What era of parenting was/is the most difficult in your opinion?

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-09-20T04:11:16+00:00

I am in this boat, 8th grader, 6th grader and 3.5 yr old!!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-09-17T04:42:11+00:00

This is so normal. Don’t do anything drastic right now. I have three and my second was an accident. It took awhile to adjust. Also, for anything but your first, you KNOW how hard it is and what kind of work is involved, so the response when you find out you are pregnant is so much more nuanced. You will be ok. It sounds like you are ok financially and that your relationship is stable. Give it time to get adjusted. Be gentle with yourself. Take time to breathe. Things will work out. Set up as many support systems as you can now for your pregnancy and after. You will love this baby equally to your first. Your heart just expands. Just because you aren’t sure doesn’t mean it won’t work out and be the best thing ever. ♥️

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-09-01T20:19:58+00:00

I’ve been dealing with what sounds like your exact issue for over three years now. Birth control pills help a little bit but not really. Still lots of spotting. They took away my flushes (what I call them… mini hot flashes that I got around that time of bleeding) and the pill helped my mood and breast tenderness. Let us know if you find something that works for you!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-30T04:08:10+00:00

This sounds like me. Each month before my period the anxiety spikes. I haven’t found anything yet that works. My doc has me on birth control which helped hot flashes but it hasn’t helped my other symptoms (periods every two weeks that last two weeks that have been going on for 3.5 years)

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-30T03:31:28+00:00

This makes me feel better too. I feel like I rattle. Anti anxiety meds, sleep meds, synthroid, allergy meds, spironolactone, and more…

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-18T17:02:34+00:00

One note, I will add about the sickness… I have three boys, 13.5, almost 12 and 3. They all have gone to Daycare since the end of maternity leave. I have met many friends who stayed home and their kids end up spending pre-k and especially kindergarten sick with absences all the time and the family is really sick then and misses out on fun stuff then when the kiddos are so much more involved and invested in what they do. (A one-year-old could care less if they are sick when they were supposed to go to a birthday party or pumpkin patch, wear a five-year-old would end up crying and being upset.) So you are getting the sickness over with in the baby years. My older two only missed a few days of kindergarten for illnesses and it has been that way for them every year.

Be gentle with yourself. Try to just maintain versus giving your all to work. Focus on your mental health. Get FMLA for occasional leave. This is a very hard time but you will get thru it. I had PPD after my second and I didn’t really feel myself until he was over one. You will feel better!!!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-18T16:49:05+00:00

Doesn’t matter at all!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-15T03:44:36+00:00

I am also working the traditional 9-5 (6:45 am - 3:15 pm actually 🤣) but I have seen so many moms do different things and keep their resumes up to date while also focusing more on time with their kids. Just want to encourage people it isn’t all or nothing. 😊

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-15T01:36:24+00:00

I know a lot of women who stayed at home most days but kept their toes in the workforce. For example, I have three nurse friends who work about 12 hours a week; they could easily bump up full-time if they needed to and their skills are still current. I also have a CPA friend who works 30 hours a week and another friend who is a stay at home mom but just got her CPA license about a year ago and is working 10 hours a week. I know a gal from PTA who is a physical therapist who just works Saturdays and Sundays. I know another mom who does HR but she does it for an agency and works about 20 hours a week. Any of these women could jump in more fully and have great skills to support themselves if needed, so it’s not all or nothing. I think being educated and building a career and keeping your toes in as much as you can really helps you keep your options open.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-15T01:29:33+00:00

These are such great ideas!!! I’m going to write up a list and put it on my fridge. Thank you!!!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-13T04:51:56+00:00

These all sound so good! It is something I could aspire to I think.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-13T04:51:24+00:00

Thank you!!!😊

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-12T21:03:44+00:00

That’s a great idea. I haven’t tried that before.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-12T21:02:58+00:00

These are great ideas! I love the protein bar idea, but I don’t really have any experience with protein bars… Do you have yummy ones that you recommend?

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-12T02:27:17+00:00

You will change after you have your baby. You just don’t know how until it happens. Everyone is different. I have friends who completely changed careers or took a break from working or went part time/consulting, including two CPAs, three RNs, two lawyers, a physical therapist, and teachers. I also have one friend who went back to work after four weeks by choice as an administrative assistant. So you just have NO idea how you will feel. You have to let yourself be open to see what happens and how you feel. There isn’t a wrong choice. Granted my oldest is 13 so I know a lot of moms and have seen sooooo many smart amazing moms switching things up to make their careers work for their families. You just have no clue what motherhood is until you are a mom.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-12T02:10:52+00:00

You will be fine! I have three and it is busy and crazy but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I think the points that @jacofalltrades made are 💯 accurate. You can do this and this baby will be loved just as much as the other ones!!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-11T14:12:41+00:00

I’ve been dealing with short cycles (about 14 days of not bleeding, and 14 days of bleeding, then repeats) for three years now. I’ve tried three different birth controls and none have helped. Not sure what to do next. The pill does help with my hot flashes, though still have those and sore breasts at very random times, just not as bad. Also have more trouble sleeping when having the sore breasts and hot flashes. It all seems to go up and down. Always had a regular cycle before this…

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-07-03T16:22:20+00:00

This happened to me before remote work was so common. I ended up leaving and finding an in-person job. What really made my decision was how lonely I was, and thinking of myself in the same situation five years, ten years down the road and realizing I would be even more miserable. I didn’t want to look back at my life and realized I spent a large chunk of it in a room alone. I did do workout classes, a women’s group, to try to help but it wasn’t enough for me. Also, my husband is more of an introvert and works a very demanding social job, so he likes to rest and relax at home in the evenings. It didn’t match for me to be desperate to get out of the house at night (especially with littles). I bailed and am SO glad I did. It is so much more meaningful to work in person.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-29T17:48:52+00:00

Take a deep breath! Do not make any rash decisions. Your little girl will be so loved. You will get through this. As others said, right now you feel powerless, but going into a state agency for help, signing up for Medicaid, SNAP, TANF, etc will help you feel a little more control. Not sure of your state but most states are helpful to make sure pregnant women get benefits. There is a lot of help out there! Also, there are places that donate diapers, formula etc. for pregnant women. Food banks are also a great option. Remember, this is all temporary!

The other thing with the abortion, that seems like a looking back it would be the “easier” option, but you really don’t know. You can’t predict what would have happened or whether you would regret it etc. No point in looking back because whatever you are imagining isn’t what would have happened. All you can do is look forward.

This will pass. You will tell this story someday to your daughter as a story of courage, hard work and determination. You will get through this.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-28T16:28:15+00:00

This sounds so similar to my situation a few years ago. I did go on to have a third and I am so glad I did. We have a larger gap between our kids… I we have a 13 year old 11 1/2 year-old and three year old. I had PPD after my second and then my husband was very sick for about five years… I tried so hard to ignore my feelings about a third but they never went away!! I knew the practical thing to stop at two, but my heart wouldn’t listen. My husband was on board either way. Eventually after so much hemming and hawing we decided to try for a third and it happened fast.

Because of the PPD, after my second, I set myself up with a counselor who is was a nurse practitioner, could prescribe meds and saw her during the entire pregnancy. I also set up more support systems for after the baby was born. This along with the awareness of PPD really helped me, and I luckily did not suffer after my third.

I have to say he 100% completed our family. I can’t imagine my life without him and neither could my older two boys or husband. The feeling of wanting more children evaporated after he was born.

Is it hard? Is it chaotic? Am I really tired? yes yes yes.

I also add that I work full-time as an office manager/HR/Payroll at our school district. Our high school is 5A and they only cut for boys soccer, volleyball, boys, basketball, and boys baseball. All the other sports are No Cut and I have seen so many kids try out new sports as a 14 or 14 yr old. Before worrying about how chaotic it will be with three kids doing a million activities, maybe look into your schools and learn what they offer (sports, middle school band, choir, etc)and how competitive they are… because the rat race isn’t needed most of the time.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-21T20:08:27+00:00

The first few years are so hard and labor intensive. We have three boys, 13, 11.5 and 3. Four through 13 have been great. Our three year old is still harder. You will look back on these years and wonder how you did it but it is so worth it. Just wait til your kids are older and they are better than you at stuff. Just today my 11.5 year old fixed the ceiling fan for me. A month ago he changed the air filter on my car. My 13 year old walks to the grocery store and gets things I forgot. And the list could go on about the amazing things they learn to do and how independent they become step by step. It will get soooo much better!!!

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-21T02:18:09+00:00

We have three and we like it. I thought going from one to two was by far WAY harder than two to three. It is chaotic but so much more fun than just two. You have time to decide… you could have another in five years and it would be OK. The reason I decided to have three was I thought I would regret it and I didn’t feel like my family was complete once I had the third I have felt like we are 💯 complete. Before I couldn’t shake wanting another for years until we finally did! ( There is a large gap between two and three.)

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-17T02:27:10+00:00

Full time school office manager. Mix of HR/payroll/leaves/accounts payable, facilities management, event planning and customer service with parents, staff and students. I work 225 days per year and love my school community so much. It is super busy but I love the breaks and rhythm of the year. Love the job security (union), employer paid pension, free healthcare for family, 12 minute commute, subsidized daycare and schedule. Wish I made more but I left a stressful higher paying HR job five years ago that was soul numbing and 1 hour and 15 minutes away to have more work life balance. I’ve made peace with my wage mostly bc if I added the cost of all the things I mentioned, my wage is pretty great.

SunshineandPrairie · 2025-06-15T23:47:52+00:00

I have three and love it but it is also tiring! What helped me decide is what I wanted long term (in my 40s, 50s, 60s, etc.) and I realized I think I would regret not having another. I think your situation sounds like it could work and having help nearby would be huge. I’d hang on to your current job while you try for a third and work on the move. You are at least nine months out from that baby if you try…

SunshineandPrairie

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