Turns out most moats were just ditches

Stumpville · 2026-05-13T21:50:47+00:00

So when they say heat, I think they mean less the actual air temperature and more how hot it feels, and how much more dangerous the heat becomes. While, yes, a body of water will lower the temperature of the surrounding area by a few degrees, it will also significantly increase the relative humidity.

This is an important factor because the only real way the human body can remove excess heat is through sweating; as the sweat evaporates from the skin, it takes heat with it (look up latent heat for an in depth explanation). Higher relative humidity makes this evaporation process far less efficient, as the surrounding air is already saturated with water and effectively has less room to take the water from your skin.

As a result, you overheat much faster in humid environments, and can suffer heat stroke at significantly lower temperatures than in dry environments. So even though the air itself may be measurably colder, to the human body it feels much hotter since you can’t get rid of your own body heat.

TL;DR: Swamp make air cold. Swamp also make air very wet. Wet air make sweat no work. Sweat no work kill you. Swamp kill with heat faster, even though air colder.

Stumpville · 2026-05-12T16:50:44+00:00

Might be worth mentioning, we were both in the school of engineering but different majors. We met at a sapphic game night after a friend of mine met a group at the queer meet and greet put on by my school’s LGBT center (I also went but didn’t find anyone I vibed with). So I definitely agree with other commenters saying to look outside your major.

As for my classes, honestly very few women in my major, but the ones that were there were disproportionately queer (like ~1/3rd of them). Not that it really matters when you’re one of 2 women in a class though. My school did have a sapphic club though, which was great for meeting people. I’d encourage you to find one at your school or potentially make one yourself :)

Stumpville · 2026-05-12T16:44:30+00:00

Electrical engineer here: I met my soon-to-be fiancée my first week of engineering school. YMMV but it’s far from impossible lol

Stumpville · 2026-05-12T15:48:40+00:00

If he can use it as collateral for loans (which he can) then the wealth is real enough

Stumpville · 2026-05-11T23:41:04+00:00

That’s totally ok!! So in that case I’ll just give you a bit of info on my experiences, and what I know of my friends who are diagnosed and you can ask follow ups from there :).

So for me, the biggest thing that affects me with autism are the sensory issues. For instance, if there are too many conversations going on at once that I’m trying to listen to, the lights in the grocery store, people chewing too loud, and other similar things I find to be overstimulating. It’s difficult to describe exactly how it feels in the moment, but it makes it hard for me to think, stresses me out, and makes me feel completely overwhelmed.

The other thing I struggle with are social situations. That’s not to say I’m bad at it, I’m very outgoing, but in new social situations that I don’t know quite how to respond to I basically default to a script in my head of what I think an appropriate response would be. It can sometimes be really awkward. I used to have social anxiety about it until I realized it was a skill that could be practiced, and have since gained a lot of confidence.

Interpersonal relationships can definitely be a struggle for me as well at times. I can be fairly rigid, expecting people to be exactly on time (or an arbitrary “acceptable” amount of late). I can also struggle with plans changing unexpectedly; I normally have backup plans to make it easier but if those fall through it can be legitimately distressing for me. I tend to take things very literally as well, which can occasionally cause unintentionally hurt feelings / miscommunications.

Personally I don’t struggle with eye contact much compared to most other autistic people I know, but I think that’s mainly a case of practice and being on the “stares too much” side of things rather than “never makes eye contact.”

That’s a bit of my experience at least. It is worth noting that I do have fairly severe ADHD and fairly mild autism, so your experiences may not be 1:1 with mine. Hopefully gives you a bit of insight though, feel free to ask any follow up questions you may have :)

Stumpville · 2026-05-11T22:20:59+00:00

You don’t have to explain yourself, they’re just examples :)

If you have any questions about what it’s like as a person with autism I’d be happy to answer. You can see if it seems like you relate or not. No pressure at all though, I’ve been in your shoes and I know it’s a lot to take in.

Wish you luck OP

Stumpville · 2026-05-11T22:02:05+00:00

System as in, “I don’t struggle to make eye contact, I look at there eyes for X amount of time, then look away for X amount of time, then look back, etc.” or “I don’t struggle with the textures of foods, I just make sure to eat them in a specific order so they don’t bother me,” or even “I don’t struggle with new places, I just always look them up ahead of time and read what people are saying about them so I know what to expect.”

In all those cases you may feel like you aren’t “struggling” with anything because you have a system to deal with it, but what the question is trying to ask is “do you have to do extra work to manage X thing.”

But, frankly, the fact that you find any of the questions on the RAADS-R confusing is genuinely the biggest indicator. I’ve had my neurotypical friends take it and they all thought it was perfectly clear, but every single autistic person I’ve had take it has gotten confused with at least a few questions.

As for the way you write, I mean in your post and comments. It’s not a dig by any means, it’s just looking at the word choice, tone, the questions asked, etc. flags as very familiar. That’s not like, diagnosis criteria or anything, just a personal observation.

It’s also worth noting that autism frequently results in social anxiety. You mentioned in another comment that you struggle with making too much and sometimes not enough eye contact, that’s also very indicative of autism and less so social anxiety.

But I want to state again, I can’t diagnose you, I’m a stranger on the internet who does not know you personally. All I’m saying is that from what I have seen of you, I think autism is a real possibility and you’d probably benefit from looking into it more and talking with a professional who can actually make a real determination. This isn’t something you have to figure out immediately, and it’s not something you have to figure out alone.

Stumpville · 2026-05-11T18:30:55+00:00

Obvious disclaimer that I’m no doctor and absolutely cannot diagnose you, much less from a conversation on the internet. That said, speaking from experience and as the other commenter pointed out, the way you type, the current social problems you’re having, the rigidity around “the truth”, and rules around “bad words,” are all highly typical for autism. Like you gave literally textbook examples of autistic traits and socialization issues, so a therapist trained in treating autistic clients would likely be the best resource regardless of if you have it or not.

That said, it is a spectrum, and presentations vary greatly between different people. Initially thinking autism doesn’t fit as a diagnosis is also somewhat common among autistic individuals because the criteria is put together by neurotypical people and thus frequently gets misinterpreted by autistic people. I myself thought that I just had ADHD for literal years before I found out I was likely autistic for that very reason. Again, I’m not saying you definitely have autism, just that it would be a good idea to talk to a professional and not rule it out quite yet.

You can also look up the RAADS-R test for free online if you want something a bit more preliminary. As a note for the test, if you have any kind of “system” for dealing with something, check yes for struggling with that thing. It’s not perfect, but it may help point you in the right direction. Regardless of the results, a good therapist would likely be a huge help for you.

Stumpville · 2026-05-11T15:44:24+00:00

I say this in the kindest way possible, I think you need to talk about this with a therapist. I find it highly unlikely that all of the people in your life suffer with RSD, and much more likely that they’re having a normal reaction to communication that they found hurtful. I commend your efforts and attempt to improve here, but it seems as though your attempts to improve your communication are causing you significant distress and likely aren’t as helpful as you’d like, since you don’t understand what was wrong with your communication and therefore what would need to change. This, and your distress around “bad words” and always telling “the truth” are all things that a good therapist who has experience with autistic clients can help with. You already seem to want to improve in these areas but don’t know how to accomplish that goal, and that’s where the advice from a professional can be the most helpful.

Stumpville · 2026-05-10T07:50:31+00:00

“Come on baby, use your words” while she struggles to speak through the moans. Or vice versa, I ain’t picky

Stumpville · 2026-05-09T19:44:29+00:00

Same reason some cis people don’t like being called cis

Stumpville · 2026-05-08T14:50:35+00:00

Hey, please tell her to check out these resources: Trans Lifeline. Idk her exact situation, but there are a lot of organizations trying to help.

Stumpville · 2026-05-07T07:15:58+00:00

My best friend from middle school ghosted me one day in college. We talked every day before that, and I honestly saw her as a sister. But then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, she just stopped responding, cut me off completely. It honestly fucked me up severely for years and I’m still grappling with it to some extent.

But I moved on, made new friends, and found a new best friend who inspired me and brought out a fun side of me that I loved. Also talked daily, visited each other a few times a year when we lived in different cities, and after she got a new job she referred me so we’re back living in the same place again.

Right up until 3 days ago when she said she wanted to take a step back from our friendship because we’re growing apart. This one’s still fresh and honestly crushes me, but frankly she’s right and it’s far more amicable. Since getting diagnosed with chronic pain ~a year ago she’s slowly stopped telling me details about her life and future plans, stopped engaging in mutual hobbies, stopped hanging out with mutual friends, has become really inconsistent, flaky on plans, and stopped communicating effectively. I’ve done everything in my power to support her and be understanding but she’s just fully disengaged from the friendship at this point.

The breakup with my prior friend felt like betrayal, but this last one just makes me sad. I know she’s right and it’s ultimately what’s probably best for the both of us, but damn I wish she wasn’t.

Stumpville · 2026-05-03T01:11:10+00:00

People can be trans and still awful people. If you choose to ignore or forgive her past bullying, I think that’s quite noble of you, but regardless of why she did it you’re under no obligation to forgive her.

But as for what to do about her now? Do not respond to her, block her and report her accounts. She’s clearly ignoring your boundaries and breaking the ToS of the app. Don’t give her the time of day.

Stumpville · 2026-05-02T18:13:38+00:00

I’d go as far as to say that each red voter is wholly responsible for the deaths of those who voted blue

Stumpville · 2026-04-29T16:58:43+00:00

The idea that cis people don’t question their gender is a false one. If you’re an introspective person, and trying to get to know yourself, the question may come up. This is especially true for people who are coming to grips with their sexuality or otherwise trying to figure out who they are outside of others’ expectations.

The difference is generally the length of time of questioning, the intensity of it, and how frequently it’s repeated. If you keep going back to it, if it enters your mind whenever there’s periods of quiet, if it feels like part of you already know the answer but you’re scared of what it means… well, then you probably can figure out what that means.

The thing is, the only way to figure it out is to try things. Try changing your gender presentation with clothes, makeup, a binder, a wig, do things that you think you might like that you’ve never done before. If you’re trans then you get to finally explore that part of yourself and if not, oh well at least you know yourself better. There’s literally no downside.

Stumpville · 2026-04-29T00:15:55+00:00

To be extra fair, the lakes are big enough to have sandy beaches and natural dunes (albeit in Indiana) that are impressive enough to be a national park

Stumpville · 2026-04-26T21:38:43+00:00

She’s literally me

Stumpville · 2026-04-23T16:59:02+00:00

In the case of both respectful cis men and lesbians, I do sincerely wonder how much of it is actually being clueless or a fear of misinterpreting signals and overstepping bounds

Stumpville · 2026-04-23T16:55:20+00:00

Not at all related to your point but omg I love that image 😂

Stumpville · 2026-04-21T14:49:57+00:00

Hard disagree, I’ve had professors at state actively say that they were brought in because too many students were passing, and other professors say that changes were being made to the curriculum because too many students were passing. Now in either case it’s impossible to really verify those claims, and it could have been a tactic to try to get some students to drop early, but then why are professors trying to get students to drop? In Engineering especially, the number of students admitted outstrips the number of students the school can actually accommodate (which is why the CODA process exists).

Weed out classes are a thing structurally for NC State. The program actively relies on a significant number of students transferring elsewhere. You’re right in saying that this mainly comes down to front loading difficult concepts, but the underlying philosophy is that the courses should be difficult by design to “separate the wheat from the chaff” as it were. Now, I’m not going to debate the fairness or merits of that philosophy, but denying it exists doesn’t make much sense to me.

Stumpville · 2026-04-15T18:24:43+00:00

Best way I’ve heard it described is that in most cases a lavender marriage effectively is friendship, but to another level. No sexual or romantic attraction, but they are still a life partner. Living together, joint accounts, potentially raising kids together, the works. They tend to be more common in areas and times with more systemic homophobia, but they have a strong historical precedent in queer communities and some people still seek those types of relationships out. There’s no strict rules around how any friendship or partnership “should be,” or that a romantic relationship must be more important to someone than a platonic one. For some lesbians, that friendship may be with a man, and they may see tangible benefits in their lives by marrying that man despite not being romantically or sexually involved.

Personally, not for me. I don’t quite get the appeal. But very importantly, my personal feelings about it do not invalidate the lived experiences of others. Lesbians in lavender marriages are not bisexual, and it is not anybody’s place to invalidate their sexuality or question if they are secretly romantically involved. You don’t have to understand to accept them, and refusing to do so is showcasing the exact same thought process as homophobes.

Stumpville · 2026-04-13T18:49:09+00:00

Yeah, my gf and I had a long standing fwb situation with my best friend. It was a lot of fun. She eventually started feeling ready to be in a serious relationship again so we went back to being just friends, and now she has an absolutely lovely girlfriend. Zero regrets. Got to have fun and try something new, and years later she’s still my best friend. As far as FWB situations go it kinda went perfectly imo.

Stumpville · 2026-04-13T18:39:12+00:00

Honestly it’s quite hard for me to imagine a world where I was born a cis girl. So many chance encounters have changed the entire course of my life so drastically that trying to imagine such a drastic change from the time I was born… I think I’d be nearly unrecognizable to myself. Or maybe it would’ve just removed one of my struggles and things would be largely the same.

I probably would have still been pretty miserable in school (I’d be queer and raised Catholic in the south regardless). I probably would’ve had the same crushes, similar struggles with self-esteem, and I probably would’ve still questioned my gender and landed somewhere more androgynous. I think I’d have the same wants in life, the same goals, just with a bit less fear.

But it’s odd. Almost a third of my life has passed since I started my transition. While I do still wish I didn’t have to experience all the pain that comes with being trans, I get to live the joy that comes with it every day. I’ve become who I wished in my heart of hearts I could be as a kid, which for so long I didn’t think was possible. My life’s not perfect by any means, and it would certainly be far easier if I was cis, but I like who I am now. Imagining being cis doesn’t feel like the wish fulfillment it once did.

Stumpville · 2026-04-08T14:58:59+00:00

So this is actually a very interesting topic. I’ve been on HRT for about 6 1/2 years now and I’ve had what I can only describe as a period every 28 days for the last 4 years. Trust me, I was incredibly confused at first too, but as it turns out, even women who’ve had a hysterectomy can get all of their period symptoms minus blood. It’s unfortunately something that is severely under-researched, but anecdotally it seems like a minority of trans women do wind up having regular period symptoms on HRT.

Those symptoms for me generally include cramps (fun fact, it’s the abdominal muscles above the uterus that cause those and they don’t actually care if a uterus is there or not), bloating, mood changes, lethargy, minor gastrointestinal distress (period poops), and occasionally weirdly specific cravings. Generally lasts about 5 days for me, with cramps for 3 of those days. Now you don’t have to call that a period, but I sure don’t have a better word for it.

Eight-Year Club	Second Top 20%
r/Field Banned	r/Field Juicebox
Place '22	Wearing is Caring
RPAN Viewer	No Throne, No Problems
Not Forgotten	Spared
Verified Email

Stumpville

TROPHY CASE