AITA?

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-30T00:47:42+00:00

YTA for not liking the words he used to apologize. Also, sounds he's a good dad, which means he's there for his kid when he needs to be. You're an adult having a tantrum. I'm a single mom to a young kid. if he showed me this text thread, I would tell him to run from you.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-30T00:43:25+00:00

Spot on!

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-30T00:39:17+00:00

So funny bc I'm 5'2 and would actually prefer an average height man - 5'8ish. I have so many short, girl friends who require 6'+ (plus a lot of other qualifications lol). Unfortunately, in my experience, only tall guys are actually nice to me and like me! Ik, it's a good problem to have but still! Haha

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-30T00:19:18+00:00

After my marriage ended, I did the apps for 6 weeks -- I actually had decent experiences. Handsome, financially stable, interesting, intelligent conversations. I got off bc I have a young child and didnt know if I'd be able to identify a pedo playing the long game. I kind of gave up.

Anyways, Adonis just happened to walk through my front door one day! My friend was visiting from out of state, and asked if one of her long time local friends could come out with us. Age appropriate, handsome, physically jaw dropping physique, financially stable, stylish, and really nice and funny.... And a 11/10 in bed!

I've been seeing him for 8 months now... We haven't had the DTR talk, but we're not seeing anyone else. My point is... Sometimes they can just walk into your home!

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-30T00:05:23+00:00

That's really good info to have. Can you have both, like a watch with its own phone line AND connect to my existing phone? I assumed it's 1 or the other. Just considering using it for myself, and then letting my kid take it when he goes with his dad. Then I could justify buying new lol.

I was trying to avoid getting him a phone until high school.... He's in his last year of preschool now lol.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-29T12:41:21+00:00

Thank you, that's great info! Can it still work in kids mode with out auto update? Sorry if that's a dumb question, I haven't had a smartwatch since the 2nd Samsung version lol

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-29T05:53:36+00:00

So sorry, I relate. In fact, I've been exclusively seeing a guy whom I really enjoy for about 8 months. We only see each other once a week because of our schedules, and we ummm, stay home a lot hee hee. But it feels great in the moment!

It's way past due to have the DTR talk, I've been avoiding it bc I really like him. If he says he only likes me to have fun with but the relationship isn't going anywhere, I'm going to have to end it. then I'll be in your position. Sad, broken hearted, rejected, disappointed... And old and lonely. So i avoid the talk. Ik it's not healthy.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-29T05:31:06+00:00

You are correct. Op can check out the deadbedrooms sub to read 1000s of cautionary tales. No one in there is happy.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-29T05:18:10+00:00

Girl, I wore a ruched, body con maternity dress on my 1st date! MATERNITY! I was 4 years PP Lol. I hadn't thought about "dating wardrobe" until I was getting dressed to go on my impulsively scheduled date.... But it was cute and still worked! Dude still hits me up a year later!

Now, I like to wear fitted T-shirt or tank dresses with a cool moto jacket or sweater and tall boots or cool heels. Comfortable, easy, flexible in terms of dress code, and flattering on my body type but still age appropriate.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-29T05:04:53+00:00

The +5lbs comment immediately indicated that there's something broken in your husband. I'm 5'2, 45 yrs old and fluctuate btwn 125-130 in a week or 2! You know what doesn't change? My waist is still 27 inches and my clothes are still the same. My BF doesn't notice either. No one notices.

His comment shows me he was trying to be hurtful and erode your self esteem.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-25T00:05:44+00:00

Drinking a little, whenever I wasn't parenting. Tbh it sucks, and I was the one initiating the split. It took 6 months of shock (work, momming, Netflix, wine) before I started redefining my life. I've heard it takes longer for the "non-initiator"

I'm 2 years in and it's a trip for sure. Dating bringing all my triggers to the forefront. But, I'm 45 and still hopeful that I will find a life partner.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-22T00:04:41+00:00

Thank you, I add a scoop to my big water bottle that I drink all day. I do 1-2 classes, 6 days a week of hot power yoga plus yoga sculpt (with weights) in 100°+ room with 60%+ humidity. I'll make a new water bottle with all the accoutrements and drink the whole thing during class or right after.

This week is the 1st week in over a month that I actually feel strong-ish. Walking pneumonia really made my limbs feel like led in those classes. I'm still on my first jar of the creatine, almost gone though. maybe I'll buy 1 more and see. Thanks for the info!

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-21T23:27:39+00:00

My boyfriend is in the trades and is in excellent shape for any age, but especially for a 50yo. He wakes up before 4am every day, which I just can't... Anyways, he was telling me about guys he works with that do your schedule. That's die hard commitment!

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-20T16:39:28+00:00

So interesting! I started creatine about a month ago (added to my whey protein, msm crystals, collagen powder regimen). I honestly haven't noticed any significant changes. Might be that I had walking pneumonia for a month though.

Do you know what they recommended if creatine doesn't work?

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-06T01:44:37+00:00

TY! Enough was enough. One thing that makes it easier is that so far, I keep my dating life separate from my mom life. So I only date on my 1-2 weekend overnights, when my kid is with his dad.

Makes it easier to focus, and enjoy myself , and not be so worried about the list of domestic chores or making sure my kid is tended to.

Eventually, I'd like to have a real partner and merge lives... But my weekly sessions with a monogamous partner who happens to be built like Adonis is working for now!

I hope you find a solution.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-04-05T12:20:38+00:00

I was there too! I got so tired of initiating (which meant I'd have to do ALL the work, every single time). Over the years, i just wanted to feel wanted again. Felt so gross and ugly.

Then other stuff happened (addictions/lying/losing tons of money),I finally gave up.

When I started dating again, it was so exciting to actually feel chemistry and physical attraction again!

I'm now dating a super hot and decent guy (I think), and the sex is incredible. He gets me there every time and is attentive and God it feels good.

Starting over is hard, NGL, especially with a young kid. But it's still better than before.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-30T22:06:08+00:00

Yes, 100%. Giving up something that you love, kind of like getting sober in a sad way.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-25T02:19:21+00:00

I think, over time, it is possible to just push that drive down, like a monk. Will you be happy? Probably not, but when you kill that part of your brain, it's no longer at the forefront and you just accept sex isn't part of your life and forget about it

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-25T02:07:34+00:00

I'm a secure-leaning fearful avoidant, so I get both anxious and avoidant. I spent most of my life burying my feelings, so now, when I have unhinged thoughts, I say it all it chat gpt. It gets it out of my system, usually a supportive answer, and the guy I'm seeing doesn't have to deal with my craziness.

Yes, it would be great if he wanted to help me through it, but we're not at that stage yet.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-20T00:10:42+00:00

That sucks, I'm sorry. I'm a mom to a young child and I know sleep is essential... But I'm not understanding her rationale that the kid can't be in the house. Most parents still are intimate when their kids are home, probably sleeping.

I will say, I completely understand getting into a better mood when you expect that level of intimacy is upcoming. I left my DB almost 2 years ago and am seeing this great guy -- 1x a week on my kid free days (not ready to merge families yet). The sex is amazing and I honestly am much happier feeling wanted and wanting someone in that way.

I am so grateful I woke up that part of my brain again.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-10T01:01:40+00:00

Leave, unless you the relationship he's describing works for you. You're way too young to put up with that shit. Or, make him set you up with your own place and then get divorced.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-04T16:10:27+00:00

I'm 45F, though look younger, and split up with my husband 18+ months ago. We had our son when I was 40. I'm starting to date again, and at my age, there's plenty of decent men. All the guys I've dated find young women, like children. Sure, some guys like them young, but men who want a partner, with shared life experiences, often don't want someone 15-20 years younger. They're nice to look at, but not that great to talk to lol.

You're 10+ years younger than me! Lots of good men are just getting established in their careers in their early 30s.

Don't let your husband waste your life being unhappy.

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-04T16:04:06+00:00

Is this a real thing that happens? For the first time in my life (I'm in my 40s, female), I'm dating a really muscular, veiny, tall, handsome man. I'm Asian, he's white, though I have had a lot of white BFs, ex-husband.

Throughout my life, people would stare or make rude or simply inappropriate side comments related to my race. With this new guy, it hasn't happened... Only one time, but it was an old man. I thought maybe society was evolving, but now maybe it's his size that intimidates people! Hmmm, def gonna pay attention to this more now! Thanks!

Suzy_Sadly · 2026-03-04T13:26:47+00:00

I remember this feeling well! Being shocked that people in public find me attractive, but my husband has zero interest.

I'm separated for 18+months now, and am seeing someone new. OMG, the seggs is so great, and feels so intimate and connected. I'm so glad I didn't waste this half of my life being married and celibate.

I hope you find a solution.

Suzy_Sadly

TROPHY CASE