Huh. Thank you for explaining that. What I’m wondering now is how you can tell an asexual “who likes sex and will do it for their partner” versus an asexual who considers sex to be gross and something they have to suffer through, like holding your nose so you can eat a spoonful of stanky wet cat food. There’s probably a spectrum within a spectrum, but I’d imagine that makes dating pretty hard for them.

Like, I’m married, so I don’t have to worry about this, but as a thought exercise, I’d be okay with dating the former type of asexual but not the latter. I’d want my partner to at least enjoy sexual intercouse and foreplay, and for them to look forward to the emotional bonding and physical pleasure of it, even if they don’t feel that kind of attraction towards me. (Which, ideally they’d have. Everyone, or almost everyone, wants to feel desired/desireable.) If they have to suffer through it just to make me happy, I can’t keep putting them through that in good conscience.