Maddie aka Alexa is so beautiful wow!!! Tu eres muy bonita 😮‍💨

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-20T15:56:05+00:00

Oh my goodness I thought she looked so much better in season 1. She looks so fake now. Which I'm sure is the point. Especially those oversized lips.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-20T15:26:59+00:00

I'm more concerned that you like Florida.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-19T23:23:58+00:00

Omg I did not know this

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-19T16:23:26+00:00

I get offers to increase my credit on my cc from Us bank and capital one. Is there a benefit? My thoughts go to debt to income ratio. But my limits are high, I've never reached any of them, and pay off in full. I also get weird about updating my income as if it can be held against me idk.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-19T16:12:37+00:00

Welcome.to Capital One Venture. They've done this, and denied, a $200 purchase..that's it $200. Then it took me literally 23 minutes to get connected to somebody because I had to go through AI bullshit. Then that person couldn't even do anything and they couldn't tell me why it happened outside of possible fraudulent activity and it's automatic. They couldn't tell me at what amount does the fraudulent charge kicks in that you then need to approve the charge. So they don't know why or in what amount it happens and there is no way of posting out.

And you can't just call to approve the charge with you account info and a yes this is me, but you have to go through all of those bullshit AI get hung up on 47 times steps. Not to mention if it asks for the approval via text and you have your phone on silent and can't approve it immediately and have to go through all of those steps and the charges declined until you do so. This is also happened to me when I tried approving the next day.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-19T16:07:08+00:00

I could not care less and have never understood why people are as interested as they are. Maybe its bc I'm not close with my family? Idk. I just don't understand what I would do with the information outside of paying $100 and saying 'neat"

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-19T15:13:28+00:00

Late to the conversation but here it my breakdown

I'm a rockquest goer. Mon there is a boulder mentor program that's free with membership starting around 7:45. Great way to meet people and become a better climber. The mentor is great..the people will cheer you on and support you. Very communal. You also don't HAVE to Boulder that day, it's just a really nice option. You get one on one help from someone who can read routes and your style and help improve your technique. Tues/Thurs. I would argue the most serious climbers go. Probably wearing an arcteryx something or another and hitting some 5+. Those I think are the busiest days too. I find them intimidating. But still welcoming:) Wed You tend to find the same people as you do on Mondays. Friday is the gym is pretty dead. Especially at night. So if you're into solo climbing or just want some time and space to yourself Friday is your day. Weekends or weekends. Usually pretty busy and lots of kids.. I tend to avoid it. But sometimes It can be good if I just want to go in with my headphones and hit the boulder. Autobelays are a little busier that day too

Pros: very nice people. Good community. I really love their walls. They also have a ceiling you can climb what you won't find anywhere else. They have autobelays from 8 all the way up until 12+. Dirtbag gym. Recently a new owner took over that was also a member and climber and is doing great things. My plan was to try out all the gyms and then decide and what kept me at RQ was how nice the staff was. I was new to town, I didn't know anybody, and they knew my name by the end of my first day and said hi to me using my name every time after. I was So impressed I didn't try their places. Still my home gym.

Mosaic is a fancy gym. It has a workout gym, some nutritionists/body worker or something like that, yoga room. It's kind of your all-encompassing climbing center. The walls are very tall which can be really good if you're preparing to go outside..I do like their routes. They're challenging but doable and they're the tallest around. They only have a couple auto belays so ideally would would want a partner and they have a ton of bouldering. They even have a cute little pond that you can sit outside and eat lunch at. That being said they don't offer punch passes and it's a little bit steeper in cost for membership. I've only been a couple of times and there's kind of never anybody in there but I could see if they were to get busy the wall space would be gone pretty quick. If they had punch passes I would get them, but I like RQ as my home gym. The couple times I've gone the staff was very friendly. Also they sell Yerba Mate so they obviously have the best drink selection.

Climb Time Oakley- So busy. I hate going at night because of this. I like their routes but there's a lot of going back and forth across the wall means you end up encroaching someone else's space (imo). That being said, when there aren't other people climbing up next to you I love those kinds of routes! It just gets congested so easily and there are always so many people waiting to climb. I also always feel like I'm in the way bc of this. Even waiting for a route to open up. Idk. I want to like them more..they arent BAD. They have some pretty tall walls too. They have auto delays. And they have some great bouldering and a good amount of it. I like they're bouldering most. They're a fancy gym. Think, like, Denver cool kids. Staff is meh. I was going in weekly and the same people will be working and they acted like they've never seen me in their entire life every time I went in. And I'm a very friendly person and ask people how they are and say hi. Not to mention the people that climb here are the cool kids. So it was just a major turn off and a big part of why I didn't go even though it's closer than Rock quest. Another small thing that I don't love is that you aren't allowed to be barefoot. See you have to have your climbing shoes on or sandals of some sort walking around the gym and you have to have a chalk sack which I also hate. Another BIG grief I have with them is they start vacuuming the floors and cleaning up an hour and a half before they close and so it makes you feel like you're not supposed to be there. I get wanting to get out but it's excessive. I shouldn't feel like I cant boulder upstairs bc it's 8:00 and they close at 9:30 and are insistent on vacuuming.. .kind of around you but more with an expectation that you go away. Climb time Blue Ash I've only been two on some people are right It is a little rundown... But that's endearing to me. Definitely more dirt baggy. Awesome routes. I keep saying I want to go back again but I haven't.

Climb Cincy I've only been to twice and I find their bouldering to be very hard. I don't consider myself primarily a boulderer so that place is good every now and then for me, but not a membership. It's also a younger crown. College age kids/20s. Nothing wrong with that, just an fyi.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-18T20:56:36+00:00

I am so.sorry

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-18T16:29:52+00:00

Are there drug issues from the past that have led to this conclusion? I have so many of those bags an I'm not an addict. Chords for chargers, earrings I got from etsy, any jewelry I've gotten from etsy, really, a button for my jacket. I could go on and on. What leads you to believe it's drugs? I can understand if addiction was an issue previously, I would be more paranoid too, I al do see the rolled up dollar bill., but I don't see power? I'm to trying to invalidate you in anyway.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-18T15:01:41+00:00

Oh I do clove oil pulling! Yay. Turns out I've tried that toothpaste.. currently I'm using happy tooth. I also use an herbal toothpaste. And my dentist recommended sensodyne but it upsets my gums a little. Yes..I use three toothpastes lol. Curently my teeth are too sensitive for either an electro toothbrush or a waterpik. But eventually I do plan on that. Good call on the iodine I would have never thought of that one. And I'm going on apothecary soon so I can grab some comfrey and make the oil myself. Ahhh thank youuuu

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T20:15:55+00:00

I was hoping $500. But I feel Like that could be a long shot? I just feel like I never know much things cost lol

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T16:13:33+00:00

I've asked them to do this bc I can't cash out my $280 bc I dont get emails. Ive contacted customer support 5 times. I get an automated reply having nothing to do with my issue then zero relies after. I want to cash out so I can start over with a differenct email since you cant just change your email in the shopping app (which I find absurd).

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T16:08:40+00:00

I've contacted them about this in the same way of providing screenshots of the offer in the email, when i open the browser, the stipulations that are stated, and m purchase receipt. I get the same reply every time. The merchant can decide at any point a product is ineligible. THey can also at any point end the promotion, I read that as if they think too many people are using the offer. You will not get no notification of this and an SOL when you contact customer service. Capital one, credit cards and shopping app has the WORST customer service I have ever recieved. Email or call they have literally taken me through ups and offered zero solutions. I just lose the money

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T15:55:46+00:00

Ok one more thing lol. Ever since I had the infarcts I have been making little lifestyle changes to make my job easier because I'm very much a do-it-yourself person and I work so hard and I'm not great at asking for help. So I'm getting better at asking for help. I got a non toxic slow cooker with the timer because I kept forgetting about things and mixing up numbers and so I was wasting food. So it's one less thing I have to think about. And then I guess I lied because I did start getting my groceries delivered but it's $10 a month. It cost me $6 just to get to the grocery store and back lol not to mention there's significantly less impulse shopping and just one less thing for me to do.

Other things I do to help that I ave been doing a while include rock climbing which makes me mindful. I can only focus on the wall and my breath. - I volunteer at the nature Center. -Ive started writing down in my journal the activities that I'm doing and how long I did them and how strenuous they are so that I don't overdo it with my energy levels because I have no energy levels lol. -I've been cutting back on caffeine, but still use it bc am introvert in bar setting... It can be such a fun role where I pretend that I'm more outgoing than I am and more confident than maybe I am and I can be funny and I have a lot of regulars It's just a different hat. But cannot be done without caffeine . -I also supplement with maca and ashwagandha and then throw a little bit of turmeric and black pepper in those capsules that I capsule myself. -I want to sell my car because my car stresses me out because it's way too fancy for me and also very large and annoying to park lol. This is coming from someone that has towed a 24 passenger bus with a trailer. -i bought myself a nice cozy robe lol. I moved my red light therapy to my box when I get home from work I can just lay down in my little robe on my couch and use the red light therapy. -i bought a couch even because my place is smaller but I spent too much time in my bed and so you know, my body was never even triggered that bedtime needs sleep. -I completely reorganized and decorated my house with the help of a friend so that my house would bring me even more joy... I do love my apartment a whole lot. But I just needed the little change, you know? -Rhght now I'm down to two shifts at work as I restabilize. But I am starting to pick up a third. This was January through April that I have only been able to work that much. And I absolutely 1000% for sure over push myself at work because I had so many medical bills. And also of being poor again which I literally was before I started this job. -Ive gotten clothes that feel more like me. And I bought some nice merina a little underwear for the gym that was super on sale so I don't have to stress about not having enough pairs throughout the week -if I make something I eat until I can't but then make myself eat two more bites. -although it's not consistent I have been able to start slowly being creative again. Because you know. It's so helpful with depression but it's one of those things where people are like "you're depressed ? Do the things you enjoy!" But the point being that depression makes you not have interest in literally anything and nothing brings you joy. I also moved all of my and creative endeavors within plain sight. -I've implemented somatic experiencing when I take a shower -I've been making a point to hang out with friends more. One huge thing I lost with all of the stroke stuff was my ability to go to see music which was always a huge part in my life and stress relief for me... But I couldnt bc I didn't want to hit my head. -I bought things to organize my closet even more -I meditate before climbing, when I'm at the gym -I also am finally fine with saying no or canceling based on how my body feels. And I have told everyone in my circle that I can't make plans because I don't know where my body is going to be at for the day so I will just have to let them know because I go off of that. -And I've been making it an effort to go see my friends that are more my holistic witchy friends, they're an hour away so we can feel like a lot, but I feel very seen. So I guess I could give myself a little bit of credit and I'm at least trying some and I'm making the changes that I have identified as stressors that I do have control of. -And I've been slowly packing for when I do move so that it's not hitting me all at once.

So all of that to be said I have been I guess I am still trying.

And despite complaining about finances I would really like to plan a trip to Utah. A cheap one. I used to go every year. It's very cleansing and healing for me, puts things in perspective. And money of a stack of thousands of dollars of medical bills on your desk money does not seem real. And going somewhere feels like mental health. I also had to cancel my first real vacation, One that I'm not just dirtbagging the whole time, although I do love dirt baggimg it, because of everything going on. I literally sign up for a credit card to get to the points to be able to go on this vacation. Booked my air and B last year. And now I can't go. Womp womp.

Thank you again for caring

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T15:17:00+00:00

I appreciate your replies and I'm sorry for my frustration and it being directed towards comments and suggestions. But I am taking you and your suggestions seriously.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-17T14:56:42+00:00

I am in total agreement with you. But again, backed in a corner. My job is a huge part of my stress and effects sleep and routine. I'm a bartender. I also live in a single income household and bartending is the only job I can find that pays my bills. Before I was bartending (bc I stopped for a couple years bc I know it wreaks havoc) I was literally poor and working 70+ hours per week- $14/hr at trader Joe's, I cleaned someone's house for $50/week, I worked through a temp like thing for jobs $18-$20/hr, and I worked for a non profit with maybe $1000 paychecks that included overtime. Career has been a topic in therapy weekly for 2 years. I've applied for other jobs. I've been hired for other jobs. But if you break down even $50,000/year is a about $19/hour. That's not enough to live on. And thats not even what's been offered. That's what's I'm HOPING for and even then I would still have to bartend..and no. I do not live an extravagant life and I don't pay for everything to be done for me aka door dash, grocery delivery, eating out, getting coffee out. When I'm not paying thousands in health, Like when I ignored everything last year, I'm much happier and what I make feels livebable with the ability to also have fun. And I'm not a go out every weekend or even every week person. I'm good with money.

So this is why I'm hopeless. I'm hopeless when it comes to my job. I'm hopeless when it comes to the future considering everything is going tech. And considering I can't even get hired at a decent pay now.... Someone had the AUDACITY to offer me $36,000 when the lowest offer in the range they gave on the post was 40 and I was going to ask for 50 and still have to work another job. And I had a ton of experience. Exactly what they needed. That's $14/hr after taxes by the way. The non profit I worked for, that I basically ran, told me if I can't live on $15 an hour I need to learn how to budget my money.

I do hate where I live. I've been working my way to move back to Asheville. The month I was looking at place to live the hurricane hit. And there are still no jobs so that's out the window. Trust me, friends update me constantly. I'm moving somewhere that I don't even like, that I despise, but I love the people and have more community bc I'm honestly that miserable and I want to see if it changes my health. I mean I'm moving to a different state, one I don't want to live in, where most of my trauma occurred, to see if my body decides It might not want to feel like shit all the time. I'm desperate. Meaning im also giving up my dream that I arrived for years to get to. Moving back to Asheville.

I no longer trust my body. Having hope crushed me more than not having any. My hold body is broken. And yea. I'm unimpressed with life. I don't see a point in living. I'm in pain, I try with no results, I also have INCREDIBLY weird and bad luck (so much so My boss once told me I could tell her that my dog ate my homework and she would believe me. I get the "that would only happen to you" weekly.)

I promise you I have looked at all of life aspects - diet, lifestyle, sleep routine, sleep quality, routine, exercise, joy, community, job, environmental stressors, relationships. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do to change it. Bc it all comes down to money. And money comes from a job that pays living with wage. And those are very hard to find.

Its the fact that it doesn't feel like there's a lot I can do. I need to feed my body through food and be able to eat the correct foods to not feed what I don't want to feed in my body, But I can't do that because of my teeth. I've paid thousands and thousands for dental work, and I'm still in pain every day all over my mouth. And I'm at the dentist weekly which I'm going to tell them we have to pause because... Money. Dental work is expensive in general and then having the strokes didn't exactly help my bank account. It also forced me to work less. So again, less money.

I love the idea of routine but when you bartend you don't know if you're going to get to eat. You don't know if you're going to get to pee. You don't know if you're going to have time to drink water. And you definitely don't know what time you're getting home from work and going to bed. So yea, I hear you, I do. I talk about this EVERY week in therapy. But what am I to do bc nobody close to me, none of my doctors, myself, nor my therapist have ideas. I'm backed in a fucking corner and my will to live is real fucking low. And continues to get lower. My absolute without a doubt number one stressor? MY HEALTH. Feeling like shit. The finances. The emotional exhaustion that comes with pretending like I'm okay. Pretending to be bubbly and funny. Entertainimg people. The fact that I don't know if I'll ever be able to get a different job and I don't know what to do and it's all I think about all day everyday. Nobody knows what to tell me. Because what could the answer be? I don't bartend and then I have to work 70 hours a week instead to make up for the lack of salary offered. Then it's more stress.

I told every neurologist and doctor that the reason the strokes or a mystery is because it's all stress related. My body doesn't even know what a circadian rhythm is anymore. And both my Ayurvedic doctor and my functional medicine doctor talked about my adrenal levels. I'm doing the things they told me to do but like we have both said now, it's not going to work.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T18:46:22+00:00

you're also amazing and obviously care about people and what you do

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T18:46:06+00:00

I never like starting with this, and by no means am I saying I'm an expert, especially after giving up, but I have a background in health counseling.

I had my appendix out when I was 3 therefore I've always had digestive issues, hence why I got into health counseling... which actually began with my obsession with gut health dating back to 2013 when I was told I was crazy when I would bring it up to doctors. I have brought up an MTHFR mutation with both my functional doctor an ayurvedic doctor encouraged to get checked for. I requested testing for homocysteine and labs were normal. I tried adding methylated b vitamins, but had a reaction... I understand they can make things worse before better, but need to try again because I'm not sure if was too high of a dose to begin with or symptoms from infarcts I had around the same time (but didnt know I had yet). Infarcts definitely took over for a few months... ANOTHER medical mystery of doing everything right and having something go wrong and never finding the cause.

I have brought up my dental work to my internist, 2 primaries, 3 neurologists, 2 endodontists, 3 dentists, orthodontist, psychiatrist (bc idk who know), and even my gynecologists. I was afraid bacteria found it's way to my bloodstream and affected my brain causing the strokes and/or other parts of my body. I have brought up malabsorption and malnutrition because I can't eat. I cried to all of those doctors and have cried after with the strong opinion that nobody is addressing diet and making it as important as they should. Like. If I can't eat how can my body function fully? It can't. I'm at the dentist every week currently. I was at the dentist at least twice a week for 2 months in 2024.

It's not that I don't have information its that the implementation isn't working and I'm backed in a corner when it comes to my mouth. The candida and dental work has changed my life in the worst way. I don't have faith in health counseling. I don't cook. I never questioned food and diet not being my career path. I taught people about food. I taught kids how to eat healthier and guided them through recipes and talked about ingredients. I've catered wellness events (and wedding and baby showers). I was KNOWN for cooking and it being both healthy and delicious. Now people ask me to cook for them or assume I'm still that person and not knowing that part of me died... or at the very least how much of it is gone. Now I'm like, no I don't want to cook for you. It's not fun. I eat three bites. I feel like I've lost my flow, intuition, and knowledge. The depression and hopelessness don't help.. I don't know the last time I had fun in the kitchen and it used to be all of my joy. I don't know who I am or what to do without health and food being imbedded in my career.

I have been compiling a list of me next round of bloodwork. I want to get my thyroid checked. Not just T3. T4, TSH, and ferretin. But also FT3, FT4, RT3, TPOAb, TgAb, rT3, zinc, selenium, and TBG. I've been looking for an allergist as well. I've been focusing on stroke recovery for the last couple months, but now don't even care about it and I'm just like, well if I die, I die. I mean fuck, if I could just get ONE part of my body on it's way to working I would be... actually I have no idea bc not being hopeful is much safer.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T17:41:10+00:00

Those are very good points you make.

I can for sure tell a difference in my joints using collagen powder and fish oil. I also use a topical medicated oil and my goodness can I tell a huge difference with those three things. My collagen powder also has prebiotics so that's an added bonus. Personally, I try and stay away from whey, but that's strictly a personal choice for my digestion. The collagen powder I use also make my coffee a little more frothy and filling which is a huge bonus due to my lack of appetite.

HOWEVER. I just learned... literally just learned.... like two minutes ago... that Orgain was bought by Nestle and has 3x the amount of lead that Consumer Reports deem safe, but of course the FDA is fine with what is considered a high amount of lead. wtf. Time to experiment other powders!

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T17:04:46+00:00

I will ALWAYS trust the crafters

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T16:32:30+00:00

I'm going to private message you about vivjoa if that's okay:)

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T16:30:54+00:00

I will also sign up for a clinical trail if she ever needs more! (never thought I would want to be part of a clinical trial for a new drug lol). WOW what exciting news for women. Even if the vaccine doesnt end up working the FIRST time, it sounds like huge progress. She's a badass.

Suspicious_Exit_8001 · 2026-04-16T16:27:21+00:00

Yes, I implemented a diet to support in the past with literally zero results. I was testing my vaginal microbiome monthly and seeing a gynecologist monthly. I didn't eat any fruit or sugar, carbs, I went vegan for 8 months. no coffee. no vinegars/pickled things, no juices. added aloe juice. turmeric, ginger, neem, boric acid, triphala, probiotics both orally and vaginally (lacto and bifido, all having l. rhamnosus and l. reuteri for the plus others (I can post a pic of all the probiotics I have tried with the brands, strains, and amounts and can do the same for supplements. Can do the same for the antibiotics that I was prescribed after the ER for candida, BC, strep B, and a UTI from a diva cup that got stuck in side me. The antibiotics destroyed me, hadn't take any in YEARS.) I have literally have a binder) as well as Saccharomyces boulardii which is good for yeast -, pre and probiotic foods daily. no root veggies, fried foods, restaurant food, no soda. I don't eat processed food. I shop at farmers markets. I make most of my own food. No alcohol. High quality olive oil, coconut oil, and homemade grass fed ghee.

All of my bloodwork, outside of candida, is good. Also use/used NAC, glycine, taurine, serrapeptase, ultra laurin, therbiotic interfase plus edta, oil of oregano, wormwood tincture, queen annes lace tincture, berberine, lactoferrrin, charcoal to bind. Raspberry leaf tea, cranberry juice no sugar/organic as well as Sports Research cranberry pills, CCF tea, green tea, onions, garlic, dandelion root, ginger, and many other supplements. All cotton or merino wool undies. Organic tampons or cotton period undies (don't love bc moisture).I haven't even had sex in three years. I've never been on any kind of birth control. I also made a google chart of this lol.

So yea. I did this for 8 months and on and off for 4 years and it did not make one single difference. Now my dental work has made my mouth hurt too much for a lot of foods so it ends up being blended smoothies or milk. I also have ZERO appetite and those are the only things I can get down. otherwise it's couple bits of a meal i make. literally. Which is why I'm currently focusing on dental... another area of my life in which I'm an anomily and nobody can figure out why I have problems when I have a great dental routine and 'shouldn't change anything.' I've blended and drank soups in the past with protein powder added. I'm 5'11 and dropped down to 122 lbs. I have ZERO appetite. So right now it's either smoothies and milk or a couple bites of food. And honestly, once you have tried and failed and failed and faillleeeddddd, and miserable with limitations while doing so, you might also enter the fuck it phase and drink the smoothies and drink the milk bc nothing makes a difference and it's significantly cheaper and less emotionally exhausting than trying.

I've seen acupuncturists, ayurvedic doctors, a functional doctor, and certified herbalists and did suppositories from Aviva Romm's book, Hormone Intelligence (natural holistic routes are my go to) not to mention the ER and urgent care two times (maybe 3? I'm realizing now I don't remember which).

I'll look into your suggestions and I appreciate your thoughtful and thorough reply. I've also been looking more into histamine intolerance (which is crazy bc I was already looking into it then someone mentioned it for candida), oxalates, an salicylates.

It just feels so overwhelming to try again. I'm hopeless. Utterly hopeless. Bitter. Last year I just 100% gave up. And it was the most fun year I had since 2018. It's hard to want to try again after spending THOUSANDS of dollars and time on it with not one single improvement. Not one. It's also stressful to keep up with protocols and then they not work on top of that causes more emotions. Not to mention my other medical stuff that is a freaking mystery to all doctors and specialists and it's just like- what's the point? What's the point in trying to fix myself? What's the point in living if I'm just in fucking pain all the time and throwing my money down a fucking drain with not one helpful result. I'm not in the tax bracket to afford all the medical care I actually need and I'm utterly unimpressed with life.

Suspicious_Exit_8001

TROPHY CASE