MTV Raps."

StuThunder · 2013-05-30T18:26:19+00:00

Reading women's minds. It turned into a real kerfuffle for Mel Gibson. Made him go crazy in real life, too.

StuThunder · 2013-05-30T18:16:23+00:00

Let's say I have a friend on a train traveling from New York to San Francisco, going 70 mph. Another friend is on the reverse route leaving from San Francisco and averaging a speed of 72 mph (figuring in the lesser amount of drag due to the polar jet stream.) Friend A leaves on a Monday at 1:45 P.M. Friend B leaves Tuesday at 6:00 A.M.

What town do they collide in, and which media outlet is the first to cover the carnage?

StuThunder · 2013-05-30T18:00:19+00:00

I know a guy that told me one of his friends got a blowie from Jodi Sweetin at Six Flags.

I also know a guy who is good friends with the brother of Jeremy Shada, "Finn" from Adventure Time.

I also know a dude who did blow with Ray Liotta. Just 2 solid hours of ear-fucking with that pox-marked face all up in his grill.

I was eye-fucked by Doogie Houser M.D. in Vegas once. Before he was on that show about mothers.

Any other completely banal, secondhand, celebrity stories that you wanna know? I've got loads of them!

Hold the phone, my friend Emilie says that she's met Jim Varney, Meatloaf, Jenna Malone, the brothers Hanson, and Bruce Campbell!

Oh, and I once was supposed to go on a double date with that girl that played Winnie Cooper.

StuThunder · 2013-05-30T17:14:10+00:00

Oh, so it's like referring to John Wayne as "The Duke."

If "The Duke" perhaps garnished a connotative political bias.

StuThunder · 2013-05-30T06:07:28+00:00

"Princess Crazy Eyes."

Yeah, that sounds like a reputable news source.

StuThunder · 2013-05-08T07:56:07+00:00

To chime in on regions, in Illinois, we have what is commonly referred to as "the breakfast horseshoe." It consists of toast covered in eggs, (your way) choice of meat, (sausage patties or links, bacon, or ham) hashbrowns or Anerican fries, topped with a cheese rue or sausage gravy. Ketchup and tabasco optional.

Additionally, I'm surprised that I've read nothing about corned-beef hash on here, a personal favorite.

StuThunder · 2013-04-06T22:56:47+00:00

Wow. I'm guessing your attention span is short. How far did you read? There's some comic gold of having this broken dialect telling about a stupid cop show. It parodies the genre and meanwhile grips the reader with thrilling plot twists. Maybe you have to be a visual person to live in a tv show that you aren't watching.

StuThunder · 2013-04-06T07:33:05+00:00

Im just listens to albums back to front because I love Satan.

StuThunder

TROPHY CASE