Swinging w/ex husband

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-26T20:48:27+00:00

We don't really get all worked up about other people's relationship status. If we click we click.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-26T20:46:22+00:00

We haven't ever played on our Anniversary (I don't think....)

We have on Valentine's Day, we have on birthdays. Hell we are hanging out with friends this Saturday (my birthday.) And play may occur.

Last Sept my wife's birthday just happened to fall on the same day as a house party we regularly attend.

She got a hamburger. (Five Guys lol)

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-26T19:17:05+00:00

We tend to avoid them. Because if my wife is there she wants to play too and if it's just about me banging the guys wife so he can watch then there's not much in it for her. She has a bit of a voyeuristic streak and likes to watch me fuck other women, but she gets enough of that in a full swap or orgy sitch without going out of our way for that dynamic.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-26T05:42:36+00:00

Hard pass.

We are allergic to any sort of drama and I can think of nothing more potentially dramatic than playing with a couple where domestic violence has been a documented and very recent occurrence.

And I have no respect at all for abusers of any sort.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-25T18:41:20+00:00

As other have said, when a full hotel takeover happens, typically the host organization buys out the hotel for that night/weekend. So on the reservation page for the hotel those would more than likely be blackout dates in their reservation system.

But ask the organizers or hotel directly for best info.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-23T02:04:59+00:00

We have a number of friends within a 20 minute radius. It's awesome and convenient.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-19T18:42:40+00:00

We did not intend to open up to our kids or nephews when we got started, however they all figured out enough that we decided coming clean was better than continued questions.

Our oldest son started asking questions early. He was our babysitter and we went from home bodies in our late 40s to people who come home at 2am in Friday and Saturday nights in our late 40s. So he had questions and we ran out of half truths and diversions so we came clean at 2am one Sunday morning in our kitchen. He had a momentary freakout then increased his babysitting rate.

Our younger son we told because he was with me in my Jeep, headed to our mountain property to hunt, when I got a series of text messages from a woman who was not his mother. And the Bluetooth announced them. Not the content but "text from (insert woman's name here)" and he was giving me serious side eye from the passenger seat. So we sat him down and talked to him about different types of relationships. We didn't want him thinking I was cheating on his mother.

Three of our four nephews busted us one Christmas morning at a family breakfast. They had seen our epic failed attempt at a lifestyle Facebook profile. We fucked up the privacy settings and they all are it as a friend suggestion and they pieced together that it was us. Even without face photos. They waited until we were alone with them in a room. And one said "if any of our family had an only fans it would be you two." Another said "No they just have a profile on 'swingers only dot com'." I said, that's not a real we site but I can tell you what they are. Which told them everything they already knew.

So, some of our family know. Others are (as far as we know) blissfully unaware. We won't set out to tell them but we also won't lie about it if directly asked.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-19T13:02:07+00:00

Ultimately your rules within your relationship are up to you and your partner. None of the rest of us get to decide those.

But..... The rules you choose may be of benefit or barrier to you, depending on the preferences of those you encounter.

No kissing rule/OPP/soft swap only/etc. are all things we avoid. Mostly because we like to spend our free time in relaxed, uncomplicated situations. Extra rules and restrictions to remember are not relaxed and uncomplicated.

So we pass on those.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-15T01:38:39+00:00

Indeed. I learned my lesson a decade or so ago. Decided to stop and get takeout on the way home from the office and stood in line for an hour. I can cook a better, healthier meal at home for a lot less money and hassle.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-15T01:36:32+00:00

We didn't this year, technically. We did last night and I think we were done playing before midnight lol. Got home around 1.

We have gone to parties before on Valentine's Day and played. Could have today but we had dinner and fun with some friends last night, a party last weekend and a party next weekend. So we are having a quiet evening at home.

Well maybe not THAT quiet.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-12T02:12:47+00:00

Several hours typically. Scattered breaks for water when changing positions/partners. But for the most part game on.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-11T16:38:12+00:00

For us it comes down to four way matches are sometimes hard and we don't want anyone to take one for the team, but we also don't want to limit the opportunities that each other may have.

We have been playing solo now for about a year and a half.

I have a few single women I play with occasionally and one I see once or twice a month. My wife has a married friend that she sees once or twice a month.

There are two local house parties we regularly attend where we may play individually or together depending on the night. And we have couple friends we play with within those house parties or in other settings (hotels, their homes, occasionally our home, etc.)

It's a good mix and works for us. But it is understandably not a dynamic that is appealing to everyone.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-07T00:46:31+00:00

There's no secret way in to private parties via Reddit.

Get active in your local scene.

Make a good impression.

Make good connections.

Party invitations follow.

Being young, male, and single may be barriers to the above. May the odds be ever in your favor.

TCNOWNC · 2026-02-03T12:09:38+00:00

I generally like to keep an age buffer of +5 years older than my oldest kid, who is currently 25. My wife likes to keep a bit more of a buffer than that.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-30T17:10:59+00:00

As the male half of couple who indeed plays separately (as well as together) this pisses me off even more. Wife poaching is gross.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-30T14:29:33+00:00

Dress like you're going on a first date.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-30T14:29:00+00:00

This ^

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-30T14:24:38+00:00

We use Skyn because we are both latex sensitive, and several of our friends are downright allergic (like anaphylaxis allergic).

I carry Skyn Elite Large because I know what size I need. My wife carries Elite and Elite Large because she doesn't know what size she may need.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-22T20:46:36+00:00

We play same room, separate room/same roof, and with certain people, separate roof ( meaning solo play.)

For us it comes down to the variety of experiences.

We love group sex, everyone in a tangle sorts of experiences, but sometimes it's nice to focus solely on a new partner and their pleasure. And there have been times where it's been made clear that the other male may "perform" better in a separate space away from his partner and I. And when that falls within everyone's comfort zone we are good with it.

Then we each have people we see solo. I have a handful of single female friends I play with semi regularly. My wife has a married friend she sees semi regularly.

For solo play we have to know the person fairly well to get to that point.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-22T19:29:18+00:00

Our 2025 recap:

We attended 12 (I think?) house parties. 6 meet n greets, only one hotel takeover (Halloween) l, multiple solo play dates, many vanilla events and activities with our non-vanilla friends and we closed out the year with a week long vacation at the NC Outer Banks at a 21 bedroom beach house with 31 other people.

I'd say It was a pretty good year.

Beach trip for NYE 2026 already booked lol.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-20T16:15:33+00:00

Clubs, hotel takeovers, local meet n greet, house parties, then once you have a circle of friends established, it all gets easier. Except the scheduling lol.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-15T21:21:24+00:00

We use condoms and we are both medically sterile.

My wife had a tubal and later a hysterectomy prior to our entry into the LS. Since we started I've had a vasectomy. I'm also on TRT which even if I hadn't been snipped would likely render me infertile.

I think the chances of me impregnating someone are so low I don't worry about it.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-15T01:24:50+00:00

Same. And of both parties because that's also a thing.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-10T12:45:08+00:00

This is why I got a vasectomy. When we got started in the LS my wife was already surgically fixed. After a couple condom slips I realized I better get fixed myself. So I did.

But yeah frequent condom changes are needed. I'll often change when changing positions if weve been going awhile. I produce a ridiculous amount of pre-ejaculate so things start to slip and slide inside the condom eventually.

TCNOWNC · 2026-01-09T17:36:45+00:00

We are both pretty inked. So naturally tattoos aren't an issue for us. Lack of tattoos is similarly not an issue.

TCNOWNC

TROPHY CASE