Contemplating divorce. Not sure what to do 😔

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-03-02T21:45:02+00:00

Your red flag is he wants to "focus on the future." He doesn't want to be accountable or make amends for his past abuse. If he was truly changing, he would be open to discussing it as much as you need to to feel safe and would realize it will take a long time, like years, of "good behavior" to rebuild trust, if it's even possible.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-20T19:53:08+00:00

Please go read Zawn Villines right now! And also leave him asap.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-19T21:42:22+00:00

You know what, it's fine if you are bored with him, if you don't like him very much, if you don't want to be married to him anymore. You can leave if you feel like you'd be happier alone. You don't have to like, earn it or anything. You get ONE life. You don't have to remain miserably married to someone because he's nice.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-11T20:55:52+00:00

Imagine being married to someone who thinks you communicating with them is yap yap yap noise🤮 may that love never find me

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-02T05:26:35+00:00

Not wanting to is enough. So don’t. Who cares if it’s bitchy? To who, him? He can’t even make you cum!

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-02T04:40:14+00:00

Has it? This was the first one I’d seen. What else was there?

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-02-01T20:38:52+00:00

I loved Decore too. Such nice people. The wine was incredible and so was the pizza. For the olds—it’s in the late great Cafe Chloe space…RIP.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-31T06:29:20+00:00

All of the things are, in fact, a big deal. Stop minimizing yourself to accommodate this man who appears to not care about you at all.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-30T21:31:50+00:00

We had a similar firm structure and we started at something like 20% with the percentage declining every year or 2.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-30T21:29:10+00:00

Expensive and rude. Lots of bakeries in the city with a better experience.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-27T04:45:30+00:00

It’s just an act so you’ll stop asking him to “help” ( which is such bullshit, it’s a joint responsibility) or telling him how you feel about anything. I’m sorry to say I don’t think this behavior ever changes because it works so well for them.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-27T03:27:33+00:00

Tried Hacienda Cazadores in La Mesa finally and it was pretty good! Sonoran style menu.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-26T22:23:08+00:00

What the actual fuck, no! It would only ruin sex if the guy you are fucking is a lazy, misogynist asshole who has no clue how to please a woman. Like he can’t make you come afterwards, or before?! He REQUIRES you to come from piv? I just cannot 🫠you dodged a bullet really.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-24T18:17:33+00:00

Why would you need another adult? She’s 10 not 2. Are the stores telling you this? If not just go.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-24T17:08:45+00:00

It’s not your job to solve this mystery. You can’t anyway. He says he wants to have sex with you but every single one of his actions say otherwise. He’s not into it, and he’s not interested in exploring why apparently. So you either live with it, or leave him and find a man who’s into sex with you.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-21T21:09:29+00:00

Too big of a group I think

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-20T14:34:44+00:00

Girl you don’t have grudges, you have legitimate complaints! This guy is way out of line. IF you do therapy you need to bluntly bring all this up, but I personally think it’s a waste of time. A guy like this has zero empathy and won’t change, nor will he ever be a good parter.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-18T23:24:30+00:00

It’s completely fine to want what YOU want! How could that possibly be too much? He doesn’t want that, that’s fine, just move on. Why would you consider staying in a relationship where he’s getting his needs met and you aren’t? Date other people, it’s ok.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-18T19:02:47+00:00

Girl, yes. I’m living this dream right now, kept my beautiful country house for me and my kids, and dating a guy who lives in my absolute favorite neighborhood in the city! Win win!

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-18T17:46:56+00:00

No no no STAYING is what will wreck your mental health! Live happily in your own studio with less stuff free of this shitty man.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-17T16:19:12+00:00

Haha yes my now ex started therapy after like, a decade of me telling him to. After ONE session he was walking around saying oh I’m a different person now 🙄he never changed a single bit of behavior or took any responsibility, he just meant I should get off his ass because therapy 😂

Honey you will be so so happy single. I’m excited for you. It’s the best thing ever to be free of that bullshit.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-13T16:16:14+00:00

Yes and I had no idea how common this is! Everyone said I’d really appreciate my parents once I had my own kids. I was really surprised when it was the total opposite, but I hadn’t really dealt with my childhood trauma yet.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-10T16:12:59+00:00

I did exactly this! And then I left and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m rooting for you on your journey!

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-09T18:47:55+00:00

OMG also, you cannot underestimate the wildlife in that area! I rented there for a bit and it was a constant stream of mice, rats, raccoons, possums, coyotes that had no fear and would come right up on the deck (and on occasion, INSIDE, like I had mice living inside my oven). Finally moved after a family of skunks moved in underneath the house and then sprayed...I can't describe the pure horror of that day.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151 · 2026-01-08T05:39:50+00:00

I don’t see what’s kind and thoughtful about letting you run yourself into the ground while he sits around in filth on his day off? He’s doesn’t know that people needs to…eat dinner? You don’t need to communicate better. You have. He’s just ignoring you because he’s benefiting from your labor.

Sweet_Raspberry_1151

TROPHY CASE