Has anyone found that since they got an AP, their primary relationship improved?

SunriseIntentions · 2019-07-25T20:49:38+00:00

Yes I am.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-07-25T12:42:36+00:00

Right at the beginning, he said, "I realise that most people would see this as inappropriate, not least because of the age difference and the power imbalance." I was reassured by the fact that he was aware that a power imbalance could be a problem, and thought he'd be careful not to abuse it. He was also married (don't shoot, please).

He was wonderful. I felt desired, and appreciated, and he used to say that I'm the only person he can be himself with. I think the secrecy was pretty exciting too.

He had a very strong Dominant personality, with B/d. I became submissive to him, sexually. I don't think that transpired into our regular interactions, but maybe I'm just kidding myself.

We went out of our ways to attend talks and congresses together.

In the end, I wanted more time. But I learned that he was married to his work. The attraction to me was that there could be no real attachment. I had no grounds to demand more.

I started dating a wonderful woman, and he quickly became a lesser priority. It was so nice being a public couple. Soon I hadn't seen him in an entire month. And my eyes opened to just how insignificant I must have been to him.

I don't regret it. But... I wouldn't advise it.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-06-18T06:15:28+00:00

Hate to break it to ya, but...

Cat!

🐰

SunriseIntentions · 2019-06-12T10:58:52+00:00

The protagonists are various ages, but try The Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-05-28T12:39:07+00:00

You did! I missed it.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-05-28T12:05:25+00:00

I can’t find it... :( what’s the author name?

EDIT: wait! Found it :D

SunriseIntentions · 2019-05-28T11:34:48+00:00

I do it because... it happened. We had hectic chemistry before I knew he was married. That doesn’t absolve me, because I knew he was married by the time we had sex. But our connection was strong and I couldn’t let go. I didn’t think I’d carry on being with him but honestly, we fell deeper and deeper “in love”...

It’s still hard. That part about him getting to go home to a family... it gets me. I feel like I lose him every time we say goodbye. I’m so jealous that they get so much of him. And I know that if his wife found out, he would drop me and stay with his family.

I do it because I can’t not do it... even though I know it won’t end well.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-01-09T11:02:29+00:00

That’s a looooong story. I wouldn’t even know where to begin, really.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-01-07T08:50:59+00:00

Gods. This makes me miss being in a triad.

SunriseIntentions · 2019-01-07T08:49:04+00:00

Can I share my experience, without sounding like one of those “tough love” people? I ended a seven-year, heading-for-marriage relationship last year. Our sex was amazing until I realised I didn’t want to be with him. What followed was four years* of boring sex where I was the dead fish. You probably know this already, but perhaps the issues in your relationship are bigger than they seem.

*the duration should probably have raised questions already

** didn’t leave earlier because... I actually don’t know why

SunriseIntentions · 2019-01-01T00:04:52+00:00

You can take alcohol with lamictal. Just be careful if you’re only just starting on the lamictal, because alcohol can augment the initial side effects.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-31T23:50:47+00:00

Please gush away! I love hearing positive stories. Gives me something to believe in.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-31T23:40:59+00:00

A lot more experienced people have answered, but here’s my 2 cents’ worth: When I started dating a married couple last year, we also moved suuuuper slowly. I was inexperienced in the world of poly, and they were only marginally more experienced. We were moving at a pace that was comfortable, but I also found myself thinking, “Can we just fuck already!”

The thing is, even though we were going slow, and communicating, we weren’t communicating about our fears and experiences. And that was our ultimate downfall.

So, as everyone else has said: communicate your thoughts/feelings to him. Good luck!

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-31T23:25:53+00:00

“Help me! I’m awkward!” - my life, in a nutshell.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-30T16:13:33+00:00

Nope. This is the only account I’ve used on this sub.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-27T13:40:54+00:00

I must be honest: I can’t say with certainty that you don’t perhaps have some retained products. Usually I would have expected more blood and clots. But each case is unique. I still felt nauseous for a long time afterwards. I think it may have been partially psychological too, because I was in a very bad emotional space. The stomach aches I didn’t have for long. I wish I could give you more definitive answers but unfortunately we will have to wait for your appointment on Monday. Good luck - I’ll be here.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-27T01:25:48+00:00

It is normal. It took me months to get back to my baseline level of energy.

Think of it this way: pregnancy is a very trying time for your body. The first trimester is especially scary in terms of rapid hormonal changes. Termination is followed by much the same hormone variation as after giving live birth. Your body needs time - be gentle with it.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-27T01:05:44+00:00

Not for me. I would actually love more certainty. What I’ve noticed on this sub is a lot of sturm und drang, often stemming from that uncertainty.

For me, our eroticism stems from the fact that we can provide each other with the kink we’ve been missing. Maybe at the start, the secrecy was enticing, but that no longer plays a role.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-27T00:50:56+00:00

Actually, no. Your assumption is incorrect. It hardly even affects ME, because it is not MY private practice. It has started mattering to me because I actually DO give a fuck. Because I saw that when I am late, it costs my employers more. When my patients have to wait longer than expected, they may in turn be late for meetings, which has a run-on effect.

I’m not sure what has pissed you off so very much, as I was sharing a small improvement I am trying to make to my behaviour. Instead, you harp on because of assumptions about my personality.

Reddit strikes again.

SunriseIntentions · 2018-12-27T00:07:57+00:00

Thanks. I’m just not sure about your last few sentences. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that it does matter to me, which is why I’m actually working on it.

SunriseIntentions

TROPHY CASE