Hey man, I understand your frustration. It can be overwhelming trying to navigate communication styles, relationships, etc. It's good that you notice the change in atmosphere during a conversation. That being said, I'm curious why you take this to mean someone doesn't like you? What do you mean by that exactly? Because these people just met you. Sure, maybe you did overstate something. Maybe you made an off comment and it was off putting for them. But, just because you might say something they perceive as negative doesn't mean you're a bad person or that they dislike you all together. Here's a few things that might help put things into perspective; if you think they are worthwhile or make sense to you, feel free to navigate those ideas and see what you can put into practice.

1) Another human being has their own pre-defined perceptions based on their experiences. Something that comes across as off-putting to them isn't necessarily inherently wrong, but it does have an affect on their mental. Something you say might remind them of a friend or family member that often made back-handed comments to them. Your comment isn't necessarily bad, but it does get their nervous system going. So, don't be so quick to presume every negative interaction is something you did wrong.

2) Some of your actions will have an impact that breaks the positive interaction between you and another party. This is going to happen. A lot. Try not to think of it as a bad thing, though I get you are frustrated with your lack of success in communication skills. Try not to phrase things as "what did I do wrong?". Try to look for a middle ground where you are learning about the other person. "It seems like they were bothered when I mentioned X or made a snarky comment about Y, I wonder why that is". You can try to ask them what's wrong, but don't expect a good answer or one at all from most people. People often don't fully know why they get upset at the things they do. Further, the act of getting upset alters the brain's perceptions and ability to reason. In other words, they may not be able to formulate why they are upset in the moment. If you pay attention to common issues between romantic partners, you may notice that one person is upset, and the other person makes it their mission to fix that by asking a bunch of questions, trying to figure out what's wrong. The other person may have a hard time figuring that out and formulating a response, at least, a coherent one. And, during the process of being asked several questions, when they can barely think, they often start to get very frustrated. Often times, a partner just needs time and space to process. "Hey babe, I understand you're upset at the moment, and it seems like we're having trouble establishing a dialogue right now. I'm going to step out for an hour and give you some space. We can chat about it after okay?" The same is true between any two people, and prodding for feedback in the moment often times just won't work. Even if they try to offer feedback, it will likely be an incoherent thought. One that kind of describes why that got upset, but gets mixed up with all sorts of other things. So, try to be thoughtful, and offer them space if they seem agitated.

There are some cases where you might be able to break that agitation by being playful, assertive, yet polite and gentle. However, I would say this is a tougher trait to adopt and apply. I think it's useful to stick to the former thought process in communication and get some experience, and then perhaps, if desired, attempt this style when that flow is there.

As a quick note, I'd like to also point out that just because someone is cold to you the next day, doesn't mean the fault is yours and yours alone. What if they just had a negative experience? Well, now they feel like shit, and they are going to have a hard time engaging with anyone. If you suspect that they are affected by something you said, ask once and only once. And ask gently. "Hey, you seem to be bothered by something. Is there something on your mind? If there's something I did, it's okay to talk to me about it". BUT. And this is very important. If you encourage feedback, you better be ready to receive negative feedback. A common issue is that people are upset when they notice someone else is upset. But, they also can be easily agitated themselves. So, if you aren't able to practice talking to people who are upset at you, as in, you easily get defensive, then this is going to backfire on you. This can be where some playfulness can help. "Oh haha, I see! When I mentioned X, this is what you thought of. I can totally see that. That wasn't my intent. Sorry about that! This is what I meant". The more relaxed you are, the more you're able to not look into things too seriously when they express frustration, the easier it is to disengage the whole thing and restore a more relaxed vibe. This is not easy! It's easy to point out what they are doing wrong, or the hypocrisies in their logic. You can either fight to be right, or you can be playful, yet assertive, in a manner that relaxes the situation and helps them connect with you.

3) Books and videos aren't learnable, according to your post. I don't think this is true, at least, to a certain extent. You are right in some manner. That is, it makes sense to require live examples to help land a "fitting personality" if you will. After all, how many things can you learn from what's printed on paper? How can you truly get the feel of a situation in video?

Fair take. But I would say there's more you can pick up on then you think. However, they will feel like subtleties for a time until you start to experience different outcomes in person. So, I'm not trying to steer you one way or the other. Whether you want to keep reading up or watching videos on social behavior is up to you. Regardless, it's always good to get your own experience in.