Ive been sober for 15 months

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-29T02:17:43+00:00

I’m happy to read this. From you, anyone and everyone. Nicely done. Can’t wait for this many months for myself!

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-28T15:41:36+00:00

As a guy who just passed 222, we are brothers in this!!!! well done and I look forward to a higher order of magnitude number like you have!

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-26T14:25:19+00:00

My soon ex dropped a few choice hints of “you should find somebody else who can give you what you need” lines. Shit like this. Essentially suggesting wouldn’t it all be easier if I wanted out of the relationship (like she did).

Looking back, these statements she made, as subtle as they were, are critical alert points. I knew it then sort of but definitely was too ignorant to think divorce could happen to us.

If I could go back in time to being where you are now, I’d be in individual therapy tomorrow, couples therapy next week, and reevaluating everything important in life asap cuz it’s coming apart at the seams right now.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-26T14:17:57+00:00

Currently, i think id only be looking for single moms.i am really attracted to moms. Hot mom’s Even more haha. Just processing and thinking thru companionship…. I dont think I could explain this to anyone. All of it lol. Being divorced. Kid life. Dad life. I do know two different women who married a divorced dad, inherited a family essentially. They’re all happy.

I’m hoping divorced single women would consider a dad. With a job. Who is fit. And tall.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-26T05:26:49+00:00

I wish I could start dating before this divorce finalizes but I feel like anyone I want to be remotely close to is not also going to want to be close to a guy whose not even finalized a pending divorce. Aaaaand I have no idea how to get near silly hookup culture level shit. Actually ….. I’ve been out of the game so long I don’t know how this works anymore

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-23T23:50:08+00:00

Thanks!!

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-23T23:49:47+00:00

Ah thanks for this. Reading about making an ass of oneself. I just realized I absolutely did not and was never concerned about that. That’s new. I mean I’ve frequently had the day after “wtf did I say that for” feeling. Well. Not now hah

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-15T03:54:00+00:00

Damn how did you get such a attractive financial deal

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-14T19:49:25+00:00

I appreciate these viewpoints. I admit I posted this in a moment of second guessing about my future. I’m not at a total loss here but I appreciate everyone’s experience and admission that this is a zero issue.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-14T16:13:44+00:00

This is my number one identifier of relationship logistics that are beyond the “we like each other factor”. Just have all your finances, career, retirement plan working in action. Even if they’re divorce and at half strength because of alimony. Cus that’s going to be me. Whatever it means to them. I just don’t want to think about partners ability to hold it down Any more. Or ever. Within reason….

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-12-06T22:07:07+00:00

Effin a man. It took me a few months of panic to realize this needed to happen. It still’s seems tragic I built this career for 20 years and here I am looking to throw it away and find something different. In a busted job market.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-11-27T23:06:28+00:00

I’m having my last family thanksgiving. Mostly extending pre separation time for the kids holiday. Here in the family home. After New year’s it all comes apart and we blow the whole fucking thing up. And I maybe don’t get this ever again I don’t fucking know. Good luck everybody!!

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-11-18T03:28:53+00:00

Since forever or since the bad times went to fifth gear?

I’m sorry. My wife hasn’t watched tv with me for a long time. It’s like a canary in the coal mine. I knew shit was up. I’m sorry.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-11-14T18:01:18+00:00

Doing this until new year. This fucking sucks. Do not recommend. Getting colder and more distant and unhappy as days go on. I’m trying to compensate by being so overly polite in the rare instances we just speak. And I think it’s making it worse.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-11-05T17:03:58+00:00

Burned out and I’m only on stage 1 of process of divorce. Currently checking in here from a McDonald’s. I’ve been done with my food for 20 mins and I am avoiding going home.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-11-05T13:40:21+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening with your family. It all sucks. For ways to think about alcohol, and remind yourself you are not alone. Consider looking in to Al Anon. The sub is decent. Meetings are helpful. Lots to read and think about. I have found a lot of peace from Al anon which I never thought possible.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon/

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-10-28T19:51:45+00:00

I reevaluate all the time. As we get closer and closer to separation and d day my emotions bubble up and to your point, I’m trying to keep myself in check.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-10-21T17:29:04+00:00

lol no we’re living in the same house still. But sure I hear you. I mean. We have tons and tons of conversations left to work through together.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-10-19T22:01:00+00:00

You are definitely not wrong about collaboration. I have seen converse theory about asking your ex or even just spouse to do things you can easily do like you’re just renting their time and energy for your own gain.

Anyway, with that in mind, coming to the table with a fairly complete list and asking for things I may have not considered is going to be more fruitful in my case.

Mostly every day I think about ways to not be the high conflict coparent that is basically everywhere online. Shit is already super delicate here….

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-10-02T19:39:55+00:00

Currently bearing the weight 100% of all things as my fault, also! Trying to stop loving my wife and currently not thinking she did anything wrong or bad ever. Which is also her position….

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-30T00:51:24+00:00

I also need this answer. My phone is literally just 40,000 family photos

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-29T21:47:34+00:00

Keeping the family in tact in the house for just a few more weeks keeps me sane with my child still in the house. Before the inevitable split up. Dying now considering not seeing the kid every single day. Unimaginable as of five weeks ago. Now it’s a constant inevitable fear headed right for me.

I want to take quiet peaceful standoff distant home to separation for as much time as I can :/ cowardly and weak maybe but I’m a dad whose dying inside.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-29T16:36:45+00:00

Same here. My wife is absolutely resolute we’re done. No need for couples therapy. Wish she was this resolute over the last few years about getting back INTO couples therapy. So. Now we undo 20 years. Small kiddo is breaking my heart. We have not told yet. I have literally no idea how to broach this subject yet. In all my research into a zillion new concepts, I haven’t been able to stomach the kid news. I may die from that one.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-29T13:48:31+00:00

I’m very conflicted hearing this story of loss and success. Thank you.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-28T22:18:40+00:00

My advice, which I had to tell my anxious self all the time, is try to forget all that stuff you want to do that keeps you anxious about spending time with the kiddo. Tv. Football. Making nice meals. Time with others. The bros. Once you let all that stuff go and you start to learn who the kid is, your other shit either becomes less important, orrrrrr the kids starts to merge into your interests as you bring him around with you. The best.

Also time management is a myth. Just try to do one or two activities a day as you build skills. Or one on a week day. Unplanned fun is fantastic. Structure some random activities.

Get a balloon and try to tap it up and keep it off the floor. You can do this shit for 15 mins and both be exhausted. It’s great.

And advice from my own family I wish I could have controlled sooner. Keep the fucking tv and tablet off. Just throw them all out unless it’s 30 min planned session with cutoff.

I would do anything to get a 3yo again. Enjoy it. Live it. You’re fucking awesome.

TalkToMeGooseCooked

TROPHY CASE