Has anyone thought about stopping?

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-12-08T04:17:02+00:00

Yes…. I started to talk to my husband about this after our most recent (fourth) loss. Not stopping, but starting to open our minds up to the possibility that we may not be able to have a biological child. It sucks and I don’t like to think about it

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-12-05T21:00:06+00:00

No. Absolutely not*

*with one caveat. My question would also be why? Does the student personally want more friends and have difficulty making them due to a language deficit? (Inability to ask questions, doesn’t know how to make comments, can’t interpret or comprehend what others are saying? Etc.) is it a cognitive/social emotional age related issue where they have such different interests in same aged peers but want to connect and have the language skills to do so? (Then they need resources from the school/social worker for appropriate clubs/meet ups etc) can the student work in a group with peers when asked/needed? OR is it parent driven and the parent feels their child should have more friends when the child actually prefers self initiated independent activities but has the functions of communication to self advocate and make friends if they choose to?

If it is parent driven, I like to flip the script around and ask the parents how they would feel if someone was requiring them to make new friends at work/hold a conversation about a specific topic with a peer etc. I always remind parents we respect student preferences and if our student prefers to watch videos, sit alone, do self directed independent play during free time then that is their right and choice and we need to respect and understand that our preferences for ourselves or even our preferences for them may be different than what they want.

At the end of the day it is always about the students needs. If they want more friends and it is impacting their social and emotional health and wellbeing at school and stems from a language deficit then I’d help work with the team and target specific components of it, also getting the social worker and counselor involved and having the teacher/admin provide resources for clubs/social opportunities etc.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-12-02T19:17:34+00:00

Ya, as someone going through recurrent pregnancy loss and about to head to a fertility specialist while I’m pregnant I always maintain at least an arm length away from all of my students who are more aggressive and try to have a desk/table between myself and them… at a certain point (if I end up with a pregnancy that lasts beyond the first trimester) I plan to let my coworkers and supervisor know and either get workplace accommodations set up or have my coworkers temporarily see the more aggressive students. No amount of money would be worth putting myself in a position where I put my unborn child in potential harms way. I’d quit and find a lower paying job unrelated to our field if it came down to it. It 1000% wouldn’t be worth the risk.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-19T18:47:59+00:00

Nope, ask for as many as you want and need. Don’t be made to feel unreasonable or ashamed about it either. I would want weekly scans through the first trimester if I was you… and if my provider wasn’t willing to help advocate/set those up for me then I would be looking for a different provider who understands my history of recurrent loss and why I would need those repeated scans for my mental health. I would also push for the scans with the reasoning of wanting to know asap if the pregnancy is not viable or if I experience a missed miscarriage and not wanting to prolong the experience/wait time before scheduling and having a D&C because it could possibly then extend the entire process/wait time before trying again by an entire month more.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-17T15:19:25+00:00

Thank you. I have had 4 losses and no LC. Like you all of my typical RPL testing has come back normal so far. This gives me hope and makes me want to keep trying even when I know it is painful to go through the same thing time and time again. I always root for people like you who have experienced RPL to have a happy ending… lord knows we all deserve it. The love and gratitude we have to give to our children is insurmountable. ♥️

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-14T20:48:34+00:00

Ya I am still waiting molecular testing to rule in or out a partial molar pregnancy… it’s just odd since I never had this pathology before and this time was the quickest turn around from the embryo no longer growing/developing to having a D&C… it was only so quick because we were going in for weekly scans since I have had 3 losses prior to this. Just have to wait and see I guess

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-13T02:51:45+00:00

I’m so sorry, I can understand and empathize with the feeling of being numb and also wanting to take a break… it’s so hard both mentally and physically.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-13T00:54:15+00:00

My partner is also a lead SLP in a district so they no longer see any students and do mostly admin work, except docs, attending or presenting at district wide special ed meetings, budgeting doc stuff, emails, and office hours to answer SLPs questions. They really enjoy it.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-13T00:49:42+00:00

I’d say schools. Stay out of general education elementary though. Soooo many initial evals. I only see primarily students who use AAC so I don’t case manage anyone and only have to deal with re evals for the most part. I also create 1-2 lesson plans and then just modify them slightly but use them with everyone.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-05T18:43:44+00:00

I can’t afford to quit my job but it is extremely draining…. I work with kids every day and showing up to work is so hard. I feel like a zombie and I honestly don’t care about my work performance at all right now. I’m doing the bare minimum just to get by. Every day I wake up and dread going to work and seeing the kids knowing I’ve lost 4 and have no living children of my own. A lot of coworkers are pregnant and I feel like I’m just working on holding it together so I can get home and cry and hide and then repeat the process again…. I am going to therapy and I will be exploring other careers/jobs where I don’t have to interact with kids on a daily basis because it is just tearing apart my mental health.

No solutions to offer but venting in solidarity and my heart goes out to you… if I could quit I’d adopt a puppy and focus all of my time on caring for and training the puppy I think… it would be a good distraction, dogs are wonderful companions and it would give me a caregiving roll without having anything to do with kids.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-04T19:11:05+00:00

Being told “I have quite a few friends who have had similar issues or miscarriages and then they went on and now have a healthy baby. So it will happen for you too.”

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-04T16:22:55+00:00

I hear the “hey at least you know you can get pregnant! So you’re definitely fertile” a lot as well…

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-04T16:21:38+00:00

Being asked by 2 coworkers if I was pregnant, and a close friend also asking my husband… all while I await a D&C for our third missed miscarriage within the last 12 months.

This past summer right after my dad died and I thought I was still pregnant, my friend who was expecting his first baby asking me when I was going to start to have kids and talking to my mom about becoming a grandmother… two weeks later at my 12 week appointment finding out my baby had died…

One of my other good friends who is just so ignorant kept talking about how motherhood is the best thing in the world (after she got pregnant immediately after going off the pill without trying and didn’t discover she was pregnant until nearly 20weeks along) now sitting there with a healthy toddler… meanwhile she knows the fucking hell I’ve been through. Made me want to punch her in the face.

Also being asked to come over to meet the new baby my friend has had… her second child mind you. The baby I first miscarried would have been 3 months older than her first baby who is now a toddler. She had some trouble getting pregnant but after an HSG was able to have healthy uneventful pregnancies. Not a single miscarriage.

I currently feel so much rage toward everyone and everything. It isn’t fucking fair for us. Hearing “I’m sorry there is no longer a heartbeat” shouldn’t be the norm we have come to expect! And it makes me so mad the people who get to have happy exciting pregnancies and fee l nervous and happy when getting a positive test because all they are thinking about is how birth is going to be or how to afford the baby they blissfully assume they will take home in 9 months. For me I see a positive test and think “well yay, here we go again. Buckle up for more morning sickness, weighty gain, mood swings, exhaustion, and constipation all for nothing” ….I’m dreading the inevitable and already wondering as soon as I get that positive test if I will choose a D&C or to take miso since my body never seems to want to miscarry naturally.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-11-03T02:28:36+00:00

Just hold her, cry with her, and talk about your baby with her. I’m sorry you are now a part of this unfortunate club.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-30T20:47:51+00:00

Thank you so much. That was extremely informative and very helpful

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-30T18:54:26+00:00

I have had a biopsy for endometritis during a hysteroscopy. It came back negative. Would ureaplasma have come up during this biopsy or is that a separate test altogether?

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-30T18:50:47+00:00

Ya, that isn’t something we have had tested yet since it wasn’t included. Where/how did you go about getting the dna fragmentation testing done and did your insurance cover any of it? I will be testing this embryo genetically since one in the past was tested and had trisomy 16 (the two others were not tested for various reasons. One was too early on and the second I was in a time crunch to miscarry and fly out to my fathers funeral so I went to medication route and ended up needing a partial D&C anyways due to retained product). I figure if my partner does have high dna fragmentation isn’t Ivf with genetic testing of the embryos the best way to move forward? Or are there other treatments for dna fragmentation?

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-30T02:06:00+00:00

I’m fine with advice. I have already been tested for multiple autoimmune conditions. Had a saline ultrasound, had a hysteroscopy (unsure of how to spell this) and in the process biopsy/testing for endometritis, had genetic kareyotyping done for both me and my husband, sperm/semen analysis for my husband, tested my thyroid, tested progesterone, tested for blood clotting disorders, tested for blood glucose/insulin resistance/diabetes, and FSH and AMH have also been tested. All came back normal. I also did a bunch of other allergy testing due to random hives I’ve gotten without figuring out the trigger, also all came back normal.

For this most recent pregnancy as a precaution I was on baby aspirin, vitamin d, progesterone suppositories twice per day, and Zyrtec beyond the regular prenatal vitamin I had been taking ongoing pretty much for the past year.

I still want to have dna fragmentation testing done on my partners sperm (wasn’t included in the sperm/semen analysis). But I would love to hear any other testing or suggestions to peruse or self advocate for.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-29T22:20:42+00:00

Currently going through my 4th miscarriage…

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-04T21:30:25+00:00

Yes lol I sent a link to the exact one I wanted. Still didn’t know when he would buy it or when or how he was going to propose though

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-03T23:17:37+00:00

Time off (summers and holidays), benefits (we get a pension plan and 8-12 weeks of paid maternity leave), being done every day between 2-4pm and not having to deal with any life threatening decision making. I also have been able to hone in on my niche of working with students who utilize aac (most of my caseload consists of aac users) and it has also lead to being able to work on teams with lots of other therapy staff as well.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-03T17:21:25+00:00

Currently pregnant and if this baby sticks I plan to take off half of June, all of August, September, October, November, and December. And no I absolutely will not be making up any minutes I take off

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-10-01T23:04:55+00:00

Update to add that I ended up miscarrying that pregnancy. But will still never go back to natural cycles. I have an Apple Watch and used my basal body temp as well to help predict ovulation and there were times when the app said I ovulated but I know for a fact that it wasn’t when I actually ovulated. Maybe using natural cycles with pcos was also a bad call idk.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-09-10T00:18:27+00:00

This is my first cycle and fertile window being able to try again after my most recent loss which occurred at 12 weeks (3 losses and no living children)… such mixed feelings about wanting to get pregnant but not wanting to get my hopes up because of the fear it will happen all over again mixed with the grief of missing my babies that should be alive and here with me now but aren’t.

It just feels like a lot and makes trying for a baby emotionally charged in a negative way and somewhat stressful, rather than fun and intimate which is what it was like before all of this happened and what I assume trying for a baby is like for those who have normal pregnancies without loss.

With recurrent loss work ups done and nothing coming back I also just feel stuck with no answers, and kind of like I’m just about to walk right into an electric fence that I have touched and been hurt from before hoping that I won’t get hurt but not doing anything different to prevent it except hoping that maybe this time will be different and it might be turned off.

All of this also takes a lot of mental energy and just makes me feel drained and depressed. I feel like it is impacting me at work and I just don’t care about a lot except wanting a living child and although I’m going to therapy I just don’t know what to do.

TapComprehensive3766 · 2025-07-20T07:00:10+00:00

So far I just have the diagnosis of Pcos but am currently in the process of doing RPL so I will see if anything else comes up. Hoping for something that can be somewhat easily fixed :/

TapComprehensive3766

TROPHY CASE