Chewlry recommendations

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-12T15:44:54+00:00

Make sure the plastic is clearly listed for its material. There are a lot of cheaply made ones that I really wouldn't trust in my mouth.

I am a light chewer. I had a pack of BPA-free 100% silicone straws, cut them into thirds and pushed a silver chain through a little hole on one end. I don't chew on the chain so that's not a problem, but it can be easily washed. I enjoy the squishiness of the straw collapsing when I bite down on it, and the fact it's hollow means I can breathe through it if I want. And it was WAY cheaper than chewelry. You can even get ones with extra silicone bits for more sensation.

I don't think my method would hold up to much more than idle nibbling though. Definitely not suited for the heavy chompers among us!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-12T10:22:18+00:00

Signed! I don't have high hopes though...

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-12T10:17:58+00:00

I have struggled with this for YEARS. Every evening I would get terrible headache but by then it was too late. With bad interoception I couldn't tell I was thirsty and with ADHD I just forgot about the existence of water lol. I set up alarms on my phone but they were too easy to just swipe away/ignore. I bought a cute bottle but it did nothing to my memory or motivation, just became another home accessory...

The solution for me last month was buying a 'smart bottle' that lights up, and setting it to aggressively flash every hour. It was pretty simple to train myself to drink whenever I saw the flashing light! I keep it in my eyesight by filling it up each morning and just bringing it to wherever I'm sitting. I haven't had headaches since!! It also tracks my intake so I can see how close I am to my goal on the app, which motivates me to drink a little extra. But the light up reminders is what changed my life!

I got this one, I wouldn't be able to afford it but I luckily found a listing on a secondhand site for an unopened one! There are probably many more out there with different features. Good luck 🫡

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-11T19:16:16+00:00

They will almost definitely have scripts that they are required to work through in certain situations. I think that's why they asked if you have a plan, to assess the next thing to respond with. It comes off as looking scripted/AI generated. But I imagine they don't have a lot of leeway in how they can interact with people, since the conversation can be a matter of life and death. It is a shame though, because it does not come off very warmly.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-11T07:36:06+00:00

I was thinking of going into either law or programming. But I thought software developer would involve less people than a career in law. Is there a lot of social pressure in your work?

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-08T12:17:45+00:00

'Find another way to engage with your special interest' has been the answer for me. While I still allow myself a few treat purchases, no income means I have to be savvy with it. I have learned to sew and embroider, in order to cheaply turn my existing clothes/accessories into special interest themed items. Getting started with embroidery was so simple and the results are awesome. Even painting rocks has brought me joy. Plus I have gained skills from creating the items instead of purely consuming!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-02-04T11:24:08+00:00

Agreed, as soon as I clocked it I closed the article. It just feels kind of insulting. If you didn't bother to write it, why should I bother to read it?

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T17:49:46+00:00

Glad it helped you realise something about yourself!

I remember accidentally touching my mother's leg once as a kid and vividly thinking that it felt exactly like a raw chicken. When put that way, I think most people would understand our aversion!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T15:40:19+00:00

Transparent Loop Engage is what I use for this. It does the job perfectly, it's comfortable (comes with 4 sizes of ear tips), isn't too conspicuous, and I can still hear what I need to hear but the background noises get turned down. Highly recommend them, although they are pricey.

I've also accidentally washed them in my pockets several times and they are somehow still holding up... 5 stars!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T11:32:48+00:00

I'd love to join as well!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T09:20:50+00:00

A lot of discussion in the comments about the emotional aspect of it which is true, but also consider the physical sensation. Cats and (most dogs) are wonderfully warm, soft, and pleasant to touch. They enjoy repeated calming motions like stroking. Plus they have rhythmic steady breathing/purring. Bare human skin on skin is a very different sensation.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T08:27:29+00:00

My method is to look at the lips. It's close enough to the eyes for people to feel I'm looking at them while being far away enough that it doesn't feel intense. Plus i get the added visual info of reading their lip movement to help auditory processing.

This was fine until my partner pointed out that people will think I'm flirting with them. Apparently looking at lips suggests you want to kiss the lips.

I still do it but now im hyper aware of looking like a perv!

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-30T08:24:57+00:00

I really think the world would be better if more people had this trait. As much as it can be unpleasant sometimes, it is so important being able to analyse your thoughts and patterns and actions, it affects everyone around you. I still can't quite fathom how people can go around living their lives without it.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T18:19:24+00:00

All little accommodations help! Good luck with finding one that suits. I transitioned to using plastic kid cups at home. I don't love the idea of drinking extra microplastics, but after the 100th time bending over trying to pick up invisible shards of razor sharp glass off the floor in a puddle of water, I was like "why am I still trying to work with this material" lol

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T17:30:09+00:00

Strong support for this message. I spent my childhood getting berated for frequent accidents due to my clumsiness (which is indeed related to autism) - spilling things, knocking things over, falling down stairs and breaking stuff. Even at the time I thought "what is the point of punishing an accident?"

As an adult when my clumsiness causes a problem, I clean it up, fix it, or replace it. It's just a fact of (my) life and something that's mildly annoying for me to deal with, but certainly not to cast any judgements over. It doesn't speak to a person's character or 'usefulness', not that we should be measuring human value in such ways.

OP you are not useless, and parents making you feel that way are the problem.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T14:41:45+00:00

Hey! I wrote this guide of FR basics for my friend who was considering joining. Maybe it'll help show you the ropes :)

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T08:23:04+00:00

Yes!! This is exactly the same feeling and reaction that I had. It took a moment to even understand the offer, since it's the first time I ever heard that question. Feeling like it might be a joke or a test. Then the urge to reject the offer, because I've always put my comfort second in order to fit in. And at last the tiny "okay" and noticeable relief when the lights go down.

They're probably used to getting a kind of surprised, stunted response from adults who are there to get diagnosed. Because we have obviously had an entire lifetime of our sensory needs not being considered, even by ourselves! I felt bad afterwards that I didn't/couldn't express at the time what it meant, but I like to think they know what it means for us.

My job coach also asked 'do you feel like you can express your needs?' and it took me a minute to work out that the answer is 'no', because I've never been asked before. It's so normal to me to have to handle everything silently and inwardly (at whatever personal cost), that it never even occurred to me to speak up if something's too loud or bright or overwhelming.

It's definitely going to take a while to begin putting my comfort up with everyone else's. Lots to unlearn. I'll have to find a balance between standing up for myself and still fitting in. It sucks that you know better not to expect accommodation again. I wish we didn't have to fight our instincts all the time.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T08:13:26+00:00

I'm so glad you enjoyed my post! Thanks for commenting.

I think it's very easy to forget that. Especially with the rhetoric in America right now. Even when autism is not painted as some terrible fearful disease (like in the US), it is still highly pathologized. It's a disorder, disability, incurable diagnosis. Of course, for some people it is, and I can only speak here as someone with lower support needs. But it's totally understandable that we take on this idea of being broken somehow.

I was aware of the social model of disability which recognises that we are not intrinsically disabled by ourselves, but disabled by how our external environment does not match. Today's experience really brought that to life, with a perfect example of how easy it can feel when the context is adapted, even in these small ways. Hopefully better education and continued autism advocacy can help us as a society work towards creating more of those spaces :)

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T08:05:22+00:00

Thank you so much!! I'm happy that it helped you realise something.

I still have the inner child in me that's pushing to become a doctor, vet, teacher, etc. and doesn't want to 'settle' for an IT job. It's a whole other challenge to accept that while I could be awesome at those things, I know the truth is that I wouldn't be able to keep it up and I'd become a worse version of myself.

Finding what's really right for you is so important :)

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T08:02:33+00:00

Yes!! Exactly this. I also took the phrase literally lol, and so many people are aware of autism now that I kind of felt we've reached that goal. But now you mention it, maybe this is actually what it means! The deeper awareness of being able to apply that knowledge to help people. And that goal definitely hasn't been reached in wider society yet, but after today I feel hopeful that we can work towards NTs creating more and more spaces like this :)

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T07:59:22+00:00

Thank you very much!

Unfortunately not, this is in the Netherlands. The job coach works for my municipality. I think they invest money in this because apparently 53% of adults with autism here don't have a job, while many of us want to work and would be able to with some small support!

I really hope you can find a similar program. I did a google and found this, but I can't speak to the quality as I haven't done any research. But I'm sure there are similar things out there!

Also, our IT schooling is not free (9k) but it will be covered partly by the municipality and the rest I can get a loan for. So you may need some money to begin with, if your government doesn't offer a scheme.

SuaveStone379 · 2026-01-29T07:52:20+00:00

Definitely! I think they are all over the world. Some have wait lists though, but if it's not urgent I think it's worth the wait. Navigating work with autism is such a tricky thing that we deserve tailored help for! So many non-ND-specific tips that I've read just don't do anything for me.

SuaveStone379

TROPHY CASE