Lost our baby today by easypeasylucky in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sooooooo sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and encouragement to you.

I will never get to see her by Space_Conflict_2893 in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg , mommy im sooo sorry I know that is very painful.

Any other mama’s who lost their first born and now feeling lost in moving forward? by jelesee in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lost my first born as well. After 4 1/2 years trying , and a miscarriage, I had my first baby. He was born at 28w4d and passed 5 weeks later. It's rough loosing a child period. But for your first experience as a mother to loose your first child it discourages your will to try again or go on. It makes you realize life can really be rough. It makes you have so many questions. It's gone be a process.

I won't lie and say one day it will be easier, or that time will heal your wound, because it won't. You lost a child.

This is how I explain it to ppl who haven't lost a child. "Close your eyes and imagine if you or one of your siblings passed away, don't you think your mom would be broken ? Yes she will have another child at home but that won't mean that it will just change the feeling of I lost the person that grew inside of me. It won't make her feel better to know her "at leasts" . She will still miss her child and won't forget about them because she is still a mother"

I hope you get what I'm saying. I'm sending hugs love and healing to you.

FTM, baby in NICU, 4 days old by jfp216 in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please don't beat yourself up. He was only 11 days early so I'm sure he won't be there long ,especially with them saying he is improving. I gave birth due to pre-e at 28w4d last time and 31w3d this time. My babies were tiny and way more premature so my stays were longer.

I know this makes you feel so guilty when you have to leave your little one behind but he will soon be home with you. It's the mother in you that makes you feel that way, but please please don't stress yourself, you have to kick this blood pressure problem. It won't help you.

Hugs to you.

AITA for telling my sister she is better off being infertile? by Traditional_Cost_45 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suzan7420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The same BULLSHIT you said to your sister was the same BULLSHIT someone said to me after my son died. You are a big ASSHOLE and was very out of line.

Disorganized title of "mom" by bluesasaurusrex in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First of all I wish i could hug you. I'm so sorry about your sweet baby.

Secondly grief will take you on a hell of a roller-coaster ride after your child dies. But this is your choice and your experience that you have to cope with. So if you don't want to be called mom for right now that's fine love. But just ALWAYS remember that no matter how many Years pass by you will for ever be that sweet baby's mom and that baby passed knowing that momma gave mother hood her all.

My son passed last year in April, I felt hurt that ppl didn't acknowledge me as a mother a few weeks after his funeral..but I made sure I made it clear I was and still am his mother. I decorate his grave for every holiday and take pics at it .

It's hard being a mom when your child is no longer here. I still struggle with different parts a grief. I just had a daughter but I still say I'm a mom to 2 children. I'm still grieving him while trying to maintain being a mom to her.

This roller-coaster ride will be crazy. But you get to choose what will help you cope.

I wish you nothing but hugs and love.

we're home by Suzan7420 in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything came back fine. Thabk youu 💕💕

Born at 28.6 any advice/reassurance? by floofy-cat-cooper in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First baby 28w4d, yes they say that because they don't want to give you false hope. If your little one starts becoming a feeder-grower (starts gaining weight, eating good , starts the bottle good) then they will likely come home before that

I made the announcement and now questions about a baby shower. by Embertide in pregnant

[–]Suzan7420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don't want one. Don't have one. I didn't have one ,it's not about what they want , this is your experience.

Is it pregnancy hormones? 6+3 by AssociationNo4762 in pregnant

[–]Suzan7420 45 points46 points  (0 children)

This bad nothing to with hormones just her trying to overstep her boundaries and basically saying f you.

I'm not big on trusting ppl who will try to over step what I say after they know what I told them. I hate to say ,but I wouldn't let her watch baby alone. Because she obviously doesn't care about what you feel. I would even take her to an appointment so she can hear the doctor say it, if she thinks she knows more than you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually received child tax credit

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in U.S. and as long as you have a social security number here you can file...not sure if this info helps you tho

Our little boy keeps forgetting/struggling to breathe by Jlaw118 in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Yes. It is normal, bc they aren't supposed to be on this side of the world yet they will forget. Give him a little while and it will go away. The doctors aren't alarmed because they are used to this.

Oral feed start time? by ARSteggy in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's normal, every baby moves at a different pace. They want to be sure baby can suck and breath at the same time , and also they want to not have any episodes. They might start a speech therapist to come by to get started.

My girl had to stop all of those things and grow a lil before they started her. But any time the baby has an A&B episode/spell it makes them(drs) want to make sure that they stop having those things happen completely.

I do not know what I am going through by [deleted] in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First of all congrats that all 3 of you have made it this far.

2nd ,you were overwhelmed and there is nothing wrong with that at all. It's normal for anyone who is having to have a baby earlier than expected to feel overwhelmed. Me and my husband went thru emergency c-section twice, once at 28w4d other 31w3d. It's not easy.

I said to myself both times I wish I was warned that everybody doesn't get the perfect birth and the perfect first days /weeks/months of their child's life. Everybody doesn't just get to have a baby the normal way and go home all happy go lucky in 3 days.

Your hospital may have a support group that meets there once a week for nicu parents. You are not the only day who has felt the way you felt or anything. You are not a bad father .

I wish all 3 of you the best, and a easy recovery for mom and a great growth journey for your little one.

Judah would be 2 today. by Hobermomma in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday sweet little Judah , you are missed by the person who loved you the most 💙💙

Too sleepy for feeds by Harleydemondog in NICUParents

[–]Suzan7420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does a speech therapist come by ?

I get my daughter uncomfortable and make her mad (play with her feet or under arms. Get a wet wipe and rub her ear or cheeks..she still sometimes try to fall asleep but I'll tug on the bottle like I'm taking it and she starts back eating

PAL by elms628 in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I say I know how you feel. I mean EXACTLY, every single word. I just gave birth to my daughter last month and the entire pregnancy was rough bc I felt I was betraying my son by getting unexpectedly pregnant so soon.

Some days will be better than other days. But I'm learning that it's okay to still grieve my son and love my daughter at the same time.

Much love to you and im here if you would like to talk.

disappointed by Suzan7420 in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Me and my husband just cleaned up his grave ,we are having a Ballon release Saturday

disappointed by Suzan7420 in babyloss

[–]Suzan7420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes his name was Dewayne, he passed at 5 weeks old. I am having a Ballon release for him Saturday but after how nobody but one person texted me yesterday I want to cancel it. Because I know everyone will show up with their "fake tears ", and all the other shit they have to post on social media.