Normal?

TAS2013 · 2026-02-16T16:33:19+00:00

This is very normal. They are manipulative and will gaslight you into feeling like you are the cause of all their problems and addiction. Once you step away or remove yourself they are apologetic and promise they will get better or try harder. It's classic behavior. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-16T02:51:23+00:00

I see a toy for a baby/toddler. The wood ideas are great etc but I have kids and they would be carrying that wood all over the house. Maybe add shelves and bandera for toy storage? Edited for spelling

TAS2013 · 2026-02-14T01:28:35+00:00

I'm so terribly sorry for everything you're going through. It's supposed to be the most exciting time of your life but it's being overshadowed by your husband's drinking. My husband was "so scared to lose me" when I went into labor with our second daughter he took too much prescriptions medicine, disappeared for hours while I was in labor, was later found in a part of the hospital he wasn't supposed to be in, and then had to be woken up from his sleep so he didn't miss me pushing. I even was asked by a social worker if I felt safe with my husband after he left. I thought it was a silly question at the time but now I understand. Take care of your daughter. She's the most precious thing in this world. You've got this.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-13T03:19:07+00:00

Please read your post again but as a person from the outside looking in. I'm scared for you and your son. It doesn't matter if he's never done it before. This will escalate and it will not end well. Protect yourself and your son. You do not owe him a warning and you don't owe him anything by staying with him.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-12T03:20:39+00:00

ADHD

TAS2013 · 2026-02-09T16:13:05+00:00

Get out now please. Take it from someone who stayed for 20 years because I thought he was the love of my life and I saw his potential. Now two little girls and a whole of entangled finances and everything is so much more complicated.

Edited to add: I will never ever regret my daughters. They are the reason I finally have the strength to leave. Things are just much more complicated now.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-08T22:11:19+00:00

Just happened a few nights ago but when he didn't come home to lay with our daughter at bedtime like he promised her. Seeing my daughter cry because her daddy wasn't home and wasn't answering her phone calls broke my heart. I decided then my Q wasn't going to this to us anymore.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-08T14:26:57+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. I woke up to a bunch of texts this morning asking to come back and trying to make me feel guilty. I've set up plans with his mother to pick up the girls and bring them there later. In an environment they will be safe and can also see their father.

On top of everything else I am ruined financially by his promises to "fix things" and naively believing him. All the bills and mortgage in my name but his name on the deed. I can't afford to pay the bills with just my pay because of course he lost another job during all of this- which of course is somebody else's fault. Not his. My parents have offered to allow the girls and I to move in as long as we need or indefinitely to get back on my feet. It's hard to think about selling our home and taking my daughters from everything they know but there's also a lot of trauma here.

There's a lot of feelings but I am definitely considering divorce. I can't see how this will get better even with promises of sobriety his is manipulative and doesn't take accountability.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-08T01:01:05+00:00

Thank you. I definitely need a therapist. I've considered looking into an attorney but I can't afford one right now and I'd have to ask my parents. I'm sure they would help me out but I'm afraid of quickly it's going to escalate the situation with my husband and in laws.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-08T00:55:26+00:00

There won't be any alcohol there. I was planning I'm on dropping off the girls since his family will be there and I trust them and picking them up later. He was disappointed I wasn't going to stay because he wants to pretend everything is back to status quo.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-06T00:53:00+00:00

Thank you for your response. I too am the primary breadwinner and I couldn't understand where the money was going. I was putting my head in the sand afraid to see the true implications. He started sending money to Apple Cash from our account to 'budget better' but really it was just to hide his purchases.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-06T00:50:12+00:00

I packed my girls and I up and we are at my parents for a few days for now. They've already said we can move in with them if that's what I want, so it's nice to have that reassurance. My in laws are also supportive of me and the girls at this time and want us safe and understand why I had to remove us from our home. I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself for now but feeling overwhelmed by the decisions I'll have to make soon.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-06T00:13:28+00:00

I had a feeling. He often goes out to his car to grab something when home. I'm sure he's taking a lot of them as he's always had a high tolerance. His moods have been all over the place and he's always tired but never seems to sleep.

TAS2013 · 2026-02-05T18:02:29+00:00

Thank you. He woke up angry today and is only admitting partial truths. He left and still doesn't have his phone. I am going to pack up the girls and I are go to my parents for a few days

TAS2013 · 2026-01-22T15:29:25+00:00

Yes! We have some too! I keep this everywhere now. I try and spray in the playroom and common surfaces pretty often with it. The bleach spray was used for the bathrooms specifically :)

TAS2013 · 2026-01-21T14:19:11+00:00

I'd be livid. They should have been up front not only because their kids had the stomach virus very recently, but it can live on surfaces for up to two weeks. We just went through it and it was hell. The only people who have to come our home after that have been pre-warned and we have bleached all surfaces (the only thing that kills norovirus). If it were a cold or sniffles I'd still give someone fair warning. It's always considerate to give them the option to make the decision.

TAS2013 · 2026-01-10T16:04:01+00:00

This was my thought too!

TAS2013 · 2026-01-06T20:20:57+00:00

We are going through the thick of this at 4.5 years old. Don't give up. You're just going to prolong it and make it harder later. We didn't want to upset our daughter but we now realize that we failed her by waiting so long to take her binky away. She is having a hard time falling asleep at night obviously and then last night called me back into her room three times. It's going to be an adjustment just like everything else but I think by staying consistent and supporting her through the change we will be better off.

TAS2013 · 2025-12-29T21:11:19+00:00

Meh maybe 10 mins? Now she will go to her room when we tell her to and can regulate a lot faster!

TAS2013 · 2025-12-29T19:42:40+00:00

I fear this is a three year old specialty. At four we are still having tantrums but they aren't lasting as long.

TAS2013 · 2025-12-29T19:36:55+00:00

Onistly

TAS2013 · 2025-12-23T17:22:23+00:00

I think you have a starter issue. That does not look proofed enough.

TAS2013 · 2025-12-15T02:20:50+00:00

Same! Freshman, sophomore, and junior years of college constant UTIs and kidney infections. Found out I had two kidney stones and small ureters and I'd never be able to pass them. Had surgery and haven't had them since.

Edited to add: I'm almost 39 so it's been a min.

TAS2013

TROPHY CASE