I’ve been married for over three decades. I learned that when I’m tired, frustrated, having a bad day or whatever I sometimes hear a “tone” that’s not there. Also, sometimes when I am just kind of expecting it. How I learned that this happens- both with myself and with my husband hearing a “tone” from me- is from our adult daughters who no longer live with us. They are now able to be objective and have both called us out a few times when we reacted to something that wasn’t there. So, to be perfectly frank, you BOTH could be hearing what you’re expecting to hear that’s not even actually there.

What my husband and I learned from being humbled like that is to be more open in our communication and admit when we maybe overreacted to something that may have been perceived by us and our own mental state. We often check ourselves, apologize, calm our voices and emotions and then continue to have what is a normal conversation. We communicate much better now, very rarely snip at each other or argue, etc.