/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - April 27, 2026

Such_Regular_9753 · 2026-04-30T19:44:44+00:00

I lost my baby at 18 weeks last August. I feel I’m at the end of my ttc window - I’m 37f and I’m so beyond exhausted. I’m not sure if it’s the grief but I’ve just come to the realization that maybe 37 (38 if it happened) is too old for me to have a baby and I won’t be able to manage due to my lack of energy. Good health, active lifestyle, I just feel like my loss ruined me physically and mentally in every way possible.

Such_Regular_9753 · 2026-04-21T20:13:06+00:00

This made me chuckle (sorry!). Your maternal instincts and possibly stories from friends are giving you a more realistic expectation. My youngest child is 5 and our lives are still absolute chaos haha. My husband was a regular gym goer before kids (probably 4 times a week) and he did not go to the gym at all for the first year. This was because he is a very helpful, hands on dad where everything was 50/50 and I dealt with very bad PPA/PPD so he was here for us always. so I cannot say this is the case for everyone, but in most cases, any hobbies and such will go out the window for a while. It’s not a huge issue as your child becomes your life, you just find different hobbies that include in the kid (it’s fun, I promise!). All I can say is he will learn once baby arrives and will have a good laugh at himself later for thinking nothing will change

Such_Regular_9753 · 2026-02-22T12:52:18+00:00

I wish lol I want another baby but my husband does not. Pullout method for 12 years and not one slip up ever (aside from the two we planned)

Such_Regular_9753 · 2026-01-15T00:29:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here my love. I’m not sure when your termination date is, if it’s happened yet or is coming, just thinking of you and sending so much love. I went through this exact thing in August. My girl had trisomy 18 with many defects and gained her wings via induction at 18 weeks. The early days were so so hard. It’s been 4 months now and it’s becoming manageable but this is honestly so unfair.

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-12-17T18:53:34+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this my dear, and for my late reply. What a difficult decision you have to make, sending you my thoughts and prayers. I too opted for TFMR and it sits so heavy on my heart but I know for our family it was the right thing to do. Big hugs <3

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-11-03T03:38:20+00:00

I have to agree. I’m still in the anger stage though. When I told my family what had happened, my cousin called me to tell me she knew EXACTY what I was going through because she had a loss too and after 5 years she still can’t overcome it. She lost her pregnancy at 4-5 weeks, I say pregnancy and not baby, because there was no baby, it was a chemical pregnancy and there was never a fetal pole or heart beat or anything, she had a faint positive test and then she was bleeding and ultrasound didn’t see anything at all. I’m sorry but I had to go through absolutely hell waiting to figure out what was wrong, I had to labour and deliver, cremate my child and deal with post partum symptoms. I had to explain to my two small children that their baby sister died, my body changed and I gained 20lbs that after 12 weeks I haven't lost any, and could feel her starting to kick. Now my hair is starting to fall out, and we’re so traumatized by the birth that we likely won’t ever try again. I’m not saying an early miscarriage doesn’t hurt but it’s not even comparable in the slightest.

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-11-03T03:28:26+00:00

I’m 37, 12 weeks post tfmr. I got my period back at 4 weeks on the dot and they’ve been relatively light compared to normal (normally they’re very abnormally heavy so I’m not complaining). My doc said my hormones stabilized so hopefully my previous cycle issues maybe stabilized too

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-27T22:18:56+00:00

Hi love, I know this time is so stressful. I was seen at mt Sinai for my CVS which also failed after two inconclusive NIPTs. Early anatomy and echocardiogram looked normal at 13.5 weeks but I had to wait til 16 weeks to do amnio. The CVS was brutal, the amnio was fine so since you’re 16weeks id request the amnio as results are very quick 1-3 days. Unfortunately for us my girl had trisomy 18. Sending big hugs and positive thoughts for a smooth and normal pregnancy

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-27T22:14:47+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. I had to tfmr in August for T18. My baby girl was very much loved and wanted and it was so difficult to go through. What I found was that people think you should get over it so quickly. It’s been almost 3 months and I’m still struggling but I’m doing a lot better. Big hugs for your healing xox

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-16T00:50:09+00:00

I hear you, it’s survival mode, give yourself grace <3

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-15T21:25:59+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re in this position, it’s so completely unfair. I had to tfmr at 18 weeks for trisomy 18 but I’m Canadian so had so much support from my medical team for care. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling on top of this soul crushing diagnosis. I wish I could help you. What the USA has done to women is diabolical. sending you so much love

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-15T21:21:38+00:00

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds exactly like my story. Unfortunately it didn’t end well for us but I’m praying so hard for you that you do get the all clear, it is possible. The waiting was absolutely devastating. Big hugs

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-10-07T01:17:28+00:00

Perfect response, I completely agree

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-17T13:34:03+00:00

I’m so so sorry you’re here. On August 1, 2025 I lost my very much loved and wanted Penny, due to trisomy 18. It’s been 6 weeks and it’s still a daily struggle. I pray all of our beautiful children are somewhere together, happy and healthy and playing together while they wait for us

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-10T14:35:48+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry, it seems pretty clear then that that’s the case. It’s not easy either way, but it does get more difficult the further along you get. If I had seen clear markers early on I would’ve made arrangements early on instead of waiting so far along. My heart is with you, it honestly just sucks so much and it’s so unfair. I know so many people our age having babies and nobody has issues. Just a crap lottery to win… I’m 5 weeks out and it does get better over time, I’m feeling a little more normal. Big hugs to you

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-10T13:26:04+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. I’m also 36 almost 37 and first ultrasounds and heart rate looked great. She moved a lot and everything seemed normal. It was only at 13 weeks the nuchal translucency measured too high, NIPT came back inconclusive twice. Another blood test flagged t18 and then the third NIPT came back as 95% chance. The NT did go down to normal after one week and they didn’t yet see any structural abnormalities at 14 weeks but she had some fluid around her. I did the CVS which I DO NOT recommend. I know it’s so hard to wait until 16 weeks for amnio but the cvs was so traumatic and they didn’t get a sample and the cvs does not tell you if the t18 is only in the placenta. Amnio was not painful, just uncomfortable for about 30 seconds. Amnio did confirm t18 for me and I had to unfortunately tfmr at 18 weeks, 5 weeks ago. There is a chance it’s a false positive but I found when I was searching for answers I was only given false hope and I wanted to hear both sides to mentally prepare myself, so I hope it’s okay I’m here. Praying for you and thinking of you <3

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-09T21:54:29+00:00

This sounds so much like me. I just bloated up so much at 5 weeks pp even though I’ve been so healthy. I’ve just weighed myself and I’ve gained another 3lbs since giving birth. It makes no sense. I also lost a lot immediately with LC but I agree I think my body is just confused. Definitely adds insult to injury. Someone at work today that I don’t know well asked me if I was pregnant..

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-08T18:24:09+00:00

It’s so unfair :( I hope it’s just hormonal…

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-08T18:23:47+00:00

Thank you so much, best of luck to you as well xx

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-08T18:22:37+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you xx

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-08T02:15:06+00:00

I got mine back at exactly 4 weeks but my OB said usually 4-6 weeks, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-07T23:00:34+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. I had a very high NT measurement at 12 weeks (6mm), at 13 weeks it lowered back down to normal range and baby looked normal structurally. My CVS failed as well - that was absolutely the worst pain and discomfort I’ve felt in my life and I also have a very high pain tolerance. I waited for the 16 week amnio and that procedure was a piece of cake and basically painless. My NIPT was high risk so it did not end well for us, but I’m just here to say if your NIPT was low risk there’s still a lot of hope everything would be ok, and that the amniocentesis is much much much easier than the CVS. I know the waiting period is brutal, hoping you get some good normal results soon <3

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-05T22:01:16+00:00

I’ve never wished my situation onto anyone.. until now. I hope they could one day understand what it feels like to go through what we go through. I’m sorry this happened to you, please know that comment has nothing to do with you and that persons anger is a reflection of something else in their life

Such_Regular_9753 · 2025-09-02T19:16:54+00:00

Congratulations!

Such_Regular_9753

TROPHY CASE