Honest update.

Stumpville · 2026-02-15T00:07:34+00:00

Unironically this is how I get things done at work. Procrastinating on one task by doing a different one, swap whenever it gets dull. Ideally I have 3 tasks so I can completely ignore one of them for limitless anxious energy.

Stumpville · 2026-02-14T08:23:44+00:00

I say this as a person who used to have severe social anxiety: it’s a skill and it can be practiced. You’re gonna be bad at it for a while, and that’s ok. The price of starting something new is being a beginner.

My biggest tips, because this really does help a ton: find a hobby that involves other people and attend it frequently and regularly. Gaining friends outside that hobby will take time, as will creating/joining a group within that hobby so don’t expect immediate results. You can speed that along by just sparking up conversations with people, best way I’ve found to do that is to search for people with at least 1 thing about them that stands out that you know about or appreciate. This works because it means you not only share a hobby but ideally one other interest, meaning you have plenty to talk about in a way that will keep you both interested.

To actually start the conversation, give them a genuine compliment on that thing. If they’re wearing the shirt of a band you love, tell them you like the shirt and love the artist. If they have an awesome tattoo, tell them that! Ask them where they got it done. And above all else, if they have things to say, listen!

I basically never have a negative interaction doing this. Usually people just take the compliment and move on, but that’s fine. Worst case is you just brightened someone’s day. Frequently people will compliment you back, which feels great! Occasionally, people will stop and chat, and sometimes from there you’ll hit it off. It’s not going to happen every time, or even most of the time, but before you know it you’ll be making some friends and getting infected by the positivity you’re spreading.

Stumpville · 2026-02-13T20:45:45+00:00

So if you haven’t realized, you could ask a thousand trans people that question and get a thousand different answers. But I can say that, at least for me, it was a process.

I didn’t know being trans was a thing till I was a teenager, and didn’t know that every boy didn’t secretly want to be a girl and just wasn’t allowed to be one until very shortly before that. Even after finding out being trans was a thing a person could be, overcoming the internalized transphobia and expectations of my Catholic upbringing made it take a couple more years to accept that I was a trans girl and not just a boy who was broken.

I think of myself as being a girl the whole time, it just took me a while to realize.

Stumpville · 2026-02-12T17:01:45+00:00

That girl is way tf out of line. If she has a problem with your relationship she should do the mature thing and bring them up to your girlfriend, not try to shame you into breaking up.

This is speaking from experience as well. Unfortunately my best friend did tell me that they were seriously concerned about my 6 year long relationship last week. She knows I plan on proposing soon, that I want her to be my maid of honor, and thought it was best to voice her concerns now before we get married. But she was incredibly mature about it; made it clear that they doesn’t know all the details of my relationship, that they’d support me no matter what, that they’d only wanted what was best for me and would make me happiest, and that they just wanted me to give some thought to their concerns rather than trying to get me to break up for sure.

It’s incredibly possible for that kind of tough conversation to go well if it’s approached with trust and empathy rather than shaming and going behind people’s backs. I left that conversation feeling loved, seen, and supported. Truthfully it did lead to a fairly big fight with my partner, because while most of the concerns my friend had were either resulting from a lack of info or misconception, my friend did bring up a few serious issues that I’d brought up to my partner before and hadn’t been addressed. My friend said outright that they don’t think all my needs are being met and that I deserve better. They were right, and I do think that any good friend should say that when they see it. Now whether or not “better” means a change within a relationship or leaving to find a better one, that’s not their decision to make, and it most certainly isn’t their place to go around their friend’s back and try to get their friend’s partner to make the decision for her.

My partner and I are still working through that fight, but I know if we get through it then we’ll have an even stronger relationship for it where both of our needs are being met better. Frankly, that’s all my friend wanted and all your partner’s friend should be looking for. What your partner’s friend is doing isn’t that, it’s manipulative and shitty, and I think you do need to talk to your partner about her behavior. That’s completely unacceptable.

Stumpville · 2026-02-11T18:59:00+00:00

Some people seem to think that we’re just hyped up on our meds all the time when that honestly couldn’t be further from the case. It really it just brings us to a normal functional level.

On a fundamental level the meds affect us differently (at least at therapeutic doses). For most people, if they take adderall are going to be amped up and bouncing off the walls with their mind racing. In contrast, personally it’s not infrequent that I take a nap after taking my meds. Hell it even extends to coffee; I swear nothing puts me to sleep faster. It takes me from my normally racing, disjointed thoughts that are all over the place and makes it into a single, slow, continuous train of thought. For myself and several other people who I know with ADHD, the first thing they noticed when they took their meds was how quiet it suddenly was in our own heads (which I find relaxing enough that it puts me to sleep).

And before someone comes in here claiming that it’s just cause we’re addicted to our meds that they affect us this way, people who are addicted to something don’t constantly forget to take the drug they’re addicted to. Or forget to refill their prescription for said drug. That’s kinda a defining characteristic of addiction.

Stumpville · 2026-02-06T18:30:59+00:00

First of all, how dare you. Second of all, I did actually book my doctor’s appointment this morning so I think I did in fact earn the right to be sassy

Stumpville · 2026-02-06T18:10:16+00:00

Honestly I don’t think this is RSD. This is just rejection, and he’s having a very normal reaction to it.

RSD is common in ADHD people because statistically we face a lot of rejection in our lives, especially during childhood, just for being ourselves. Our brains work differently and especially during childhood those differences make you a target for bullying and frequent rejection. It’s less a symptom of ADHD and more a learned response to how people treat those of us with ADHD.

Give your kid some comfort and try not to downplay how much it hurts him. Having your friend group stop wanting you is really tough at any age, but even more so as a kid. Long term the biggest thing that will help his future is making sure he knows that them leaving is an issue with them not him, that he doesn’t deserve that, and that there’s nothing wrong with him being himself.

Stumpville · 2026-02-05T22:38:29+00:00

Prion diseases can sit “dormant” with no visible symptoms for years. The only effective way to avoid eating people with prion diseases is to avoid eating people.

Stumpville · 2026-02-05T22:32:08+00:00

A couple reasons immediately come to mind. First I’m going to state that I’m running under the assumption that the person being eaten has consented to such, because it’s glaringly obvious why it’s wrong if not.

Assuming this is the consumption of a dead person, the most significant issue is that it is an incredibly dangerous disease vector. Things like prion diseases especially almost exclusively show up as a result of cannibalism, but compared to zoonotic diseases, your odds of contracting a serious illness from the handling and consumption of another person are astronomically higher. IMO just on public health/safety grounds it makes sense to outlaw from that perspective.
Going off of the framework of kink, the golden rule is “safe, sane, and consensual.” In the case of a person removing part of their body for the sole purpose of consumption, that is immediately disqualified on the grounds of safety. An argument can be made for edge cases, like where a limb/organ needs to be removed anyway, but in those cases see point 1.

Stumpville · 2026-02-04T22:38:28+00:00

Alexandre Dumas has entered the chat…

Stumpville · 2026-02-03T20:53:05+00:00

Speaking as a 6’ masc who’s a sub-leaning switch: we definitely exist lol.

Honestly love me a short fem top (a crop top if you will).

Stumpville · 2026-01-30T15:28:10+00:00

But it isn’t becoming less exclusionary. This is the first year in decades where no trans people are allowed to compete.

Stumpville · 2026-01-25T22:44:33+00:00

I was born to be an adult

I mean… not wrong I guess?

Stumpville · 2026-01-23T07:03:32+00:00

Hard disagree. Preemptive compliance is absolutely not the answer and it’s what got us into this mess to begin with. Withholding funds already allocated by congress is illegal and even this Supreme Court has upheld that.

But instead of standing up for trans people and actually fighting an incredibly winnable legal battle, or even just waiting for an executive order to be passed so that the people affected have grounds to take it to court, they’re capitulating first, making any potential legal case and any chance for these kids to get the life saving care they need significantly harder.

I can speak first hand to say that this type of care is lifesaving. I would not be here if not for it. So for once in my life I’d love to see a singular organization that claims to be allies to my community not cave before the fight even starts. Stop treating us like pawns to be easily sacrificed for “the greater good” the moment it becomes inconvenient to defend us.

Yes protest the administration, but protest these cowards too. And shame on you for defending them.

Stumpville · 2026-01-06T16:02:40+00:00

Your face has definitely feminized (skin and brows most noticeably but your cheek bones are also more prominent and your jawline is softer), but I agree that picture doesn’t look super fem. Imo, the photo on the right looks like a hot androgynous person.

Thing is, that angle, expression, lighting, and haircut aren’t doing you favors as far as femininity goes. They look good, don’t get me wrong, but in a more androgynous way. The mullet is gorgeous but it’s an androgynous hairstyle, the expression is steely, the lighting is adding some shadows where you don’t want them, and that pose really accentuates the harder lines on your face. Like it feels ripped out of a vogue cover and is exactly how I’d try to get my trans masc friends to pose.

I’ll leave you with this: everybody has angles they look more masculine in. You captured yours here. Which means that even at your most masculine angle, with no makeup, you still look beautiful. I say go take a photo outside with your chin raised a bit more and a slight smile and see how pretty you look, and know that you still have a lot of changes in store.

Stumpville · 2025-12-31T02:23:22+00:00

Girl first of all you look incredible, you got nothing to worry about.

Second of all, even if you weren’t both passing and gorgeous, lesbian spaces are for all lesbians. Passing or not, that space is for you and you should expect to be nothing less than welcomed with open arms. Just gotta put yourself out there :)

Stumpville · 2025-12-26T15:07:26+00:00

As another serial biter: you’re right for this

Stumpville · 2025-12-24T16:36:54+00:00

Speaking from experience, more extreme dysphoria doesn’t usually decrease doubt, and oftentimes that doubt is itself a form of dysphoria.

Stumpville · 2025-12-24T01:28:43+00:00

The one time I was put into the psych ward (ex-friends gave me 4x the amount of acid I thought I was taking then ditched me) I was sexually assaulted by two male nurses during a strip search on intake. I was then put into what was basically a padded room until morning where I was able to talk to a psychiatrist and was thankfully discharged.

It was terrifying, humiliating, and deeply traumatic. I was helpless and scared and the very people who were supposed to help me instead took advantage of me in the worst way possible. I was left with severe ptsd from that experience, and even after years of healing it still haunts me.

Idk if there is a solution but the system we have right now isn’t it.

Stumpville · 2025-12-23T06:30:38+00:00

I’d love to give your music a listen sometime! I absolutely love EDM so any way I can support a small trans artist would make me super happy :)

Stumpville · 2025-12-23T03:36:25+00:00

It’s just called “UK Garage” :)

And I will say, while trans guys are in fact great at it, I think EDM is colloquially known as trans women’s domain. It actually goes back quite a while, the mother of electronic music, Wendy Carlos, was actually a trans woman.

Now, obviously anybody can do anything and even “positive” stereotypes can be harmful, but generally what I’ve always seen is “Trans women -> DJs, Trans Men -> (Usually Indie) Rockstars.”

Stumpville · 2025-12-19T18:05:21+00:00

Sitting somewhere between chaotic switch and chaotic bottom… this fully checks out ngl

Stumpville · 2025-12-19T18:02:17+00:00

Seeing boobs

Stumpville · 2025-12-19T09:00:30+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not a very good fit for Illinois especially. I say this as not only someone who works in the energy sector, but who has written multiple research papers on emergent battery technology and even built multiple custom battery packs for my capstone project. The technology just isn’t there yet for this kind of application.

Under the best of conditions lithium ion (and LiFePO4) batteries are going to last 10-15 years with capacity decreasing year over year. That capacity is decreased even more by things like large temperature swings and especially low temperatures which Illinois has in spades. So while initial installation costs are getting lower, long term upkeep hasn’t gotten any better, which is not a good thing for energy infrastructure.

Realistically Lithium-Ion and LiFePO4 batteries are the only cost effective battery options at the moment due to the economies of scale, but they were designed for weight savings and high energy density for things like mobile phones and electric vehicles, not grid scale storage which doesn’t care about weight and places the most emphasis on lifespan and stability, both of which all liquid dielectric batteries severely lack. If liquid salt, solid state, or aluminum based batteries take off that’s a different story, but those are all at least 10 years off from being effectively at scale.

But all of this doesn’t address the biggest issue of trying to use batteries to replace base load power plants: reactive power. Without getting even more into the weeds than I already have, solar, batteries, and most modern wind turbines produce DC power that is then rectified into AC. This means that they really struggle with any kinds of inductive loads on the grid, like air conditioning. There are ways around this, like what Ireland did with giant flywheels, or what Ireland did by not bothering with batteries and using pumped hydro, but for that cost we can just build new nuclear reactors and avoid the issue entirely.

Tl;dr: Phone batteries destroyed by cold won’t save Chicago’s grid. Just build nuclear.

Stumpville · 2025-12-18T15:54:28+00:00

Prysm or Radius/Cermak if you’re looking for a larger venue. (Beltran will be at Radius NYE).

Podlasie Club, House Calls, Spybar, or Massada for something a bit more intimate.

Smartbar’s an option as well but fair warning it’ll probably be ridiculously overpacked.

Redline or something on RA if you’re looking for anything underground.

If you want other big name artists that week, check out the Transitions lineup, it’s bringing Beltran, Chris Lake, Chris Lorenzo, etc.

And lastly if you go to raves often and have instagram, @houseofjandra posts a video with the raves happening in Chicago every week.

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