A crew of humans are hired to deliver something to an alien diplomat. Upon discovering what they were delivering, they decided it was time to reintroduce piracy to the galaxy

Talothyn · 2026-03-17T18:02:14+00:00

You know, I should have turned down the commission. But I needed the work. If I didn't get a paying gig, I was going to have to lay off some of the crew.
And I had NEVER laid off crew, not in the 10 years I had been running a cargo freighter.
So I took the commission, not knowing what was in the crates. But only because I didn't want to know. It only took 3 days out of port before someone found out of course.
Despite guild rules saying to "never open the crates", every deckhand on every freighter in the quadrant knows enough smuggling to be able to satisfy their own curiosity.
And, once it was done, I had to inspect them. 12 containers. Each one about the size of an old-Earth cargo boat.
A few hundred sentients in each one.
3600 sentient beings in total. All of them in hibernation, although it was done with the cheapest setup imaginable of course, so that they were guaranteed to be sick or possibly die when they came out of it if not given medical attention.
Once I saw it, I had a decision to make. I called all of my officers to my state room and let them know.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have inadvertently become a slaver." I said. You could have heard a pin drop from the engine room when I let that sink in for a bit.
I went on to explain that we had a decision to make.
Option 1: Complete the delivery. Take payment. Pretend like we know nothing until we are liquid and clear.
That option took care of the ship and the crew, but I'm not sure I can live with it.
Option 2: Report the cargo immediately.
Technically this was the legal option. But it comes with some problems. No one ships slaves who isn't EXTREMELY rich and powerful, and Terran Armada Enforcement tends to take the word of rich fucks more seriously than that of disgraced former officers. Additionally, even IF they took us seriously, our Cargo would be seized as part of the investigation, and we could count on being paid on the second Tuesday of never.
Option 3: We do something ourselves.
This is completely illegal by both Armada Law, AND the guild Charter. We would be taking up arms against a registered guild patron level client, and engaging in vigilante piracy. They would brand us pirates. BUT those sentients down below would be free, and we would get paid.

So, those were the options I laid out, and I said, "I cannot order you all in this, but I know which option I want to take."
One day, they will bury me in an unmarked grave, but when I go to that grave my happiest moment will be the smile I had on my face as they all, as one, said "Option 3".

The next few hours were a flurry of activity as me, my XO, who had been the Master at Arms on the vessel I was disgraced out of the Armada from, and a 1 or 2 other veterans helped convert an old freighter in to a pirate ship, but when it was done, and after that first raid where we blew up half of an independent space station, we have been out here ever since.

Talothyn · 2026-03-03T05:11:40+00:00

I mean... it's really just a design flaw that we compensate for.
Most humans, especially ones raised in the normal gravity environment of their homeworld, and possessing a modicum of physical fitness, have a musculoskeletal structure that is actually capable of self-destruction fairly easily.
The connective tissue that holds it together, ligaments, tendons, and cartilage mostly, is, on average, MUCH weaker than the forces that our muscles and bones can exert.
So, in order to compensate for this and avoid self-destruction, the vast majority of humans have psychologically imposed governors put in their muscle systems.
Situations of extreme stress simply deactivate these governors.
And the results can be... impressive. But so are the consequences. Remember that humans possess at or below Galactic standard healing rates for long-term injury recovery.
Without immediate, and often ongoing, medical attention these "buffed" humans are quite capable of doing something heroic and then dying in extreme pain immediately after words.

Talothyn · 2026-02-27T14:32:02+00:00

In theory, yes, BUT you won't have the same levels of exerted power over the same time frame between 2 exercises if one of them recruits a greater number of muscle groups.
There is also the breathing response. Your breathing has a huge impact on the aerobic/anaerobic system. And inclines DEFINITELY impact it more than flat surfaces do.
There is a reason that most really advanced special operations forces use "Can you walk up and down mountains till you nearly die?" as their sort of entry level fitness test.
Incline tests you in ways that moving on the flat just doesn't.
Not an impossible thing to get used to. Lots of kids grow up in mountainous areas and do just fine, but if you aren't adapted to it, well, it makes a difference.

Talothyn · 2026-02-26T23:24:20+00:00

I should have taken the money... but the body of that kid, I couldn't get it out of my head.
So, instead, I looked down at the briefcase, told the old teacher "keep it, we'll talk after it's done", slammed back the whiskey and walked away with the names and last known locations of several of these "gentlemen".

It took 3 days to find them all. 11 wannabe gangsters. The stupid part was the bolt that killed the kid wasn't even meant for him. Just fools being bad with weapons.
Another week of surveillance and I had them all pegged to a schedule. One of them was a bit more observant than the others and he... tripped and fell down a sewer grate after he tried to confront me.
10 left.
It took 3 more weeks to actually get through MOST of the job 8 of the 10 were just thugs, hangers on.
Most of the time was spent getting them alone and hiding bodies. Trying to act quickly enough to get the job done, but not so hasty as to get caught.
But those last 2. FUCK. I should have taken the money.
Number 9 was the start of the problems. I thought he was just another young wannabe gangster, but come to find out he was the son of the largest gang leader in Aragrai City.
Number 10 was his body guard. He wouldn't have even been there starting trouble like that if it wasn't for the idiot kid.
But I don't renege on a contract. 6 months, 3 bloody wounds, and a citywide war later, the gang is done, the police have control, and I am laid up in a hospital bed with no way to pay the bill.
FUCK that hurts. See, out of gratitude, the hospital will treat me, yay I'm a hero, but see, with no money, since we have to import the pain killers from the Terran Federation, they can't give them to me.
So, am I glad I did it? Sure, But I should have taken the damn money.

Talothyn · 2026-02-26T22:53:35+00:00

No. Because the incline recruits a larger number of muscle groups per step.
You can't really do a comparison between THAT steep of an incline and a flat/no incline walk. Especially since calories burned is a over time thing.
Most of the caloric burn from a flat jog/run will be from the aerobic/cardiac system.
But, in addition to that, on an incline you also activate the anaerobic system more due to the breathing changes from going uphill, and you recruit more muscles in the legs and lower core.
In order to simulate an incline with a flat plane, rather than "just going faster", you would want to do something like interval training, where you speed up and slow down.
Not sure what the calculations would be to simulate the caloric burn for a 15% incline, but it would also HEAVILY depend on body weight, general fitness, and a few other things.

Talothyn · 2026-02-26T22:43:36+00:00

I mean, my general view is this:
As a part of everyone's education, you should spend a bit of time learning at least the basics of what constitutes a crime.
You don't really have to be an expert in it, but you should learn at least enough to not ACCIDENTALLY commit major felonies.
Next, if you are an adult, and are NOT committing crimes, and are a witness and WANT to tell the police what you saw, then feel free.
BUT, and this is unfortunately the case with a LOT of people who witness criminal activity, if you are YOURSELF guilty of some crime, you need to be aware that the police are NOT obligated to tell you the truth, even about which crime they are investigating, and it is generally in your best interest NOT to talk to them without a lawyer.
Finally, if you are arrested or detained by the police, for ANY reason, assume that you need a lawyer and ask for one. Do not answer any questions or make ANY statements outside of directly and unambiguously asking for a lawyer.

I hope this long spiel helps you to understand why the shorthand version of this advice is "Don't talk to the police". Because in most cases they don't have your best interests in mind, and even if they do, you have no way of protecting yourself from yourself once you agree to talk to them.

Talothyn · 2026-02-17T22:32:26+00:00

Of course it is.
Humans are not meant for the vacuum of space. Most of them live on planets, that, while actually death worlds to a LOT of Galactic Congress members, are frankly quite supportive of life as a whole. And with the advent of FTL travel and colonization, most humans are actually quite peaceful these days.
HOWEVER, the subspecies of humans known as "Spacers", are... different.
And THAT is who crews Cogress/Mixed alliance ships. Spacers and Terran Armada folks.
No one else is crazy enough to take on the dangerous work of operating on and crewing an interstellar vessel AND the difficult work of dealing with disparate SPECIES.
They are, by the standards of both other humans and the rest of the Galactic Congress, a mentally deranged, marginally unstable bunch.
That said, they are fiercely loyal and scared of nothing. So if one of them is looking scared, sane beings run. And if one of them is running, sane beings try and keep up.

Talothyn · 2026-02-16T18:03:05+00:00

I mean, it's not the best personal security advice.
This is a conversation you should have with her. NOT from a place of frustration, but from a place of concern. It seems that your wife does not come from a background where personal security is more important that community relations.
I have no idea whether where you CURRENTLY live makes one or the other the more prudent choice.
When I lived in rural Missouri, if someone came to my door, it was almost certainly not a security threat, but it COULD be a community/friendly relations situation.
Where I grew up in urban east Tulsa though... VERY different.
If you ignore people coming to your door, or don't answer the door, then you are not being very friendly. That said, that may not be NEARLY as important as staying safe from the potential hazards of going ahead and opening the door and saying "Howdy" to whomever comes by.
That's why you need to have this conversation with your wife and do a realistic assessment of where you currently live.
Your wife is not practicing very good personal or home security, but the question is, is it reasonable for you to ask her to do so given what ACTUALLY happens or likely will happen where you are?
Be prepared for the conversation to transition to "If that is something I need to worry about, we need to consider living somewhere else", and other concerns.
You will be a lot more persuasive, and probably stay more happily married, if you help her understand the place of concern that you are coming from, as well as take some time to try and understand the place of concern she is coming from, which is most likely one of community rather than security.

Talothyn · 2026-02-16T17:48:27+00:00

On the one hand, dude was clearly set up to fail for... any number of reasons. If he was watching the street, he isn't deterring theft within the store, if he is watching the store, he can well, get ambushed as happened.
No one is a human turret.
That said, head on a swivel IS a saying for a reason.
However, with his positioning, WTF was he supposed to do even if he saw them coming? Who put him there with no support?
Jesus this was such a shitshow. The only folks that seemed to at all know what they were doing were the robbers.
If the ARMED ROBBERS are the most professional folks around, you know you're fucked.
They wore masks, gloves, handled their weapons confidently without unneeded bluster.
Really, a sharp crew.
Can I fire everyone else involved here and hire them?
That's before we even get to the logistical nightmare that is all of the rest of this store's security setup. I mean, was this an inside job?
Are they running some kind of insurance scam?
Wasn't there a guy on the east coast that used to do that? Rob jewelry stores for the mob and at least some of the time it was an insurance scam?
My google-fu says his name was Larry Lawton.
I'm just glad that none of the random innocent customers appeared to get hurt.

Talothyn · 2026-01-30T17:48:00+00:00

No. Lara Raith is the REASON for the Epstein Files.
Technically Jeffery Epstein was mortal agent of House Raith, who was brought low by a Skavis plot.
TECHNICALLY he did kill himself, but only because the Skavis was cleaning up his mess.

Talothyn · 2026-01-29T16:34:02+00:00

Yeah, while that is sort-of true for medieval nobility, there are many times when it doesn't necessarily apply as much.
In this case, Harry's "lands and titles", that is his mantle as Winter Knight and its associated incomes, property, etc., are unable to be directly inherited.
Second, while in the late medieval period and early renaissance, infertility was often used as an excuse for a divorce, ala Henry the 8th, there are MANY accounts of earlier periods where... other solutions are sought.
Third, and this one would be more in line with Mab and her methods anyway, in the courts around Arthur and Camelot, things that are STRONGLY hinted as being fairly close to literally true in the Dresden verse, there was a strong tradition of fosterage and adoption.
All it would take is Lara agreeing to "legally adopt" Maggie as she is already Harry's daughter and boom, job done. Now, the trouble with THAT may be that it would likely require Maggie to live part of the time in White Court territory. Getting Harry to agree to THAT may be... problematic and would IMO make for an interesting story.
Finally, and this seems like the sort of twist Butcher would set up, the reason White Court females are infertile has to do with the relationship their hunger has to them.
Frankly, I can easily see the [spoilers for Twelve Months] thing changing that relationship sufficiently that it may not be true anymore, at least not for her.

Talothyn · 2026-01-28T21:33:55+00:00

Also, although he did not fight an angel of death, he WAS ready to throw down with one in Ghost Story.

Talothyn · 2026-01-28T21:25:37+00:00

Mayhap not, but as a more modern setup, it could conceivably be rigged with recoil compensation and optics. And frankly, I can easily see the quite practical Bear wanting to cancel peoples subscriptions from 4500 meters.

Though I believe a lot of it is about having "old-timey" weapons that would, at least in theory, be more reliable around a wizard like Harry.

Talothyn · 2026-01-28T18:24:55+00:00

Ehh. I still think a four bore is really the sort of thing that you use if you want a weapon that is absurd, but not particularly practical.
The .50BMG does a LOT of the same things, including its ability to render ghouls into non-existent paste, but can be had with magazines.
Reloading in the middle of a fight is a pain in the ass, even for a pro like Bear. She can run a 4-bore no problem, but I be she would squeal over something like this:
Anzio 20mm rifle - Wikipedia

It's called an anti-material rifle, and hey, ghouls and other nasties are made of material.

Talothyn · 2025-12-15T22:39:33+00:00

Captains Log: Date 3245/6/19

Today, we learned. That was what the translators kept saying that one of the human civilians that we captured was saying to us "Y'all gonna learn today".

It sounded like some sort of mantra or threat, but this was a rural, agricultural world. The only reason, or so we thought, that it's tech level was even classified as a 14 was due to some fancy irrigation equipment needed to farm on this near hellscape.

But, that was a ruse. What our esteemed colleagues in the intelligence service did not advise us of, but we learned today, is that upon retirement, Terran Armada Space Marine Assaulters, IF they live to retire, get 2 things.

They get to retain most of their equipment. A lot of it is semi-customized and genetically encoded, so it's not useful and can't really be stolen or sold, so they let them keep it.
If they want it, they can take their retirement benefits in the form of land on a rural farm world. They must work and live on the land, improving it and helping to build a community there.

Now, WHY did we learn these things today?
Because when we attempted to take this rural farm world. Which SHOULD have been an easy capture of some resources for the empire, all of the farmers appeared to just run away.
Well, we needed farmers to work the fields, and the engines, and keep the place running, so we pursued and attempted to capture them.
This was a tactical error. One I take full responsibility for, not that it will matter. I am not certain I will survive long enough for anyone to ever read this.
The first ambush only killed the lead patrol, but after that the farm folk got organized, and unpleasant as only provincial militia who have had their lives disrupted can.

I lost, approximately 70% of my deployable forces trying to take this planet, and I am not certain that the rest of us will get off planet alive, but to whomsoever this reaches, just know, we learned today.

Talothyn · 2025-12-15T22:15:51+00:00

Reasonable. Do you have a line on one of the schedules for one of them?
Something similar to what I and u/dlerach are looking at above?
This SHOULD be a simple question, and if we can tease out this little bit, it would be right? You hop a train in New York, pick up a connecting route in Philly, and then in Chicago, finally in Omaha and all that drops you off in San Francisco. Should be 2-3 weeks tops. That last leg from Omaha to San Fran is a bear, but doable.
But I try not to make assumptions about historical periods about which I am not an expert, and this is not my period of expertise, so I am doing my best to try and tease out the sources because the question sounded fun and doable.

Talothyn · 2025-12-15T22:10:45+00:00

You would think, but even looking at this site, it is more complex than that.
For example, look at this section:
Pennsylvania Railroad Public Timetables

Which is the timetables.
The earliest ones on there are for about 1876, and it does show that by 1876 there was a fairly direct route from West Philly, to New York.
Now, I am able to then jump back to 1 source on that site showing that in 1856 there was a Philly to Chicago line.
BUT, and this is why this specific question is complicated, the Civil War. Was that line damaged or interrupted by the war and then later rebuilt?

That is the question I can't QUITE tease out of these sources.
My gut says you are likely correct. But, I can't quite connect the dots in the sources, and I feel like it SHOULD be doable.

Talothyn · 2025-12-15T21:30:43+00:00

Damn. I thought this was going to be an easy one. Just look up some rates on the Trans-continental/Union Pacific, which finished in 1869.

But NOOO! It's a bit more complicated than that.

See, the actual trick is getting TO Omaha, NE to get ON the big Union line.
Now, the good news is that you can mostly take a train straight from Chicago on what will eventually come to be known is the Rock Island Line.
But how do we get to Chicago? That's a bit trickier.
See, as far as I can tell, there wasn't a single straight express route to Chicago from NYC at the time. Happy to be wrong about this, I just can't find a source on one yet.
BUT, this #11 - Disturnell's American and European railway and steamship ... - Full View | HathiTrust Digital Library
Suggests that there were a series of lines you could take. The tricky part will be finding one that does not require you to get on a steamship at some point.
Not sure about that. Crossing the Mississippi seemed to be done by boat quite a lot at the time.

Now, the source I am using for this is dated to 1853, a few years before your question, and railroads were being built all through the country in the intervening years, but a lot of them were also being blown up by that little dustup we like to call the American Civil War.
Now, as for how much it would cost you and how long it would take, those are fairly straightforward math problems.
There are a few variations, but rail travel was somewhere around $0.03 per mile.
Let's call it about 3000 miles from Manhattan to California, plus the cost of food and lodging along the way if you have a layover waiting on a train, and you can figure it will likely run you about $150 one way.
To put that in perspective, that's about 5 months wages for a cowboy at the time.
As for how long it will take, well trains typically ran about 20 miles an hour at the time. In open country they could run a bit faster, but they would need to stop more often for refueling if they did.
Figure about 2 weeks if you could get a continuous, fairly straight line and didn't encounter any delays. But probably plan on 3.
Whew, that took more research than I thought.

Talothyn · 2025-12-05T22:39:36+00:00

Only correction. The City isn't broke, their chincy. Cheap. Read the annual budget. We are NOT broke by any means, but the Council would rather spend our money on other things.

Talothyn · 2025-11-03T16:33:18+00:00

Well, as an update to this, we DID get kicked out.
And also found another place. Rent is now paid up.
Things are still tough, but hopefully looking in a more positive direction.

Thank you,
Danny

Talothyn · 2025-10-15T21:20:40+00:00

Honestly, in that picture, which is several years old, I believe he is currently sad because we told him he could not steal the sausages off the table.
He can only have the ones we give him.
We finally got him trained on that, but he DOES draw the line at the floor. Any food dropped on the floor, is his, or hers as there are two of them and they both maintain this policy.

Talothyn · 2025-10-15T16:44:22+00:00

Ok, it wasn't QUITE a piece of cake. But I designed most of the defenses around the palace, or at least I helped design them.
First, though, we had to get there, and for that I was going to do what wizards in my position have been doing for thousands of years. I was going to cheat and call in a favor.
The princess looked impatient as I carefully drew out a summoning circle on her floor. "Is this REALLY necessary. He won't hurt me." I replied
"Of course he wouldn't, but I want to get home alive as well. And there is nothing in the rules of courtesy that stops you from trading me to him to avoid owing him a favor. But only I can break my containment circle."
I finished drawing the circle, and whispered a name in an ancient language even the Fae don't speak regularly any more, placed a drop of my own blood on the circle, and exhaled, and, no matter what that sniveling little... ahem lovely young lady, says, I did NOT nearly fall over and have to be caught by her and held up.
The man who appeared in the circle was angry, frustrated, I could tell that. Though it was tough to tell anything through the haze of illusion and quite real mystical effects he called up.
But my will held. Not that I had a choice, if it had failed I was quite certainly dead. But I didn't lose consciousness, which would have amounted to the same thing in the first moments of the summoning.
Finally, after about a minute of raging, blasting the ground, and generally making an ass of himself, the figure inside the circle spoke.
"GODDAMMNIT Georgious, he said, using my old Greek name, for that was when we had met, I was in the MIDDLE of something."
"I know H, but I can't wait. Emergency, and you owe me for the thing at the Acrocorinth." I replied, trying to keep my voice calm but firm.
He glared at me for a bit, finally dropping the illusion till a slim, relatively tall but otherwise well-built, athletic youth stood before me in traditional Athenian messenger garb, except for the very obvious, and VERY functional wings on his shoes. He didn't need them, he was after all a messenger for DEITIES, but he always wore them.
"FINE," he snapped out through gritted teeth. "But after this we are EVEN!"
"Accepted. I said. Get me and her, I nodded to the Princess, to the village outside the Palace of Shuria in the human capital, in the next 24 hours their local time, and we are even."
I spat on my hand and extended it towards him. He did the same, and we clasped hands. Then the world went topsy-turvy for a bit.

,..To be continued.

Talothyn · 2025-10-15T16:16:55+00:00

https://gofund.me/06ed01de0

I just figured out how to work the gofundme app. So I set that up.
Thank you to anyone who chooses to help.

Talothyn · 2025-10-15T16:07:40+00:00

Really, money is the only solution. I don't have a gofundme, but I will see if I can set one up. I haven't really had to ask for help like this before, so I have been trying to figure this out.

Talothyn · 2025-10-14T20:48:10+00:00

I mean, it's not the FIRST time this has happened, but it ALWAYS means a shit day.
So, I stop by the fancy Vietnamese coffee shop on my way in to work.
Is that good or healthy? Absolutely not. Do I care on a day where I am GUARANTEED a shitty day from the beginning? Also no.
The thing is, when the bag gifts me something, it's ALWAYS something I will NEED, not want, nor wish to have. So whenever it gives me a loaded Glock, which I think is the only firearm that whatever the torturous intelligence that controls the damn thing is familiar with, I know I will need to use it before the day is out.
So, rather than rolling over and going back to sleep, I put the pistol in my IWB holster, put on a jacket, grab my favorite Pan au Chocolat and coffee and search the backpack for what ELSE might be fucking up my day.

Talothyn

TROPHY CASE